Men are so shallow nowadays

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I'm about to give up on OLD and dating in general. It seems like men only want model types and pornstars. Personality is no longer important in this day and age.

I want someone to like me for who I am who shares common interests who I can also be intimate with.

I'm so sick of men telling me I'm not attractive enough or that I should change something about my looks. I'm healthy, a good person who's is ambitious. So what am I doing wrong? Is it me or is it men?

You've made a massive generalisation.

Nobody is wrong. The right one just hasn't found you. We all have our types.

What kind of men are you talking to? I do OLD and have met loads of great guys.

I talk to the ones who talk to me. I'm not picky either as I know how hard it is to attract a mate when society sees your ethnicity as less attractive.

Hmm. I think that there is more opportunity for them to be honest about what they really want. Some of them really do want a porn star, legs akimbo, and not much else. Just be picky and wait until you find one you think is decent, or can be trained.

Er... what 'ethnicity' is seen as 'less attractive' by 'society'?

To be honest, I doubt it's just men who are "shallow". I expect overweight, short, balding men also find OLDing more difficult than their gym-toned, six-footer counterparts, however much anyone says they just want to meet people with similar interests and nice personalities.

It took me three years to find the right person for me. Just to give you an idea of the amount of wrong for you people out there.

i agree op - its all about the casual sex these days

Well it isn't you OP. You sound lovely.
Maybe you've just been very unfortunate in your dating experience so far.
So, don't change what you do( except, maybe, finely tune your male tart filter) but do change the sites that you've signed up to and try out others like Match.com for example.
My niece uses this one, amongst others and has met some truly decent guys.
You just have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince as I tell her!
Additionally, there appears to be a massive disconnect these days between reality and fantasy in dating generally - again, according to my niece (She's 37 incidentally and a divorced, professional mum) She tells me that increasingly, there's a cohort of men who appear to enjoy finding fault but if you screen them prior to meeting up, its fairly easy to sort out the wheat from the chaff. And importantly, she never lets what she calls 'The Loons', put her off finding 'The One'.
Tell them to piss off if they say hurtful things to you. Take your power back and laugh at their sad little attempts to make you feel bad in order to make themselves feel good.
And don't give up! If you do...they win don't they?

Er... what 'ethnicity' is seen as 'less attractive' by 'society

I honestly can't think of any ethnicity that is less attractive.

Only someone mired in white privilege would have no idea what you meant by that.

What?

i agree op - its all about the casual sex these days

Really.........

I'm so sick of men telling me I'm not attractive enough or that I should change something about my looks

If that's what men have been saying to you OP, then the problem is definitely with them, not you.

For those you who question the OP's experience, here are a few articles about the challenges black women typically face online dating. I had thought this stuff was common knowledge. Obviously not.

www.google.co.uk/amp/amp.dailydot.com/irl/online-dating-while-black/

madamenoire.com/502861/online-dating-doesnt-work-for-black-women/

Btw, I've no idea what ethnicity you consider yourself to be OP. But wanted to chime in and say, yes, this is an issue other women report.

Your ethnicity will be THE most attractive ethnicity to the right man when he comes along. We all have different tastes. Some men are shallow, yes, but many are not and I bet you're gorgeous anyway. You sound nice and intelligent, those are much more important qualities and any man that disagrees is a mug.

Only someone mired in white privilege would have no idea what you meant by that
Bollocks.

People with disabilities have commented how they aren't always successful with online dating. Is this down too white privilege aswell?

There was an interview in Grazia a while ago about online dating written by a young disabled woman. Amongst the messages she got from men was "does that mean you cant feel anal"

This is the article.

www.pressreader.com/uk/grazia-uk/20160628/281874412713574

Ahem. Just gonna leave this here:

www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/83fb8f3e-f1f6-4df9-ab5c-14e856ce486b