Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can I ask what you would think about this?

93 replies

clearwaters · 18/06/2017 07:28

Sorry it's a bit graphic.

First time having sex, with an older boyfriend aged 22 at the time and I was 16.

Makes you undress and lie down on the bed. Looks at you all over and touches your breasts and says they are nice but then touches your pubic hair says 'but that has to go.'

Is that creepy and odd?

OP posts:
Original poster
clearwaters · 18/06/2017 09:52

I'm worried about saying too much and I needed to find something to test the water with

OP posts:
UndersecretaryofWhimsy · 18/06/2017 09:53

What would happen if you said too much?

It's obvious that there are a lot of serious issues in your relationship. Have you been able to discuss this with anyone else?

Original poster
clearwaters · 18/06/2017 09:54

No, not really. I just feel exposed somehow.

OP posts:
HildaOg · 18/06/2017 09:58

I don't find anything odd about wanting to remove the pubes. It's no different from shaving under the arms. I've told men they need to shave if they want to go any further with me. I don't want a mouthful of hair. It doesn't mean you're into kids ffs.

As for the age gap... You were both young and legal. Men take longer to mature than women so females often identify with those a few years older and males with those who are a bit younger.

ptumbi · 18/06/2017 10:09

OP do you think your dp has a preference for pre-pubescent girls?

Original poster
clearwaters · 18/06/2017 10:10

It has. Crossed my mind.

Then I think I am ridiculous.

OP posts:
HildaOg · 18/06/2017 10:14

What makes you think that? There has to be some evidence (not what you've already written) or you're having other issues and you're just looking for an excuse to demonise him.

ThanksMsMay · 18/06/2017 10:16

It wasn't standard for women to have no pubic hair 15-20 years ago Hilgo. So nothing like arm pit hair. Not that it would be his place to say she had to remove it anyway Hmm

If you prefer it when going down that's your prerogative but to demand someone be bald while criticising their body is different.

ThanksMsMay · 18/06/2017 10:17

me evidence (not what you've already written) or you're having other issues and you're just looking for an excuse to demonise him

Do you know the op personally? Because you're making a pretty big assumption. Looks a bit weird on your part

RandomMess · 18/06/2017 10:21

Did you look particularly young at 16, in looks or body or both?

tccat · 18/06/2017 10:25

Have you found something that worries you? Or is it that one incident that been playing on your mind
It hard to advise based on that one incident alone, but if you found evidence of any other suspect behaviours then that paints a very different picture

HildaOg · 18/06/2017 10:28

The Brazilian was the fashion 15 years ago. Which is a tiny strip. And it's weird to assume that he must be into kids because he told his then girlfriend the pubes had to go.

Unless he's eyeing up teens or behaving in a manner that suggests interest then the wife is making it up so why. If there were genuine reasons for concern, she would have mentioned them already.

Original poster
clearwaters · 18/06/2017 11:16

Well you obviously know all about it hikda

OP posts:
aida234 · 18/06/2017 11:25

i was told that i was 16weeks pregnant by the doctor..so i am confused by who could be the father of the baby because i had and unprotected sex with my ex on the 20 of febuary and on the 21 of febuary with my husband so who can be the dad. because with my ex we tried having a baby but nothing happened but as i slept with my husband i got so fast pregnant so i was told that i was 16 weeks pregnant on the 6 of june

HildaOg · 18/06/2017 11:25

So I take it that your only reason to imagine that is something he said to you years ago based on a pubic fashion? Be very careful making allegations that can be proven malicious op. Judges in family courts go very hard on that now.

C0RAL · 18/06/2017 11:27

You are obviously unhappy in the relationship, as you say you are only staying for the kids.

Do you want to say more about what's troubling you ?

aida234 · 18/06/2017 11:30

i was told that i was 16weeks pregnant on the 6 of june so i am not sure of who is the baby of my child because i had an unprotected sex with my ex on the 20febuary and the 21 febuary with my husband that was my first time sleeping with my huaband and knowing him so i think his the dad because with my ex we tried having a baby but nothing happened so who can be the father pls reply

C0RAL · 18/06/2017 11:30

Hilda, stop trying to bully the OP into ignorning her own feelings and concerns . This is not a court of law, it's an anonymous thread on the internet. She can talk about it if she wants.

HildaOg · 18/06/2017 11:36

I'm not trying to bully her. I asked her a question which she didn't answer. If she decides he's a kiddie fiddler based on a 'feeling', dumps him and tries to use that in court she will lose her kids. It's not kind to encourage that.

I feel more sorry for the guy who's possibly facing having his reputation slandered based on a comment he made decades ago.

aida234 · 18/06/2017 11:36

can any one help me by answering my message

Original poster
clearwaters · 18/06/2017 11:40

hilda is probably right in a way - I can't prove anything.

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 18/06/2017 11:44

Aida234 you need to start your own thread.

BengalGal · 18/06/2017 11:45

Aida you need to start your own thread. You can't know who is the father for sure until the baby is born and you do genetic testing. Or they can do it a couple months before it is born, but then there is a slight risk of miscarriage as they have to get cells from the amniotic fluid. It would be easier and cheaper to wait. It's more likely your husband but no way to know for sure now.

aida234 · 18/06/2017 11:47

start my own thread how bertha

Emboo19 · 18/06/2017 11:50

Similar age gap to me and my boyfriend Op, I was 16 he was 20/ 21 when we first slept together.
Going on what you've written, I'd find it odd. Being older and more experienced my boyfriend was very focused on me being comfortable and sure of what I wanted. Despite the age we've always had a very equal relationship.