Husband liking Facebook pics

[WS12]

Just want someone else's opinion really. I don't want to be the scary obsessive jealous wife with rage!

Basically I have noticed my hubby (married 8 years this year) has been 'liking' my friends Facebook pictures- I know nothing major, he can like what he wants etc etc. She is an absolutely gorgeous girl and a good friend to me, but my hubby doesn't really 'know' her, only as my friend. She puts the typical selfie pics on of her with hair and makeup done, pouting and posing etc etc. These are the pics my hubby is liking, just the selfie pic "how gorgeous am I" type thing, nothing else in the background or doing anything. I'm finding it really pissing me off and I feel like not talking to him because of it. A few years ago he liked some pictures she had posted of her in her underwear on her bed I said "you shouldn't be liking pictures of my friend in her underwear" he acknowledged what I said and he said "ok I'll stop" like he knew really my husband should not be 'liking' my friend in her bra. But now he's liking these selfies and photos of her on nights out etc. Anyone else ever has this? It's so hard not to feel jealous.

Im resentful really I think too as years ago before our two kids I always spent ages doing my hair and makeup and had money for nice clothes. Now things have changed I'm lucky to wear my hair down once a week always tired and busy with the kids, hardly any me time. I just feel like asking him if he doesn't fancy me any more just tell me, I'd rather know. I also feel like he's married to his phone, something I have told him about as I think it's having an effect on our relationship. Anyone else been in this situation? I'm only 29 😤

A few posters have asked if he likes others posts/pics too but I can't see your answer. It's fine to tell him this is making you unhappy but I think you should tease out why first. Is he liking her posts more than anyone else's or are you focusing on her's because of your dynamic with her? or because you feel insecure? Is it about your confidence or because you're feeling neglected in your relationship? You can ask him to stop liking pics but if you've not addressed the underlying issue then it will just manifest itself in different ways later.

Another that thinks it is disrespectful. If there is nothing in it why go to the effort of clicking the Like button. He finds her attractive and isn't scared that you know it.

Get all dolled up, strip down to your undercrackers, get some selfies of you writhing around on your bed, and watch the Likes roll in.

Your husband should be totally fine with that.

As a non accusational "in" for the conversation you might want to have a conversation about whether you think your friend posing in her underwear on social media is appropriate. That may bring him on side without too much prompting.

Misogynistic bullshit.

Like other people I think that the 'meaning' of this depends totally on what else your husband 'likes'. IF he 'likes' every post it's meaningless, if he singles her out it's creepy and disrespectful.

I had similar a few years ago. I sneakily took her off his friends list. Problem solved!

Hugely disrespectful.

Haha Mischa, that's what I was thinking too.

Assuming it's innocent and she's an acquaintance he won't even notice.

But I also think the OP should delete her too. She's sounds a right dose.

(And it's not misogynistic to say that - I'd also unfriend any man posting selfies in his budgie smugglers)

Eugh, creep and totally disrespectful both to her and you as friends, I can't believe folk are saying it's A ok, it's not, it's embarrassing for you.

I have absolutely no idea whose pictures my DP likes

Bleurgh, how embarrassing. Apart from anything else, how uncomfortable for the woman whose pics he's liking! Tell him he's
making a dick of himself.

I really dislike seeing attention seeking pouty pics on fb. One of my closer friends (one of my bridesmaids) is terrible for it. There is a new photo with her hair/makeup done and posing most days. Always accompanied by a self depreciating comment ; I'm so crap at doing makeup/still look ugly or something similar. If it wasn't that it would be a photo of her (flat) belly with a caption about how fat she is. In the end I just clicked to hide her posts, im still her friend but the constant pity party/attention seeking was starting to make me lose respect for her. If you don't want to go full-on removing as a friend you could just do that. Then you won't see the "likes".

Only you know your DH, and what your boundaries are. Personally I'd probably be quite annoyed with my DH if I noticed he was consistantly liking "glamorous" photos repeatedly from a particular woman, however my DH is not much of an extrovert and doesn't do flirting, so it would come across as very out of character for him. Some of my friends husband's on the other hand are very outgoing and can be flirty (as can their wives) and I have seen them liking these kinds of photos. It doesn't bother their partners.

I don't think there's a clear cut "right" or "wrong" way to feel in this scenario. Its your marriage and your boundaries. If you're uncomfortable with it then it is not ok.

Personally I think stepping away from social media or hiding her poats would be a smart thing to do. Best of luck.

I don't get how it's embarrassing because I'd bet £1000 that nobody else has checked what he's liking. Why would anyone care. And I don't feel "uncomfortable" if a man likes my picture (not that I post pouty or underwear shots you understand!) because o assume that, as he's my friend, he just thinks it's a nice picture.

The Facebook like thing is, as I've said before, not the issue here. It's the OP's feeling of low self esteem and the lack of attention and support she's getting from her DH

It wouldn't bother me and it doesn't bother my boyfriend if I like pics of other men with their shirt off or the like.
I don't even check what he likes on social media (mostly insta, don't really use fb) and I don't think he checks what I do.

I agree it's probably more to do with how you feel about yourself and not getting attention from him, so definitely speak to him about that and make sure to set aside some pamper time.
You could ask him to stop liking her pics, but then won't you just think he's still looking at them, just not liking them? And isn't the bigger issue that he's looking at them or is it because other people will see he's liked them?

But if you read the OP, her OH doesn't even know this woman, she is not his friend, that's creepy.

I agree though that it probably bothers you more because he is giving you zero attention or respect; tbh, it would annoy me besides, there are areas you just don't go to; esp with your partner's friends, it's inappropriate at best.

He likes other things too, and pics of other friends dressed up for nights out, he doesn't like every single one of her pics, just some. I think a few posters on here and making it out to be more than it is - according to some myhusband of 8 years is about to run off with my friend 😂! I don't think it's going to go this far. I think I'm just embarrassed by it all.

Anyway thank you for your input. I'm going to sleep on it for now as he's away tonight and don't want him to leave on an argument. I'll see how it goes.