Paying for sex

[Gunsnrosesxo]

Hi all.
I was just curious as to how many husbands or boyfriends are into paying women for sex (prostitution).
I once caught my husband messaging an escort and payed the deposit to book her.
But he swears he didn't go but I don't believe him as I saw the messasges.
I don't know how common this is or isit only him?

Need help.

Hopefully a small minority but I doubt it.

In fact, it's not just prostitutes.

One of the only times I punched someone was when they offered me money to sleep with them.

Wtf?

Get rid. He won't change, he'll just get better at hiding it.

My experience of this as a man is that those that are more likely to do it are the blokes who seem to love their mates and their blokish antics more than anything. Stag do's, lads trips etc. Trying to impress mates. I know people who have and it's probably more common than people would hope but it's definitely a certain type for me. I know someone in the army too who is pretty high up and he said it is quite common in the forces too.

I found out last year that my friend's husband had paid for sex twice.

He's literally one of the last people I'd have thought would use prostitutes - if you lined up every man I've ever met in a room, he'd be in the bottom 2% of likely candidates.

I've known him for decades, he has a v v high-powered, executive / managerial job, three academic degrees, donates to charity, voices a lot of feminist opinions.

Before this, I'd have thought that it was a minority of men, probably no-one I'd ever met. This taught me it could literally be anyone.

My DP has never and would never, neither does he watch porn. He is a decent human being, no way I could live with that, what an arsehole.

P.S. This one has no 'blokey' mates and told no-one about what he was doing. So unlike the poster above, this wasn't to impress anyone or fit in. He just wanted to do it.

Oh my, if you haven't already please get rid!

I would definitely say the majority of men DO NOT pay for sex.

If my DP paid but then returned the deposit I would still leave him. The seed has been planted.

I'm a man, I've never paid a prostitute or escort for sex.

I'm an ugly git too, but never felt the need to pay for it 😂

"If you dump your dh over this you'll probably be hard pushed to find another man who hasn't/wouldn't use a hooker imo"

That's fine, she can become a lesbian then. Or be single.

Women really don't need to put up with shit men in their lives.

It doesn't actually matter how many men pay for sex/ beat their wives/ don't do the housework/ snore/ wear brown socks OP and how many women are prepared to put up with it. It's whether you are OK with it or not, that matters.

Lucie lue your last sentence is bollocks

I know several men who have used prostitutes. One was quite a geeky guy with a horrible attitude towards women. He treated his wife absolutely appallingly. Dp used to work with him. The others are the friends of dp's brother and are laddish types of the sort peabody mentioned. Several of them paid for sex while on dp's brothers stag party abroad. I'm not sure if his brother ever has but I really wouldn't be surprised.

Dp has never and would never pay for sex. If he ever did I would leave him in an instant. I know he wouldn't however, it really isn't him. Plus he has quite bad OCD and I don't think he'd be able to cope with the idea.

I should add - dp's brother and his friends also seem to have a horrible view of women, although in a less bitter way than the geeky work colleague guy.

Nothing - I left that category off my list but yes high powered well paid job types can be the same although many of these also fall into the laddish types. Obviously there will be exceptions but in my experience the worst ones have been the ones who seem to value their mates more than their wives and family. I once went on a trip with around 50 lads and around 25% slept with a prostitute who were either hanging around their hotel entrance or at a brothel. I was quite shocked at the time as they were all married but they were mostly laughing it off the next day like it was all a bit of a joke.

According to this 2014 Guardian survey, about 22%.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/sep/28/british-sex-survey-2014-nation-lost-sexual-swagger

Given the judgemental attitudes (many displayed effusively on this thread) towards buying sex, it's likely that the true figure is higher. I'd say one in three is probably about right.

I usually am a person with a lot of self respect and have a lot of pride. So still sticking by him isint something I would normally do but we're still v young and I will forgive once only. It's not easy but I'm trying to be strong.
but the second time I would not.
He says it was porn that was the cause of this not that it's an exception or whatever.
At least I know what to expect of him now because at first I was very shocked I did not think he was the kind of person at all.

He just needs to know how disgusting the thought of using a prostitute is and needs to learn to respect me.
If I don't see these changes then there wouldn't be any point in continuing.

A good friend is an escort and many men were in unhappy marriages, many sexless but some were single and just preferred sex with an escort (no commitment- safer sex etc)

It does not matter what other people's partners/husband do, does it?

Is it something YOU are comfortable with?

if not, you have a problem

I'm really cursious too as to why women choose to pick escorting as a job when there's so many other jobs out there ?

My husband has never and would never use a prostitute or pay for any kind of sex.

He has much better things to do with his hard earned cash and that's just not his personality.

I can't believe some people think this is so rampant, that you wouldn't find a man who didn't pay for it.

OP, once would be too many in my book. I say that as someone who adores her DP and the thought of not being with him makes me ache. I would still end it.

I'm really cursious too as to why women choose to pick escorting as a job when there's so many other jobs out there?

Lack of education.
Good money

Some women /men want the high life, but don't want to, or aren't able to do well paying jobs for the lifestyle they want.

at first I was very shocked I did not think he was the kind of person at all

The media like to portray men who pay for sex as either sleazy dirtbags, or wealthy arrogant wall street types.

The reality is that there isn't a "type" of man who pays for sex, just as there isn't a "type" of man who likes cycling, or a type who enjoys watching football/Top Gear/Bake Off or who plays Xbox.

My clients cross all social classes, all races and religions, all adult ages. I've had clients who are heads of for major international finance institutions, and clients who have part time jobs at Aldi. I have had a few incredibly lovely clients who I would cheerfully see for free (and one has been promoted to FWB status.) I have had a tiny handful who I never want to see again. But the vast majority, say 99%, just fall into the "average" category.

Leaving all that aside, it seems like he's still lying to you and minimizing what he's done. You might want to say to him that he either respects you enough to give you the truth, or you're done.

Blaming it on porn, LOL. The truth is, he wanted to fuck someone different and he didn't want the time or trouble of looking for a hookup for free, so he paid a sex worker. If he can't own up to that, and be realistic about the chances of remaining monogamous for the rest of your marriage, then I'd say adios.

There are some women who work as sugarbabies. Which is almost the same as prostitution.

They sign contracts to be in a relationship with a rich man, usually older and they provide sex essentially. Many do it to support their education, while in university.

It's easier than getting a job.

The sugar daddy lavishes her with money, pays her rent etc. Not bad, when you're struggling for cash.

Not that I've done it myself.

I'm really cursious too as to why women choose to pick escorting as a job when there's so many other jobs out there ?

I left a profession paying 36k pa, with a clear path of progression, because I knew I could more than double that doing sex work and would be my own boss. I decide when I work, where I work, how I work, and what clients I take. It's hard work, but it's rewarding - not just financially. When a disabled client tells me "You've made me feel like a human being again, not just a collection of symptoms" I feel like I've made a real difference to his life, in a way that I never could in my previous career.

In my previous corporate incarnation, I was selling my soul every day. Now I'm renting my body, and I feel like it's a win all round.