Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 18

890 replies

vxa2 · 07/07/2017 09:16

Link to old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2841743-DRY-17

OP posts:
gingergenius · 19/06/2018 00:00

Ok. Will seek help elsewhere.
Thanks.

vxa2 · 19/06/2018 11:28

ginger come back or PM me - don't go elsewhere. Thanks

OP posts:
Rosewinehunt71 · 01/07/2018 14:41

Don’t know how to deal with today 39 days or so have passed AF and today I’m really struggling without any wine even AF wine I can’t be bothered with cos I know I just want the real thing just feeling so unmotivated and wish I didn’t feel like this! Anyone else having one of ‘those’ days? xxx sorry xxx

failagainfailbetter · 01/07/2018 22:56

Hi Rose. Sorry today's been a struggle. Any idea what it was about the day that made it hard? Hope you stayed AF. Fail

Rosewinehunt71 · 02/07/2018 21:30

Hi Fail sorry you were struggling also yesterday I had couple sips of fosters and stopped so extremely pleased it wasn’t a bottle of wine I think I always class Sunday and drinking day but it just crept on me as hasn’t been an issue till yesterday. Hope you’re ok and thank you for the message x

Captainladder · 04/07/2018 14:54

Hello all. Even though its super quiet on this board, (which maybe is a good thing as it means less people struggling with being AF?) I'm posting (again!) to officially declare my day 1. I've given up before - was on here in 2016 and had a run of 8 months. Dont really know why I started drinking again, and although it hasn't been anywhere near as heavy, I still cant do moderation and am just fed up of feeling foggy, tired, anxious, lethargic and grumpy with the kids who are super high energy. I dont really like starting things mid week - (bit OCD!) BUT have just realised that its the 4th of July, which seems like a good day to declare my independence from alcohol :)

steadyonnow · 04/07/2018 22:08

Hello all . Just had to post to say I have managed a whole year AF. And Captain I decided to stop on 4th July too, as it was memorable. I don't want to go into too much detail about my past drinking, just to say it was a very difficult and chaotic 20+ years. Alcohol really ruled my life for so long. When the time was right, though, it just seemed right to give up. Keep going everyone, and keep this vital thread alive.

Captainladder · 04/07/2018 22:22

steady congratulations Flowers that’s brilliant! Feeling very pleased with myself as I bumped into some friends this evening and got talked into going to the pub with them... and had a lovely evening with NO BOOZE!

rose how are you doing?

Captainladder · 04/07/2018 22:23

I have to say though- pleased as I am the thought of not drinking is quite anxiety inducing. But I’ve done it before and so I know I can do it again.

lizzytee · 12/07/2018 07:06

Can I rejoin? I was a regular in 2016 and 2017 and over the last few months have slid back into drinking again. I don’t like it and feel the wine witch behind every day. Day 1 again?

Captainladder · 12/07/2018 09:34

lizzytee it’s quiet on here at the moment! Do it! I’m feeling much more resolute now :-) xxx

failagainfailbetter · 12/07/2018 15:40

What an achievement steadyonnow, congratulations! I'd be interested to hear of any unexpected benefits of sobriety you've noticed?
Welcome lizzytee Smile the days will soon mount up. Nearly 200 for me and, as I hoped it would, stopping drinking was the first domino to fall in a sequence of positive changes for me. I feel I'm just getting started really but I feel strong and capable of anything! When drinking too much i felt weak, hopeless and afraid. No way to live.

lizzytee · 12/07/2018 20:49

Thanks both - quiet is ok and the moderation/reduction threads don't work for me.

Well I've had a hectic day - work, childcare falling through so fitting work around that. Music lesson - crap because I hadn't practiced enough because I've had a wine head a lot lately. Now need to work some more.

But I'm sober Smile

lizzytee · 12/07/2018 20:50

Congratulations steadyonnow! 200 days is awesome.

Captainladder · 13/07/2018 07:15

Morning! lizzytee what instrument do you play? I’m feeling exhausted already and I only just got up! Lack of sleep the night before I think.

Went out last night -dinner with a group of friends. It was a lovely evening and I honestly didn’t mind not drinking. I think my mentality has shifted much quicker this time, to sober being a positive lifestyle choice and not self imposed suffering. It does help that my friends all know I have quit drinking and are supportive.

Have a lovely day everyone it’s FRIDAY!

lizzytee · 13/07/2018 07:27

Morning captainladder!

I play the piano- started 4 years ago from scratch. Still got a long way to go but I enjoy it.

Thanks all for support yesterday. I went to bed and am all the better for no wine last night. DH arrived home about an hour ago from a 5 day business trip so all's good.

Amazonfromkent · 13/07/2018 14:08

Hi all, day 1 for me. I've been a heavy/binge drinker for over 25 years. 44 now, and tired of throwing my life away and paying to be poisoned, sick of being embarrassed for my actions and words, and equally sick of my whole individuality and personality boil down to "she likes a drink". That's all people can probably say about me although I work full time and brought up a son on my own. I've done horrendous things, have lost jobs and friends and partners over drink. Enough. Not going to feed the demon within anymore. Go me!

Captainladder · 13/07/2018 14:29

Go Amazonfromkent! I always think our perception of ourselves is a lot more harsh than the reality of what people actually do think of us. Bringing up a son on your own and working full time must have been really hard, if you can do that you can totally give up the drink! xxx

lizzytee · 14/07/2018 14:48

Welcome Amazon. A good day for day 1!

BGJ43 · 24/07/2018 17:12

Hi All,

I haven't posted in a while, but I'm still here, still reading the posts...

I'm here to share where my journey is at with regard to dumping the drink in the hope it might help someone else, or at least give a little support and encouragement to those in their early days - I know I leaned very heavily on this page in those early days.

I'm a little over 600 days sober - and I can now say that out loud without feeling like it's a dirty secret - I AM proud of my 600 days and am looking forward to reaching 700 and then 2 years - because it IS something to be proud of.

I am now a lot happier telling people that I have 'chucked the drink' - that's still the phrase i use most often. If pushed for a why I mostly say it was getting silly and I chucked it - 99% of the time that's enough info and people drop the subject - it's a big deal for us, but not so much for others... A couple of people have pushed further - did I have a problem? was I getting into fights? (yes, was asked that), is it forever? are you an alcoholic? And i just repeat the 'it was getting silly and I chucked it' - it no one else's business and that's the end of - if they want to put two and two together and get seven that's up to them!!

I had a mental wobble recently - not drink related - where I would say I was followed around by a big black cloud (metaphorically speaking) for about a week culminating in me sitting on my sofa in tears. And I did think about my previous relationship with the booze, and how, in a previous time line, I would have hit the wine (2 bottles minimum) and gone to bed for the rest of the weekend. But I just didn't want to this time around, I knew it wasn't going to help - it would just make things 10x worse. So i had a good cry (and accepted that feeling like that was OK) and took myself off to bed for a sleep - the cloud didn't entirely dissipate, but it did shrink. Sleep is my friend.

It feels a little like that Monday morning feeling - 'i don't want to go to work' - but I go anyway because it's what we have to do..... 'I want to get very drunk and black it all out' - but I don't because it's what I have to do... I hope that kinda makes sense, in a warped sort of way. I dare say the temptation to throw a 'sicky' will come, but hopefully it will go just as quickly.

It has got easier, even when I thought it wouldn't. I've gotten tougher, and less tolerant of 'bad people' because I now value myself... I'm worth more than being poorly treated and I can justify standing a little taller. I have chucked the booze and that makes me (and you) awesome - I don't care how ridiculous that sounds - I have chucked the booze and I am awesome!!

We are the counter culture - embrace being someone else's weirdo and order another elderflower presse, or chocolate milk or whatever you want today....

Onwards, ever onwards!!

untilthatday · 25/07/2018 14:01

Hi please can I join this thread? Hope my post is ok and not triggering for anyone, I haven't read the whole thread so not sure on etiquette.
I woke up this morning on the floor by my front door in a pool of (my) vomit.
I had to take the day off sick from work and it's a new job so really not good.
I was recently woken by my lodger and her small children when she found me on the sofa with my face in vomit.
I haven't even cleaned the floor as feel too unwell.
I don't do this regularly but it has happened enough times recently for me to be worried.
Of course I also have the post-binge guilt and anxiety which in turn brings depressive symptoms.
My kids come back from their dad's later today and I have to get the house and myself back together.
My dad is an alcoholic, an actual street drinker.
I had a huge problem with alcohol in my twenties and thirties then got it completely under control then recently had some real life stressors and I have arrived at the not giving a fuck stage as I'm struggling to cope with real life. I don't want to be waking up in a pool of vomit not remembering how I got home, it's really frightening.

failagainfailbetter · 26/07/2018 07:34

Hello until and welcome. That does sound very frightening and dangerous. Well done for recognising that it needs to change. Do you have any real life support you can draw on? You sound very low - getting sober will help so much with this. Hope today is a better day for you.

BGJ43 · 26/07/2018 08:32

until I didn’t have the vomit, but would often wake up with bruises I couldn’t account for, and it is scary...

But deciding you want to change it is the biggest step... and you can, I promise you can - you are stronger and braver than you think!

Today is a new day, and for now the sun is shining Smile

untilthatday · 26/07/2018 09:32

Morning guys. Thank you for responding. I didn't really realise how bad it actually is untill yesterday. I have vague recollections of being in a kebab shop but nothing else , in real life I'm a vegan so no idea what I was doing there, whether I was alone or even if they served me. I was in a summer dress and sandals and I have no idea what time it was but I was clearly vulnerable
Still feel awful today and it's the first day of the holidays.
I have zero real life support. My very best friend has become a very active alcoholic following several years of trauma so we drifted apart.
I have a lot of friends but nobody really close and I have actually no family nearby. My distant relatives are distant geographically and emotionally.
Just so many things happening at the moment, I'm completely overwhelmed. It's like every area of my life is taking a huge battering and I'm trying really hard to hold it together. Work, money, really shocking family news which has rocked my world, upcoming court case (tribunal), some recent weirdness re an ex which brought back lots of heartache, a fling with someone I am really fond of but lives too far away. I ended it for good reason but it upset me, just general panic and I'm being a twat by drinking too much and doing stupid things to make myself feel better but it doesn't. I'm trying really hard to keep it together and to get through the storm.
I also have disabilities on top of this so had chronic pain and fatigue. I certainly can't afford to lose whole days and nights due to alcohol!
I don't know how to Cope and really know that alcohol can't be my crutch, I'm lucky in that my kids' dad is a supportive parent otherwise I'd be screwed!
Phew sorry long post! What a lot of whingeing, I need to get it out though!

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 12/08/2018 12:25

Dropping in here to call ... anyone around??!

I’m a long time DRY poster - was very active here a couple of years ago, but the thread seems to have gone quiet since... where is everybody?!

I’ve had a bit of MN break since my life settled into sobriety; I split up with my DD’s dad, got together with an amazing new fella who completely rocks my world, and been concentrating on building that new life.

A couple of months ago tho I was diagnosed wth breast cancer - and am now doing chemotherapy, to be followed by surgery and long term medication.

It’s prompted me to get back on MN for the amazing support threads here, and also to pop my head back in here and say - you sober warriors CAN DO THIS. I have now been dry for 1,191 days - through a massively acrimonious relationship breakdown, work stresses, mental health issues following years of ill health, and now cancer... and do you know? None of it would have been any easier had I still been drinking, and my life today right now is sooooooooo much better...

So Flowers to all of you, wherever you are on your sober journey. Much love to vxa, Hadron - and all lurking sober warriors Angry Bird