Babys dad planning me to miscarry

[Winsister]

I need advice.
My Friend with benefits and I conceived a baby, I was in love with him until he stated he wanted me to have an abortion and also bought [text edited out by MNHQ] to cause me to have a miscarriage.

He has done numerous internet searches on what would cause miscarriages.

How do I make sure he Doesnt have anything to do with our baby when its here.
I'm 10 weeks atm and I'm very scared he'll try and poison me and my baby.

I am in no delusion that 'he will change his mind'
We BOTH didnt use any contraception, I was on a new antidepressant and came off the pill to be less emotional.
He always knew.
He also knew that I wanted another child, still didnt stop him.

If when the baby is here he wants to see it then I will not stop him, but I 100% believe he Doesnt want any contact.

I can't move as I rent and dont have the money for more deposits etc.
I did not get pregnant on purpose as I am not like that.

You 100% believe that now but people change, you've seen a change in character recently yet you still don't seem to understand that. Living opposite him is just going to make things worse.

You should wind your neck in defending holds fatdogs, for a start.

Hilda

Oh come on. How can you say that you didn't get pregnant on purpose when you chose to have sex without contraception?
That he also chose to is irrelevant.
You've been pregnant 5x in your life so not fertility issues and with 3 kids you can't be 16 and believe some nonsense like doing it standing up stops you getting pregnant...

You wanted another child. You wanted more than FWB. You didn't bother with contraception.

And surprise surprise you're pregnant.

Doesn't change my advice though - if you think this arsehole intended to make you miscarry, you need to speak to the police.

You think you don't have the money to move, but as you can afford another baby, surely you can find it?

I would personally find it a bit of a priority not to live opposite a man who had plans to poison me.

OP. Tell him you've naturally miscarried. Tell him you want to finish with him, ask him not to contact you again, change your number, possibly move away and don't put anything on social media.

That's what I'd wish I'd done with my ex

@krispiesquare the guy lives opposite her. And she can't afford to move. Going to be difficult to hide a pregnancy in those circumstances.

PyongyangKipperbang women don't have to have an abortion for their kids. Women are people in their own right even if they have kids.

Blackstars "Why do women do this to themselves???" Stop trying to guilt this woman into an abortion. How fucking ludicrous, 'this poor baby'. What are you saying, she should have an abortion for he sake of he baby because this is what his shit slackard wants!

Think it through! The OP has come here for support!

fatdogs " The real victims in this mess are her existing children and the forthcoming child." Yes, how dare a woman want to keep the baby she is pregnant with!

"OP is determined to keep the child to fulfil her personal wants."

Your thoughts are really very dark. Being willing to have an abortion for the benefit of others is not a normal stance for women.

... for the sake of the baby because this is what this shit slackard wants!

Sorry my 't's are failing!

Ellis "Oh come on. How can you say that you didn't get pregnant on purpose when you chose to have sex without contraception? That he also chose to is irrelevant."

How is what the OP does relevant and the same thing the man does not relevant?

If they did not want to get pregnant they were both irresponsible. But now she is pregnant she gets to choose what to do next. That's how it is. Because she is pregnant. If men are so worried about getting a woman pregnant there are a lot of things they could do to avoid it happening!

Good luck OP with whatever happens next, please keep your kids away from this man, he is awful.

He has actually gone out and purchased 2 vitamins that cause miscarriage

There aren't any, so I wouldn't be too worried about that.

And you can't pretend you didn't get pregnant on purpose, you chose to use no contraception and you wanted another baby. Of course it was on purpose!

We BOTH didnt use any contraception, I "was on a new antidepressant and came off the pill to be less emotional.
He always knew.
He also knew that I wanted another child, still didnt stop him.

I just can't imagine how this conversation would go.
"I've had to come off the pill btw
And you do know that I actually want another baby?"
"Well I don't so let's have unprotected sex anyway"
The whole scenario just doesn't make sense to me.
If you're worried he's going to poison you just keep away from him. He can't poison you if you are not anywhere near him.
And as for contact. You say you don't want to him to be anywhere near you or your baby. Then in the next post you say you'll let him have contact if he wants.

I did not get pregnant on purpose as I am not like that

Of course you did and clearly you are.

Also against abortion personally, as I have 3 other children and suffered 2 miscarriages years ago

I have 4 children and suffered 9 miscarriages and would absolutely have an abortion in these circumstances. You don't want to and that is absolutely YOUR choice but as least be honest with yourself.

Please, do go to the police and report that he's bought some vitamins. Let us know how it goes

I did not get pregnant on purpose as I am not like that

ha ha bloody funny of course you did.

You said you were in love with your FWB - thats against the 'rules' he was never even a BF but you so want his baby - only oops he doesn't.

You are so hoping he will come round it's so obvious. But unfortunately as you aren't going to chase for maintenance (until that is the only contact you can get) but UK taxpayers will fund this poor child.

@italiangreyhound calm down no one suggests that she doesn't have a choice about what to do about the pregnancy. We all know the choice lies with her. But ooatwrs are saying to consider the repercussion and ramifications on her existing children a d this unborn baby and make a decision. If she still decides to keep the child, then she needs to be fully aware that this man can change his mind and can make court applications despite what he says and presents bow. And it WILL affect her and her children. At this pint OP seems very willing to take this man at his word but yet thinks he is capable of a serious crime. I think OP is not telling the whole truth.
Taxpayers will not fund this child probably as no new claims can be made for a third child and being under the new benefit rules I thi k? But that doesn't mean the child will not be negatively affected. So many selfish adults. And so many blameless children. And we must cast no judgement

fatdogs I am perfectly calm. Just disgusted that anyone would try and talk a woman into an abortion for anything other than a medical situation.

"But ooatwrs are saying to consider the repercussion and ramifications on her existing children a d this unborn baby and make a decision." How would you imagine this unborn baby's life would be better if she aborted it?

I perfectly understand women have a right to chose not to continue with any pregnancy, so in that situation I support a woman's right to choose. But having decided to keep it how would that baby's life be improved by being aborted?

To suggest the best option for her existing children is to abort her baby because the biological father is a fuckwitt, is beyond crazy. Yes. it is a shame there is a biological link now between the OP and this man, but that is how it is.

"I think OP is not telling the whole truth." Well Sherlock you may be right, but I think, with respect, the OP is going to have to work that one out. Lots of people have offered some good advice. She has come here specifically because she does not want to abort her baby. So suggesting it will be better for her, her children, or her baby if she does, seems to be playing right into the fuckwitt's hands!

"So many selfish adults. And so many blameless children. And we must cast no judgement"

Seems plenty of people are having no problem casting judgment.

@Italiangreyhound it is irrelevant that the father also didn't bother with contraception because he isn't the one here saying he is "accidentally" pregnant.

Of course it would be relevant if he were also here saying he didn't want to create a pregnancy.

Going ahead is the OP's choice - of course it is.

I just think it's utter bullshit to post on here that the pregnant wasn't deliberate. You don't bother with contraception, you are making a deliberate choice. An exception I suppose if people aren't of full mental capacity - perhaps in a manic phase when bipolar. Otherwise, they're either trying to get pregnant or just plain thick. With 5 pregnancies under her belt, OP is hardly thick, with regards to the equation of sex + no contraception. = likely to get pregnant.

Op, intentionally getting pregnant to a neighbour and fwb who clearly doesn't want a conventional romantic relationship with you, doesn't want children with you and believed you were on the pill was never going to end well.

Of course he thinks you've done it on purpose because you've fallen in love with him and want to bind him to you.

People saying he should've used his own contraception are being a bit disingenuous, at some point over your three year relationship he trusted that you were taking the pill.

Don't worry about the vitamins - it's panic, and there are no vitamins that induce miscarriage anyway.

Stay away, let him calm down and think this through. Ultimately, he will be financially responsible for this child for 18yrs and it will be hard for him to resist contact too as you live in close proximity. My guess is he will have some involvement, you can't stop that really, although it will ultimately be hard for you raising his child and watching him build a life with the inevitable future partner.

Thinking laterally OP he is already changing his will to exclude your child and is trying to harm you to prevent a live birth.
Neither of these actions are normal or rational.

I would suggest it would not be a step too far to consider petrol through your letterbox would resolve his problem.

I would contact the police as a matter of urgency to get this on file and consider a restraining order if possible.

I am sorry if this alarms you but you need to protect yourself and other children from someone who is not thinking logically.

I think you need to go to the police, i vaguely remember a case recentlyish where a man was prosecuted for attempting the same thing.

Honestly you need to go to the police to protect yourself, and your baby. He sounds desperate and if he gained your trust later in your pregnancy he could try it again

This has been one of the most sensible responses to this post by RainyApril... and I have indirect experience of it... one of my friends had two children under the same circumstances as the OP and both have ended disastrously... her oldest daughter blamed her (her mother was a sl*t for being a fwb) and needed counselling due to the fathers rejection and the youngest is having to grow up without a father.... just because one person has feelings doesn't mean the other person will because the get pregnant... the children are the ones who suffer because of the adults selfishness.....

Op, intentionally getting pregnant to a neighbour and fwb who clearly doesn't want a conventional romantic relationship with you, doesn't want children with you and believed you were on the pill was never going to end well.

Of course he thinks you've done it on purpose because you've fallen in love with him and want to bind him to you.

People saying he should've used his own contraception are being a bit disingenuous, at some point over your three year relationship he trusted that you were taking the pill.

Don't worry about the vitamins - it's panic, and there are no vitamins that induce miscarriage anyway.

Stay away, let him calm down and think this through. Ultimately, he will be financially responsible for this child for 18yrs and it will be hard for him to resist contact too as you live in close proximity. My guess is he will have some involvement, you can't stop that really, although it will ultimately be hard for you raising his child and watching him build a life with the inevitable future partner.

God the responses on this thread are vile

Hectoring the op for not wanting an abortion is vile. Defending a man who would quite like to cause the woman carrying his child to miscarry is vile.

I truly hope you have some source of real life support op. I'm sure you didn't come on here to hear this level of bile. Actually, I hope you've hidden this thread and found some source of positivity elsewhere

Some of you posters are just horrible

Please conact the police and tell everyond you know, can you stay with someone temporarily until you feel safer?

I'm not sure how interested the police would be in a man researching feeding pineapple to his fwb because he doesn't want a baby.

He's furious, he feels misled, he's terrified, he's saying horrible things so that op considers an abortion because he simply doesn't want a child and/or to be tied to this woman for life.

To those suggesting poison or petrol through the letterbox, I think he's vile but I don't think you can necessarily jump to those conclusions.

Op, tell the police if you think he intends to harm you and back off. Let him work his way through all of the inevitable emotions and decide whether he will step up or disappear.

I don't think you're a completely blameless victim but he has no right to threaten you, and I hope you both come to an amicable agreement once he's come to terms with it all, for your baby's sake.