Hi All,
I haven't posted in a while, but I'm still here, still reading the posts...
I'm here to share where my journey is at with regard to dumping the drink in the hope it might help someone else, or at least give a little support and encouragement to those in their early days - I know I leaned very heavily on this page in those early days.
I'm a little over 600 days sober - and I can now say that out loud without feeling like it's a dirty secret - I AM proud of my 600 days and am looking forward to reaching 700 and then 2 years - because it IS something to be proud of.
I am now a lot happier telling people that I have 'chucked the drink' - that's still the phrase i use most often. If pushed for a why I mostly say it was getting silly and I chucked it - 99% of the time that's enough info and people drop the subject - it's a big deal for us, but not so much for others... A couple of people have pushed further - did I have a problem? was I getting into fights? (yes, was asked that), is it forever? are you an alcoholic? And i just repeat the 'it was getting silly and I chucked it' - it no one else's business and that's the end of - if they want to put two and two together and get seven that's up to them!!
I had a mental wobble recently - not drink related - where I would say I was followed around by a big black cloud (metaphorically speaking) for about a week culminating in me sitting on my sofa in tears. And I did think about my previous relationship with the booze, and how, in a previous time line, I would have hit the wine (2 bottles minimum) and gone to bed for the rest of the weekend. But I just didn't want to this time around, I knew it wasn't going to help - it would just make things 10x worse. So i had a good cry (and accepted that feeling like that was OK) and took myself off to bed for a sleep - the cloud didn't entirely dissipate, but it did shrink. Sleep is my friend.
It feels a little like that Monday morning feeling - 'i don't want to go to work' - but I go anyway because it's what we have to do..... 'I want to get very drunk and black it all out' - but I don't because it's what I have to do... I hope that kinda makes sense, in a warped sort of way. I dare say the temptation to throw a 'sicky' will come, but hopefully it will go just as quickly.
It has got easier, even when I thought it wouldn't. I've gotten tougher, and less tolerant of 'bad people' because I now value myself... I'm worth more than being poorly treated and I can justify standing a little taller. I have chucked the booze and that makes me (and you) awesome - I don't care how ridiculous that sounds - I have chucked the booze and I am awesome!!
We are the counter culture - embrace being someone else's weirdo and order another elderflower presse, or chocolate milk or whatever you want today....
Onwards, ever onwards!!