Margie well done. I think we know when we are ready to throw the towel in and now is the right time for you. You can do this. Alcohol brings nothing positive to your life really.
Think of it as a high interest loan - the more you borrow, the more you have to pay back. Yes, there are short term pleasant rewards - keeping those habits we love, not having to change anything, getting a quick fix for half an hour or so... erm, I think that's about it.
And then comes the payback. It's horrible and if it gets out of control, it's absolutely horrendous.
MIFLAW used to say that it was like getting in a boxing ring where you can never win. Alcohol will win every time. Always. How much of a battering do you want to take. How many times do you want to get into that ring and end up crawling out of it barely able to walk or breathe.
You cannot win the fight. The only thing you can do is stay out of the ring. Throw the towel in and end it. If you carry on as before there will be no different outcome.
Being AF is lovely. There is not one single thing I regret about not drinking yesterday and there is nothing I will regret tomorrow about not drinking today.
It's a gift, a treat, a treasure. I don't know why we rally against it when it's so very lovely. Sure, there are shit days. But drinking regret only makes the next day shit too.
I think the worst effect of drinking when you're trying not to is the emotional trauma. We feel so bad about ourselves, actually hate ourselves and say all sorts of horrible things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else - you're stupid, worthless, fat, lazy, no control, no self respect, you say horrible things which you can't even remember, look at the state of you, who would want to be your friend/family, etc.
We are harsh on ourselves and we really don't need to be. That's the alcohol talking. That's what it does to us. Love yourself, give yourself the absolute joy of waking up knowing that you didn't drink yesterday.
One day at a time.
So glad you came back Margie x