Dh's penis enlargement - should I be less skeptical?!

[mollipops]

Okay, I thought about labelling this a "sensitive topic" but after reading the bj conversation I feel less obliged to do so!!!

It's like this...Dh found a web site with a set of exercises supposedly "guaranteed" to enlarge the penis. Of course he paid US$50 for this (without telling me, mind you, until he had already done so). When he did tell me, I told him I thought it was completely ridiculous, and couldn't help laughing at him. I mean, he's not hung like a pornstar but he's about average (I think - now we're getting over to the ave partner count here! Yes I have seen my share and then some, but basically I'm not complaining and never have done. It's just a complex he has, just like I think my boobs are too small.)

So now he spends every night of the week, locked away in our bathroom with the baby oil, for 45 minutes. He has one or two "nights off" a week, and then of course he expects me to jump into bed with him instead. Btw there is no climaxing involved with these "exercises". But frankly I feel a bit put out and ignored by this time and not at all in the mood. Add to this that most nights he disappears into the study straight afterwards to look at the sharemarket on the net for another hour...you get the picture.

I have tried to tell him I do not care about the size of the damn thing (not in those exact words, mind), it works perfectly fine, but he insists he is doing it for both of us. I have explained how I feel ignored and how it is actually doing more harm to our relationship and that he has his priorities wrong but he just doesn't get it. I think he'd be better off lifting weights or doing sit ups for 45 minutes if he wants to improve his body image!!!

Yes if I wanted to get a boob job I know it would be for me, not for him, and I guess that's how he sees it. But everyone can see your boobs are bigger can't they, nobody but us knows if his penis is .1cm wider or something stupid. It makes it worse it's something I can't go to my friends or family about too. Basically I think he's being selfish, adolescent and ridiculous. Anyone else?

No, no, no - the extension was for her to live in - the shoes and handbags get the house OF COURSE!!!

Anyway - can you keep a secret - I heard she just got Botox!!! How vain can you get!!!

I heard that jmg-etta had booked herself in for a boob job sometime soon. Apparently her man-boobs just didn't have that extra 'oomph' that she wanted.

Oooh!!! Do you reckon she'll have another nip and tuck while she's there? Between you and me, she's starting to look a bit pot-bellied these days

GASP!

I blame it on all that absinthe she's been putting away. And then of course there's the all-important question - what's she going to do with the extra ahem 'bulge' in her Chelsea thongs? Will she get rid of it or (dare I say it) hang on to it for dear life?

Do you think her ears are burning yet?

If her ears aren't burning, they should be!!!

Come into the 'salon' for a natter!!!

jmg's ears are burning too much!
You two are norty and will be going down in my little black book and will be dealt with at an appropriate time in the fututre.

Promises promises!!! All talk, no action!!

"Size doesn't matter" is what we tell the boys as it shoots us in the foot to say differently but clearly it DOES matter - why not encourage him to go for a permanent fix via surgery if he is concerned about this?

This will be my last message on mumsnet. I have embarrassed myself to the point I can't think anyone here will take me seriously again.

And to those who did on this thread, thank you. I will miss you. To the others, glad I could provide some entertainmment.

As an update to anyone interested (haha), dh has finally accepted the fact that he needs to stop. After a talk about it (before which I told him I wanted a trial separation) I finally found out why he felt the need to try this. I hope we can work it out from here.

Sorry mollipops. The thread diverted so we moved off to a different thread but obviously the old stuff is still here. Sorry.

Please don't go - I'm sorry we took over the thread for a while but we did take you seriously. I'm glad the problems been sorted out, and please stay on mumsnet. There's no reason why you should be embarrassed and we'll all still take you seriously but even if you don't think we can, you can change your name and carry on with mumsnet.

Mollipops, please don't go. I did think that you sounded rather sad about it, but didn't know what to say. And don't be embarrassed - there is no need at all!

Well done in managing to get through to your dh about it. Is he feeling ok?

I think it is something that many men might have secretly experimented with - but I think I would have been very perterbed and upset had I found myself outside the bathroom door like that every night.

How are you?

mollipops, I've really enjoyed reading your messages on other threads. Please don't go. Can you come round to seeing what's happened on this thread is a hijack of a topic - as you know it happens a lot on mumsnet for all sorts of reasons. I really sorry you felt laughed at and I'm sure none of the posters here ever wanted you to go.

Glad you've worked something out with your dh - if my dh went into a room each night as per the website instructions, I'd be really angry too.