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Relationships

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Original poster

Husband liking Facebook pics

91 replies

WS12 · 19/06/2017 01:42

Just want someone else's opinion really. I don't want to be the scary obsessive jealous wife with rage!

Basically I have noticed my hubby (married 8 years this year) has been 'liking' my friends Facebook pictures- I know nothing major, he can like what he wants etc etc. She is an absolutely gorgeous girl and a good friend to me, but my hubby doesn't really 'know' her, only as my friend. She puts the typical selfie pics on of her with hair and makeup done, pouting and posing etc etc. These are the pics my hubby is liking, just the selfie pic "how gorgeous am I" type thing, nothing else in the background or doing anything. I'm finding it really pissing me off and I feel like not talking to him because of it. A few years ago he liked some pictures she had posted of her in her underwear on her bed I said "you shouldn't be liking pictures of my friend in her underwear" he acknowledged what I said and he said "ok I'll stop" like he knew really my husband should not be 'liking' my friend in her bra. But now he's liking these selfies and photos of her on nights out etc. Anyone else ever has this? It's so hard not to feel jealous.

Im resentful really I think too as years ago before our two kids I always spent ages doing my hair and makeup and had money for nice clothes. Now things have changed I'm lucky to wear my hair down once a week always tired and busy with the kids, hardly any me time. I just feel like asking him if he doesn't fancy me any more just tell me, I'd rather know. I also feel like he's married to his phone, something I have told him about as I think it's having an effect on our relationship. Anyone else been in this situation? I'm only 29 😤

OP posts:

Original poster

WS12 · 19/06/2017 08:24

Yea it's crossed my mind to say something like "you're always liking ..... photos aren't ya? I'll have to watch you when we go home" and make a joke, see what he says...

OP posts:

Intheknickersoftime · 19/06/2017 08:33

Just unfriend the silly cow. She sounds fucking awful. And if you're going to travel all the way to the other side of the world to see friend and family don't spend a minute of that precious time having a night out with her. Jesus, she lives on the other side of the world! Get rid of her and tell your husband to grow the fuck up!

Hothothotsummer · 19/06/2017 08:38

Now you say she is the other side of the world, she's not exactly a threat is she?

Having said that, I don't think his behaviour is appropriate and I would tell him.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/06/2017 08:38

I think the Facebook liking is armed herring.

I think the issue is the imbalance in your marriage where you're running yourself into the ground looking after everyone except yourself while he's focused elsewhere (his phone). Something needs to give.

Intheknickersoftime · 19/06/2017 08:41

An armed herring?

pigeondujour · 19/06/2017 08:48

I wouldn't be ok with my partner liking any woman's posed selfies, let alone my friend's. Obviously unless there was a reason for the selfie like, I dunno, "I'm so happy I got my braces off today" with a big smile, or a picture of her and the dog on a nice walk, or something. An underwear one I'd be fuming!

Agree with taking 10 minutes to look good for yourself, not him.

Bluntness100 · 19/06/2017 09:09

Does he like other people's pics or just hers?

Huskylover1 · 19/06/2017 09:09

This has "fucking disaster" written all over it.

You have a friend who is posting underwear pics on FB (who the fuck even does that?) and a DH who is drooling over, and liking the pics.

I'd ditch them both, to be honest. But then I'm a hardened old bitch, who has had far too many piss takers in my life, and I can just see how this shit is going to play out.

Snoop his phone.

fwiw, I had a DH like this once. And a slaggy best friend. Guess what? They ended up fucking. Get eyes in the back of your head.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/06/2017 09:11

Yes an armed herring. They're the dangerous kind. Much worse than red ones

Fairylea · 19/06/2017 09:11

I'm surprised some people would be okay with thier dh liking those kind of pics. I would not be happy at all! (And my dh would feel the same if roles were reversed).

LoveDeathPrizes · 19/06/2017 09:13

It's not nice. Sounds like this is the icing on the cake. Doesn't feel good when OH invests a lot of time in strangers rather than you. I would imagine that's the real problem. Feels like he has a choice of where to focus his attention and it isn't on you. Don't get too bogged down by the photos as they're just symptomatic but do carve out some phone free time together.

OnionKnight · 19/06/2017 09:15

fwiw, I had a DH like this once. And a slaggy best friend. Guess what? They ended up fucking. Get eyes in the back of your head.

I think the few thousand miles between them might be difficult to get round.

I've thought about this some more and I take back most of what I originally said. If my wife was liking pictures of Facebook friends in their underwear I wouldn't like it and I'd be saying something, maybe not in a confrontational way at first depending on my mood but in a WTF are you doing in a jokey kind of way.

NataliaOsipova · 19/06/2017 09:16

An adult woman posting selfies in her undies for their friends husbands and all the world to see sounds like an attention seeking twat.

Exactly.

Original poster

WS12 · 19/06/2017 09:21

Yes I told him later time about he underwear one,'I told him straight as I was pissed off and he totally got it, didn't even defend himself or anything.

I'm going to let it lay for now and talk when he gets back from training in a few days. I'm positive he would never cheat on me, but even an action to be liking my friends pictures show casing how gorgeous she is ✋️Nah.

OP posts:

ems137 · 19/06/2017 09:37

I don't agree with a lot of previous comments. I would find this highly disrespectful, whether it was a real friend or a model/pop star. It's like he is publicly acknowledging that he fancies your friend. If he finds her attractive that's fine and normal but what I find totally unnecessary is that he feels the need to tell her, and anyone else who can see the likes!

I would have already mentioned this to my DH, I wouldn't have been able to keep quiet and let it upset me for long. I would never consistently "like" one of his friends pictures and certainly not posing ones, it's disrespectful.

Thinkingofausername1 · 19/06/2017 09:42

If he doesn't interact with you too on Facebook I would be concerned. If he likes your photos and interacts with you as well as her then that's fine. There is no reason to feel jealous but I do know how you feel in this situation. Try also not to obsess over it because it will drive you insane and cause a wedge (speaking from experience)
Perhaps you two could have a girls night out and take photos of both of you x

Huskylover1 · 19/06/2017 10:29

I'm positive he would never cheat on me

His actions say differently.

SuperSkyRocketing · 19/06/2017 10:31

I totally agree with huskylover1. Ime men liking women's "I'm gorgeous" selfies on fb is a slippery slope. Liking can lead to messaging and before you know it you've got an emotional affair on your hands.

I wouldn't be happy at all.

SuperSkyRocketing · 19/06/2017 10:32

I wouldn't be happy at all.

Lottie991 · 19/06/2017 10:40

I wouldn't be happy with this I see it as really disrespectful particularly him liking the underwear one.
I don't think you necessarily need to fix yourself. Yes find time for your self to take care of yourself is always really important being a mum, But I do think your partner is wrong here.

HarmlessChap · 19/06/2017 10:45

I've a broad group of Facebook friends due to sports I've done or do. Some of them are young women who post selfies, change profile pics etc. I don't "like" those posts purely as my wife doesn't like me doing so. I can like similar posts from male friends but not females. If I post a pic with the pair of us is ok if females have liked it but a selfie, new profile pic or even just a status update if it's liked by a female and I'm asked "who is so and so?" I find that behaviour somewhat controlling but I'm used to it.

Intheknickersoftime · 19/06/2017 10:55

Harmlesschap, we'll start your own thread then if you find it controlling?

pigeondujour · 19/06/2017 11:00

Better yet: don't.

Onecutefox · 19/06/2017 11:00

Definitely inappropriate behaviour by your husband. I bet your friend enjoys it as well otherwise she would have blocked him.

HarmlessChap · 19/06/2017 11:02

Just highlighting that there are two sides and if he feels that he is made to feel that he mustn't "like" things because it fuels his partner's insecurity that has the effect of being controlling. Our marriage is in repair at present, there is a lot to work on but progress is being made.

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