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Original poster

In love with 2 men.. kind of

70 replies

BassMama · 24/03/2007 22:25

So..

for those who know me you will probably be getting bored of my fast-paced love life - I know its a different story every bloody week! so sorry..

Anyway - basically, i'll explain..

I was seeing a guy a for a couple of months last year. Nothing serious.. could have become serious, but for lots of reasons, wasn't.

I have recently slept with him a few times again, and i am clearly still in love with him, even though we are really really good friends now.. i know he has feelings for me too.

I have also recently started seeing a new man.. his best friend. He seems fine with it (like i said we are just good friends now) but i cant stop thinking about OldMan when with NewMan. But i do really like NewMan. But I compare newMan to OldMan and I clearly like OldMan better, but I cant have OldMan and I can have NewMan..

Does anyone want to give me some advice/reassurance/ideas?

Really i am just needing to vent.. I cant really talk to RL people about this as we are a 'group' of friends and so they all know each other etc etc...

OP posts:
wpcanniecartwright · 25/03/2007 00:01

well you are only young once, enjoy yourself!

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:02

MarsLady..

Thanks!!

(dont get the base-thing tho.. ?!! sorry!)

OP posts:
MarsLady · 25/03/2007 00:03

Base as in..... actually thinking about it it's not nice at all. Just popped in and out of my head!

I like BassMama! Honey.... just enjoy yourself and keep safe!

FairyEdwards · 25/03/2007 00:04

NewMan will never measure up - shag him for the shag factor but no more - even in ten years time when you are in love with him and have his babies he will be the one who didn't measure up.

You can't make it happen or wait for it to happen. Move on honey.

crystalpony · 25/03/2007 00:05

I see what you mean, but speaking from experience, it's always going to be complicated...you remind me a lot of myself at your age.. I really lapped up the constant whirlwind of this kind of stuff, it's such a buzz and as long as you do truly have feelings for the new guy then you should be strict with the old one and knock him back when he tries it on...and put all your energies into enjoying the relationship you have... (Oldman's a bit of an iffy best friend if he's sending his mate that text and still trying it on mind...)

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:09

ooh go on MarsLady - what was it??!!

fairy - i know what you mean, but maybe he will? I mean, fundamentally, he is better than OldMan, he is:
a nicer guy
more of a gentleman
closer to my age (still a bit older though!)
Sweeter
Funnier
More caring
better in bed!
BUT he is not:
as 'cool' as OldMan
as good looking (but he's still cute!)
as well known (not that that matters really..)

OP posts:
Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:10

oh - no he hasnt tried it on since me and NewMan got together.. not that we are really 'together' IYKWIM.

he's not that much of an asshole!

OP posts:
wpcanniecartwright · 25/03/2007 00:11

nice to have a choice i say

MarsLady · 25/03/2007 00:11

Okay... but don't say I didn't warn you.

Base as in....lowest of the low. Slut-like low!

See???????????????? Some things are better left unsaid!

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:13

PMSL!!!!!!
I see why you didnt want to say!!

ROFL!!!

Oh!! might even consider a name change!! Maybe not..

ha ha your mind is terrible!

OP posts:
MarsLady · 25/03/2007 00:18

It's not the mouth it comes out of but the mind it goes into!

Sigh..............

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:19

well in that case i shall call it appropriate

OP posts:
MarsLady · 25/03/2007 00:19

And now I'm off to bed.

I imagine my dreams will be punctuated with OldMan, NewMan and 'NotherMan. The neighbours will think I'm having an orgy!

misdee · 25/03/2007 00:23

late coming in here (been on phone to best mate). he says move onto notherman as newman and oldman will get confusing.

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:29

ah.. but 'NotherMan doesn't actually exist.. he was just an idea that MarsLady had!!

OP posts:
misdee · 25/03/2007 00:30

he just offered himself

MarsLady · 25/03/2007 00:32

See????????????? If you wait long enough 'notherone comes along!

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:33

Brilliant!! Okay set me up with 'NotherMan!!

excellent - the MN dating agency!

OP posts:
misdee · 25/03/2007 00:33

might also stop him flirting with me

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:34

is he fit?!

OP posts:
misdee · 25/03/2007 00:35

yup. owns his own home, works a heck of a lot though. very into different sorts of music.

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:36

where does he live?

Sounds alrigh so far!

OP posts:
misdee · 25/03/2007 00:37

yeah but his madly in love with me

if you can cope with his terribel (and i mean terrible in the nicest possible way) flirting with me, you can have him lol.

Original poster
BassMama · 25/03/2007 00:40

hmm.. maybe it'd be better to leave him for you.

prefer men to give me their full attention !

OP posts:
misdee · 25/03/2007 00:42

i'm marrried!

he is also one of dh friends. (and yes dh knows he flirts dont worry). its like a runnign joke now.