DRY 18

[vxa2]

Link to old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2841743-DRY-17

I'm finding AF beer very helpful.
I've tried the Eisberg AF wine and it's okay.

Not weird at all; it is scary to completely change your life. But it's exciting and liberating and opens up endless opportunities and possibilities. I recommend reading Jason Vale's book and a book by an American woman whose name I can't remember at the mo! Will update later. Plus watch stuff on YouTube about the perils of drinking. And, if you need to, go on a diet - I promise you that your preoccupation with food will drown out any alcohol cravings!

I drink af wine from Sainsbury's - watered down with sparkling water, about 30:70 wine:water. I've grown to relish it. Honestly look forward to it each evening now.

I am around 7 weeks alcohol free now and don't have any desire to drink ever again.

Hello, I've recently posted on chat as I'm sick of drinking wine every night, although I'm finding it impossible to stop. I hope I can find some help on this thread, as I've had enough

I'm terrified that I'll never be able to stop drinking, I drink wine every night, it's become an awful habit

Good Morning ladies and welcome to all the newbies.

I was on some of the earlier threads but I follow this thread and post every now and again. I will be 500 days sober in a few days and I honestly could not have done it without the support I found here.

There are some great links at the beginning of the previous thread - link at start of this thread.

This is my blog:

sothisissober.com/

I also run my own group for women stopping drinking - Club Sober. I am in Birmingham so
If anyone is interested in coming along message me.

I am also a volunteer recovery coach so I have quite a lot of useful info which I can share.

It's hard, but giving up drinking is the best thing I have ever done. My life is so, so much better. KOKO.

Had my last drink 27 may so now 9 weeks in. Not lost any weight due to developing a chocolate habit. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow as I seem to have recently developed lots of spots and broken veins on face. Am really worried as my last appointment was for a full workup 6 years ago and showed liver probs. But that didn't stop me drinking. Worried that she will want me to have more tests and that I might have done irreparable damage. Had a shocking week of bad news last week which led to me 'bingeing' becks blue and although it didn't get me drunk, and I was still fit enough to drive to hospital if needed, I'm wondering if that will also impact any progress my liver had to recover. Suppose I will find out tomorrow.

I have read all 18 dry threads and am seriously in awe of how far you have come Vxa2 and for anyone who hasn't already, go back and read from the original threads. You will see that the struggles you are having are not individual to you and there are lots of links and support (such as vxa's blog) out there to help

I think I need to join this.

I don't drink all the time, one night a week usually. Every week though, and I've found myself waiting for the day that I'm free to drink. Looking forward to it too much.

When I start drinking I can't stop, until I've passed out. I've hurt those I love (no violence) and I've done things I would never do sober. I'm too ashamed to go into details just now, but I know I've behaved in a way that disgusts sober me.

Right now I never want to drink again, but I know by the weekend the temptation will be there & I'll think "oh I'll just have a few" but it never is.

I don't think I can learn when to stop, so I think I need to cut it out completely.

Hi all, I am back. Day 2 again....

So to recap first went AF last September for 92 days. Had a drink on 10 different occasions over the month of December but all pretty controlled. Had 3 occasions of drinking between January and April and then went away on holiday and drank every day. Came back and drank 2-3 times a week from April to July and then have just been on holiday again and drank every day for the week and carried on for 3 days when I got back.

So re-setting the counter again. Would like to do 30 days again and see where I go from there.

X

Georgina - I drank same as you. Always wanted to moderate, but couldn't stop when I started drinking. People got hurt, no-one more than myself. The thought of never drinking was unfathomable and terrifying.
I went to AA. I still go to AA. Nearly a decade without a drink and life better than ever. Don't miss it, want it. Alcohol is as much a part of my life as dog food (I don't have a dog.....)

Reading these threads off and on over the years, its obvious to me that trying to stop drinking by will power alone is largely unsuccessful. It was for me when I tried it. It was the sober me that picked up the first drink, so that tells me my alcoholism is centred in my head. So I need to change my head so I don't pick up the first drink. I change my thinking my changing my actions. Act my way to good thinking. For me that was going (and continuing to go) to AA.
Good luck. Alcoholism is a bastard thing - and it needs daily effort to beat it successfully, day at a time.

Thanks for your response Neutrogena, it's hard to consider myself an alcoholic - I'm not there in my head yet.

I do know that I need to stop, I've looked into AA & I find the thought of it terrifying.
Posting here was scary enough!

I've spoke to my husband about my lack of control, he's the one who gets hurt the most & he's fully onboard with me.

So I'm hoping, with support, I can get to where you are.

Friday night will be the hard time.

@showsomeclass

The thought of not drinking terrified me. How would I enjoy a party, catch up with a friend, savour a nice wine, etc ?
Its my alcoholism that tells me this. It tells me I cannot live without it.
Bollocks. I can live without it much happier than with it. So long as I change myself. Just by wanting to stop drinking isn't enough for me. I needed to change myself, and I needed help.
Ask for help and change what you do. Just wishing that you want to stop drinking isn't enough for most. Multiple posters on this thread display that will power is finite, and it runs out from most. They drink again, and their past becomes their future. That's misery. My alcoholism wants me mad or dead, but it settles for miserable.
Please get the help you need. You don't need to feel the way you do.

You don't have to call it alcoholism - you can 'name' it whatever you are comfortable with...

For me, I just say my drinking was getting a little silly and i decided to chuck it for a while - it's a lot easier for other to take on board than I was an alcoholic and had to stop forever because it was going to kill me!!

I'm now 246 days sober (and had to check) - it still hangs over me, but not to the extent it did.... but i do feel that one drink would be enough (for now) to undo all my hard work, so I just avoid that first drink...

I am moving house currently and I can't imagine being together enough this time last year to do what I am doing now... Sometimes it's good to reflect how far we've come, even it that just one day - 246 days started with 1 day, and then 2.....

Onwards...

Hi,

So I'm on Day 1 here! I have been attempting to give up wine completely for over a year now. Last summer I stayed off it for 3 months, but whilst on holiday I decided to have a cocktail one evening and that was it. Since then I've done up to 30 days at a time, but more recently it's only been around 10 days sober each time.

I was awake at 3am this morning feeling ashamed that I had once again drunk last night and vowed then that this is it. I find it much less enjoyable than I used to, and I definitely drink less, but there's still something that persuades me to pick up that first drink every few days.

I go on holiday next week, but instead of using this as an excuse to carry on, I'm instead looking forward to a sober holiday with no hangovers or excessive drinking. I did a sober holiday last summer and it was great. I've also got an agreement with my mum that we'll both stay sober for the next 30 days (she drinks a lot, and my dad was heavily dependent on alcohol too).

I've got some AF wine chilling in the fridge, and some eats and treats in. I'm looking forward to better sleep and no stomach problems, as well as a clear conscience and no feelings of shame.

In the past, I've often been derailed by a pre-arranged social function, where I battle with myself about whether I'll drink at or not. So I have today cancelled an event that was causing me to worry, and won't be arranging anything else for the foreseeable future either.

I'm going to head over and read the previous thread now

Evening everyone,

Some great posts on here last few days.

Met my friend who I haven't seen for a month as we've both been busy. She is sober too and has been for nearly 3 months. I am so pleased to have real life support and we have few sober outings planned already.

Early night with tea for me and a trip to the zoo tomorrow.

I hope AztecHero doesn't mind but I wanted to share this brilliant post from a different thread. Not knowing how to share posts (is this even possible?), I have used screen shots.

I am now on day 51 and do not miss booze at all! Not at all! I think I might be less 'fun' than I was on a night out and possibly a little less tolerant of boring company but I am living my life for me and my family - not for the entertainment of others. Not one regret here 😃

Oh, and I'm 4.5kg lighter with glowing, soft skin, a tidy(ish) house, more time for exercise, reading, cooking lovely meals and my self esteem is growing daily. I never have to pretend I remember what happened in a movie or a conversation. I never wake up alone on the sofa. I don't have to remember to buy wine to replace what I've drunk the night before & refilled with water. Oh yes, I was a proper secret drinker.

It is soooo worth it Keep on!

Any one else struggling with sugar cravings??? A month in and then it drinking it has been surprisingly easy now that I've made my mind up but have a terrible sweet tooth! Going to focus on month 2 being healthier on that front, was letting myself do what I wanted for the first - except the booze of course - but need to get a grip on that.

What a motivating post cupoftea, thank you for that. I'm feeling better and brighter this morning after a refreshing sleep last night. Went to bed super early last night. Day 2 here I come!

Chronicleink I think sugar cravings are quite common, as you're no longer getting all that sugar from booze so you seek it out elsewhere. I always have a v sweet tooth anyway!

Hi everyone, day 5 here and finding my stride again. Am loving not feeling so guilty or down anymore and already feel so much more energised. Did a shop this morning and didn't even think about going down the alcohol aisles. Am remembering how much easier and enjoyable life is sober.

Hello to all the newbies and thank you to all the experienced posters. I have 2 young children and struggle to find time to post and namecheck when they are around (which is always!) but I read everything and find these threads so motivating.

Also, I am rediscovering chocolate too. Will deal with that later!

Well done to everyone posting here!
It's so lovely to see the inspiration and strength that posts can give to others. It's very moving.
Day 24 for me. Big yes to the sugar cravings...there are lots of battles to be fought but at the moment alcohol is what I'm dealing with so sugar and crisps (so many crisps) are having their way for now!!

hamster have been thinking of you hope your Dr appt went ok

Great opportunity to try All The Crisps most I've had 3 packets of hula hoops today, must get a bit more adventurous!

We are going camping this weekend. The thought of doing that sober is sobering indeed but am very thankful I don't have to angst about where to hide a bottle of vodka...

I've had a 'friend' really cross with me today. I have declined a party invite because I will feel too uncomfortable, everyone going is a heavy drinker and I don't feel strong enough to be in that situation.

EFC well done for sticking to your decision!

I'm also staying away from social situations for now, I'm more of an at home drinker anyway so that's ok.

I was very set on no drinking when I first posted here, but I can feel my mind changing as Friday draws closer!

I've volunteered myself to work extra hours so that I'll not be home & tempted.

It's funny how your mind can change - I was so certain no more & now I can feel myself being persuaded to have a couple! It's like everything I've done drunk is being minimised & justified in my mind.

Thanks Georgina I always feel like I should drink because it's Friday.
I'm thinking of going to an AA meeting tonight- any advice would be welcome- do I just turn up?

@efc1878

You can turn up or ring the helpline (google AA UK) and someone could escort you.
If you do turn up, please tell someone it's your first meeting.

You will not regret going - it's worth an hour of your time