Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 18

890 replies

vxa2 · 07/07/2017 09:16

Link to old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2841743-DRY-17

OP posts:
BGJ43 · 11/02/2018 12:06

It might be quiet at times, but there’s always someone here..... Ive yet to see a call for support go unasnwered, so welcome one, welcome all...

I’m still muddling my way through what feels like newly found sobriety, despite it approaching 450 days, but now starting to wonder if some of the ongoing ‘symptoms’ are actually the start of the menopause - joy! So keeping an eye on that too.... but sure as sh!t that won’t be helped by a drink either...

Life is better, life is sober!!

Enjoy, embrace....

Grasse · 11/02/2018 12:28

Thank you both for the warm welcome. Smile.

I did look at the Brave Babes and some of the other threads on here, but deep down I know that not drinking alcohol at all is the way forward for me.

I read the Jason Vale book and everything fell into place, although I know I can't be complacent Brew.

Farmerswife36 · 12/02/2018 21:43

The bubble hour won't work ???

PeanutMacaroon · 12/02/2018 22:08

Hello everybody. Hope you don't mind if I join in! Day 1 over for me today, am tucked up in bed and have spent a few hours reading the whole thread. I managed about 19 days without a drink about a year ago, but since then have only managed perhaps 4 days of no booze at a time. After the Christmas season, it had crept up to perhaps only having Monday off, some weeks I didn't even manage that! I'm on ADs for depression and anxiety, but have realised that they won't work all the time I am making the anxiety worse by drinking! Anyway, thank you all for sharing your stories, you have given me inspiration and I am looking forward to the rest of my life - sober StarHalo

vxa2 · 13/02/2018 14:12

Try this link www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour

X

OP posts:
vxa2 · 13/02/2018 14:15

Welcome peanut !! Well done for reaching out. Although this board can be quite quiet the support here is amazing and there's always someone around if you're struggling or just need to vent.

Have you got any support in real life ? I was just like you - my record before this time around was 16 days. Keep posting Smile

OP posts:
PeanutMacaroon · 13/02/2018 17:53

Thank you Smile day 2 and still strong! Am sipping raspberry cordial whilst dinner cooks. No real life support, people have heard me say "never drinking again!" too many times. I am hoping to sneakily stop drinking by avoiding social occasions (we recently moved, I don't have any friends nearby) for the time being. DH drinks as much as if not more than me, and has no desire to stop from what I can tell. But we do egg each other on, so as long as I stick to my guns (so determined), then I should be ok. He knows I am trying to lose weight, so I will just blame it on the diet. I will keep posting, hope everyone else it keeping it together ThanksCake

Farmerswife36 · 14/02/2018 21:38

The links work but it seems to take forever for the podcasts to start ? Even when I have 5g it's taking over 5 Mins of loading before the stories will start ?

CatherineCawood · 17/02/2018 21:32

Hello all. Been lurking for a couple of weeks now so thought it was time to say hi.

I'm on day 13 AF today. I decided after a particularly heavy Saturday night 2 weeks ago today that enough was enough. Had the horrors big time on the Sunday, was supposed to run 14km at 8am but that didn't happen. I actually went out and did it after lunchtime but it was hard! Currently training for a half marathon. Also, I've recently had a breast cancer scare, I have bad family history and I know that the link between BC and alcohol is v strong so it's another box ticked in the list of reasons to give up.

I don't think/consider myself an alcoholic but maybe I'm kidding myself. I probably drank 4 maybe 5 nights a week, sometimes only 1 or 2 vodka and diet coke sometimes a whole bottle of wine, sometimes both. The last evening of drinking I drank about 8 shots of vodka and half a bottle of prosecco. I threw the rest away in disgust the morning after.

I really think that as a nation our attitiude and ideas about alcohol have changed so much in the last 20 years or so. I don't remember my parents drinking at home unless they had dinner guests. They never drank alone and rarely went to the pub, we used to go maybe once or twice a year on holiday. It is so normal now to drink daily, so accepted.

I saw a natropath a few years ago and we were talking about alcohol. He made a comment that has stayed with me ever since. He said, that if he had come home from school on a Monday and his Mum had opened a bottle of wine they would be pretty much calling her an alcoholic or carting her off in a straight jacket! It's true, 40 years ago it would have been so socially unacceptable to do this, now its pretty much the norm.

I've just finished Mrs D is going Without, today I've started The Sober Diaries.

I had a copy of the Jason Vale book but I leant it to someone and they never returned it. I might buy it again as it was pretty good, easy reading and he is quite inspiring. I've met him, a friend knows him quite well, he speaks a lot of sense about booze. I don't agree with all he says but some of it is pretty good.

Last night I went to Waitrose and bought some alcohol free Bavarian wheat beer, it is really nice. I've also bought some craft sodas to have. I would have never have drunk them before, all the sugar etc (didn't seem to bother me that alcohol is full of sugar!) but they are delicious. The fentimans rose lemonade is delicious. I had a mocktail at dinner in a restaurant this week which was also really really nice. Decent glassware and ice etc makes it feel grown up and nice.

My DH says I shouldn't think of it as forever, one day at a time. I'm a bit of an all or nothing person though at times. Think he is worried he is loosing his drinking buddy! I'm hoping my giving up will make him think twice too. He drinks more than me and has less AF days. The last 2 weeks he does seem to have slowed down a bit which is no bad thing.

Anyway enough of my ramblings! Hope everyone is doing ok tonight.

tryingtobethebestican · 25/02/2018 10:36

Hi @CatherineCawood well done and I hope you are doing ok, I am also an all or nothing type of girl, especially when it comes to wine. I must try the sodas you mentioned.
I'm already worrying about going it for mothers day because we always share wine and I know my mum and sister will expect me to and I don't want them to know I have a problem. I need a back up of something tasty to order.

tryingtobethebestican · 25/02/2018 10:41

Hi @vxa2 I've tried to follow your blog but when I put my email in, it says that you are not accepting email subscribers. What do I need to do?
Also I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award, I tried to find you via the Wordpress app - reader - but I couldn't so here is the link
sunraintea.com/2018/02/24/Versatile-Blogger-award/

CatherineCawood · 27/02/2018 16:33

Thanks for your reply trying I'm doing ok. I went to the pub for lunch on Sunday after running my first ever half marathon. So was in a celebratory mood. I managed not to drink though and have been fine ever since. Day 23, £67 saved apparently.

I'll keep plodding on. You ok?

tryingtobethebestican · 28/02/2018 18:56

I'm good thanks @CatherineCawood well done you for completing your first half marathon that's brilliant 😀
Happy to say this will be day 58 without any alcohol so that makes me feel good. Apparently I've saved £331!!! 🙀🤗

CatherineCawood · 28/02/2018 20:10

£331!!! Wow sounds like such a lot bit it adds up so fast doesn't it! What you going to buy yourself?

GavinFromTradingStandards · 28/02/2018 23:34

Can I join please?

vxa2 · 01/03/2018 15:35

Hello to the newbies. Everyone is welcome here. The Board can be quiet though. We probably need to try and post more. A couple of years ago it was really busy. I was 700 days sober yesterday and this board was a huge source of support and really kept me going. Some come on ladies we can do this. 🙂

OP posts:
CatherineCawood · 05/03/2018 16:47

700 days. Well done vxa2. I'm day 29 today and feeling fine. Started to tell a few more people now. So far so good.

BGJ43 · 05/03/2018 17:06

Hello...

Yes, a lot of information and support...

Got caught in the snow getting home last week and did muse during the 4.5hrs it took me to get home that in a previous lifetime I would have been more stressed out about the prospect of not being able to acquire a bottle of wine than actually getting home safe...

So getting home and having some peanut butter hot chocolate seemed reward enough...

We are stronger than we think, onwards

Saywhen · 28/03/2018 12:40

Hello.
Just wanted to bump this as took ages to find - in case people want alcohol support over the Easter break, holidays and family get together or no family.

I have my 150 days af next week. Really pleased. Very much feel I want to live a life without alcohol but I am impulsive and so I have to be careful and keep working to finding new ways to relax, de stress and give myself a break. I find this very hard.

I hope you are all well wherever you are in your journeys.

tryingtobethebestican · 04/04/2018 12:57

Hi just checking in too hope everyone is doing ok. Well done saywhen on 150 days that's brilliant! I'll be 100 days next week. I hope everyone that wanted to managed to stay strong over the holiday. It is tempting every now and again just to have maybe one glass but I think that would send me back to where I was at before, which I don't want to do. Hope everyone enjoyed the Easter weekend. 😊

BGJ43 · 04/04/2018 15:33

KOKO....

Millionairesshortbread1 · 10/04/2018 09:35

Hi, very early days for me. Day 3 but I’ve been a very heavy drinker for around 3 years 2 bottles of wine a night, before that a bottle a night shared with my husband. It just sneaks up overtime. Nobody but me knew how much or how often I was drinking (I think). I’ve known I needed to address it for a long time.
Went on the Allen Carr seminar and so far I feel great, looking forward to a life I and my family deserve.
It’s such early days so I’m going to keep reading the back posts on here to keep me on the right tracks.
Just wanted to say thanks for all your inspirational posts.

tryingtobethebestican · 10/04/2018 10:28

Hi @Millionairesshortbread1 it's scary how easy it is to get into the habit isn't it and how it just creeps up on you. Well done for getting to Day 3 😊 I was drinking at least a bottle a night - weekends sometimes 2 but decided for my health and life I needed to stop. It does get easier I'm on day 98 which I never thought I'd get to!

Millionairesshortbread1 · 10/04/2018 22:04

Thanks Tryingtobe, I’m impressed nearly 100 days that’s wonderful. I’ve spent most of my evening reading about being sober and am inspired by having so many things to look forward to.

Fontella · 12/04/2018 10:36

Hi Folks,

I'm joining this thread again. Have been on it at various times over the years.

Long story short I have had a long and complicated relationship with wine across several decades. I have had periods of abstinence - in recent years, nine months, five months etc. I did 'Go Sober for October' last year and carried it on into November - so was dry for about 6 weeks on that occasion, but then went on a weekend away - drank again, and have been drinking ever since, building up slowly.

Over the Easter period I got through four and a half bottles of wine in a week - just me at home and I got to the point when I thought 'enough'.

I always feel so much better when I don't drink, I lose weight (I lost about a stone during October / November - put it all back on again now though). I drink with food - so my treat is always to cook myself a nice meal and accompany it with a 'glass' of wine - which of course, is always a bottle of wine - sipped while I'm cooking, sipped while I'm eating, and finished off afterwards. So that's my 'treat' to myself and I pack on the pounds. I gave myself lots of treats over Easter - starting on the Thursday night when I finished work and did a big 'Easter' shop in Aldi - where I stocked up on wine. By the following Wednesday it was all gone!!

So after that, I just felt shit, fat, bloated, digestive problems, poor quality sleep etc. so last Thursday I decided that was it. I am now on Day 8 of being dry and already I am starting to feel so much better again. Sleeping better, less bloated, eating better, and trousers already looser, more productive at work too - I am self employed so time is money and when I'm feeling tired and shit, my earning capacity drops and it affects my income and finances.

I really want to see it through this time. I don't need wine, I'm not dependant on wine - I've just got to break that cycle of 'treating' myself - through booze and food. I don't just want to give up for a few weeks or a few months - I would like to give up permanently. Just have a life without wine in it. I don't know how realistic that is, but that's how I feel at the moment.

I would have spent around £20 on wine over the last 8 days had I been drinking, so I am going to transfer that amount of money into my savings account today and do the same every week - so I can also see some tangible financial benefit from packing up.

So that's my story. Wish me luck!