Anyone else with a narcissistic mother?

[IDoDaChaCha]

Are you still in contact or no contact? What are the worst things theyve done/said? Would like to hear your experiences x

Oops sorry that was very long!

I can also remember at primary school always preparing a tray with a cup of tea, biscuits and vase of flowers from the garden for her for when she got back from parents evening because she would always say they said I wasn’t good enough and I’d get punished for it...I always take mine to parents evening now and tell them how proud I am that they’re working hard, it’s all I wanted and needed.
Would love to know what was really said about me.

I have one too. My leaving home present was a typed list of all the items she’d spent money on while raising me. Food £x per week, clothes £x per week, school books £x per week etc. all typed up and neatly totalled. She printed it out, left it on my bed for me to find on my 18th birthday and write “it wasn’t worth it” at the bottom. It still reducing me to tears when I think about about it.

I don't care what my NM thinks but because she is involved in mine and DD's life (she spends weekends with DD)

It's more her becoming more involved in our daily lives re living closer and getting her feet under the table emotionally. Now I know this sounds harsh but, she won't live forever. She's nearing 60 and has had some health problems. While she's still around I've decided to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight and take her help with childcare, the house and just be happy and contented when she does pop her clogs

Lady, watch the fuck out for her stealing your daughter.

She isn't even 60 and unless those health problems involve something terminal, she could live another 25 years - which is more than long enough to steal your daughter.

You know her, we don't, but given how she thinks you're pretty well worthless, you're playing a dangerously risky game giving her access to your daughter. Feelings of hate like yours don't come from nowhere. She's earned them. She doesn't seem safe.

Frankly I also think you're using her and that is not a good thing.

This doesn't cause any real problems between us because it's my DD she is interested in, not me

@fatbottomedgirl100 that’s too awful
I’m sorry she did that to you

The two worst things my mother did to me in amongst preventing contact with my father, strangling me almost to unconsciousness, and blaming me for her golden child sibling sexually abusing me -

telling me as that I kept sleep walking and she believed I would kill everyone in their beds so she had to tie string from my door handle to the bannisters so she could hear me getting up in the night. Cue a fear of going to sleep at night in case I slept walked well into adulthood especially when I had my own DCs (and horrendous OCD).

while discussing my worry about a long awaited ASD assessment for DS2 after years of issues at school, she told me there was nothing wrong with him and his issues were due to my shit parenting. He was the only one of my 4DC with behavioural issues. When I stood up to her and told her I must have learnt my parenting from her, she refused to speak to me for 6 months so I was disinvited from a brother and sisters wedding. She disowned me entirely when I refused to apologise . DS was diagnosed as being on the spectrum with severe learning difficulties shortly afterwards. Still question myself now years later.

Sorry her golden child, my sibling.

I believe she tried to make me believe/make others believe I was nuts/a psycho to keep me quiet about the sexual abuse after it was discovered, together with physical abuse that made me terrified of her. Couldn't have it getting out that her perfect family had a shameful secret.

Takes my breath away, the length she went to for her own self preservation.

Thank you x

I'm in contact with mine but it's very superficial and limited, I never divulge anything important, personal or about my emotional or mental wellbeing!

Worst things she's done are, when I was going through a rough patch with DP and mistakenly sought comfort from her, she told me he's probably just fed up with me because I'm a crap girlfriend and selfish etc.

Also told me my anxiety and panic attacks which I used to suffer from quite severely were all my own fault because I was selfish and ungrateful to my parents?! I had 'no right to be anxious' and offered me no support whatsoever.

I spent a year working and saving when I was 18 to go away travelling. She had seen me plan and save and get excited about it all. A week into my trip, out of nowhere, she emailed me a list of all the ways in which I was a terrible daughter and how I better start planning for what I'm going to do when I get back. Spent the rest of my 3 month trip feeling guilty and upset and dreading going home. It was like she deliberately wanted to sabotage my happiness.

I have a golden child younger brother and she will openly discuss the ways in which he's better than me. Then if I try to defend myself I am 'bitter' or 'mean'. Unfortunately me and him barely speak anymore because of this whereas we used to be really close.