In love with 2 men.. kind of

[BassMama]

So..

for those who know me you will probably be getting bored of my fast-paced love life - I know its a different story every bloody week! so sorry..

Anyway - basically, i'll explain..

I was seeing a guy a for a couple of months last year. Nothing serious.. could have become serious, but for lots of reasons, wasn't.

I have recently slept with him a few times again, and i am clearly still in love with him, even though we are really really good friends now.. i know he has feelings for me too.

I have also recently started seeing a new man.. his best friend. He seems fine with it (like i said we are just good friends now) but i cant stop thinking about OldMan when with NewMan. But i do really like NewMan. But I compare newMan to OldMan and I clearly like OldMan better, but I cant have OldMan and I can have NewMan..

Does anyone want to give me some advice/reassurance/ideas?

Really i am just needing to vent.. I cant really talk to RL people about this as we are a 'group' of friends and so they all know each other etc etc...

er.. bumping in the hope that someone cares!!

x

I care... just don't know what to say, apart from if you don't decide which you want it will all end in tears!

Sorry!

I do hope you decide and get it sorted though.

THANK YOU!! even just to know someone is listening to me..

thing is - its not a decision as i cant have OldMan.

I just dont know whether pursuing NewMan (remember - OldMans best friend) is a good idea..

Certainly wont help me get over OldMan by seeing his best mate! BUT - I do like NewMan..

Maybe you should get 'NotherMan?!!!!!!!!!! And leave OldMan and NewMan behind.

ah.. easier said than done.. OldMan and I are in a band together! So i am kinda stuck!

Although i suposse i could just stop seeing NewMan as well.. but I like him!

you are just going to have to get over OldMan, if you can't have him. Stop sleeping with him and avoid him (especially if you can't have him because he's someone else's Man). Have fun with NewMan, he doesn't have to be forever. My God, at least you've got a choice!

Ditto nowornever! lol

So... honey give up on dreams of OldMan and stop shagging him. Shag NewMan to your heart's content or go find 'NotherMan and let him blow your mind!

Cant avoid him - and wouldn't want to as we are very good friends!!

BUT - I will take the advice about NewMan and just have some fun!!

AND Dont worry - I wont be sleeping with OldMan when i'm sleeping with NewMan!! I'm not THAT slutty !!!

Why can't you have OldMan?

ooh.. very long story!!

basically we were seeing each other a while back, but things went very complicated involving one of the other guys in our band who was in love with me - so we agreed it was for the best not to pursue anything so as not to 'rock the boat'.
There were a couple of other little things as well but basically, it wont happen.

Go on............................

Okay!

1. He is a lot older and has a problem with the age difference.
2. I am very 'popular' and get chatted up a lot and he has jealousy issues - we both agreed that that problem would be too big a problem
3. He is a bit of a 'ladies man' shall we say.. and doesnt think he could be totally faithful (he never has been before!) and, full respect to him, told me he wouldn't want to treat me like that (which is more consideration than he has for his current shag..) And i don't think he would change!

To name a few..!

BassMama - you are just too foxy for your own good!

Not meaning to be flippant about your dilemma, but wow, what a life!

Forget Oldman and stick with Newman....for now

ha ha!!

yeah.. it can be exciting!! think my friends get bored of my men-chat though.. thats why i like to come and do it on here!

Think i will take the advice and go for it with NewMan.

Until 'NotherMan comes along

Good reasons, concentrate in Newman or stop dithering between these two and find another. From what you say in your post I think Newman will show up very soon

I'm amazed that the former bloke has no problems with his ex being with his best mate if he has jealousy issues with you just being chatted up??

don't go with NewMan - he will always pale in comparison to OldMan (literally Old Man??)

wait for a New NewMan and keep shagging OldMan - NewMan wil always be second best.

some women like bad men....

But OldMan he cant really get jealous when there is nothing going on with us anymore!!

I know he did speak to NewMan about me, but he was very, very nice about it and NewMan showed me a text that OldMan sent after the chat, saying:

'{my name}'s a wicked girl, cool as fck. You are very lucky to have her, treat her right and dont fck her about. she'll make you happy mate.'

(thats the actual wording by the way - NewMan forwarded it to my phone!)

Which I thought was really nice..

But Oldman has new squeeze so she can't keep shagging him and she likes Newman anyway!

So he's clearly given the red light and is 'over you' but... surely with all you other admirers you could cast your net a bit wider than his best mate? I sense you're not that into him, but as he's already part of the whole scenario you're going along with it?

Fairy - thats what i'm worried about.. though so far some things about NewMan are better, and some things not as good..!

Wont shag OldMan anymore, and i wouldnt again unless things with NewMan were seriously over..

WPCC - Yes i do!!

Cool message from OldMan to NewMan. Wonder what message he'd send to 'NotherMan? lol

Oh and what a life you have BassMama.... so glad you're not basemama! lol (That may have only been funny in my own head sorry!)

Crystalpony -

I'm pretty sure he's not properly 'over me' which is kinda the problem.. I can tell, the way he looks at me, and sometimes, he goes to try it on and then has to stop.. or makes a comment and then stops himself IYKWIM..

I DO really like NewMan!

And i could cast my net wider! But i socialise with the same bloody guys (dont mean that bad!! they are my mates!) all the time. And they are in my band and extended network so cant really change friends!!