The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sweet, Summer Sobriety!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Battle Bus! We're a group of travelling drinkers of varying levels, those who are teetotal, and those who have tried so many times to stop, those are 'controlled' drinkers, but we NEVER give up and keep coming back for the support we share, and trying to get some kind of control over the Wicked Wine Bitch Witch!

It's not easy, boy, it's so not easy to stop or cut down some days. There are days when even the Bravest Babes fall into the Sidecar. And do you know what? That's okay.

There is NO judgey pants worn on this Bus and you don't have to be anyone other than YOU to join us

So, come and grab a seat, some Opal fruits, (it'll make sense eventually!)) and meet the rest of the Babes. Remember, you're not on your own, ever with us, you'll always have a Babe you can relate to.

Here's the last thread for you to catch up on if you like

And here's where the entire journey began.

Mouse xxx

1 more day Lily feels like a champagne occasion but will stick with a safer beer or nothing!

Good luck moon you can do it.
lily well done on 11'days. I am in awe of people who can rack up AF days. I have had one large gin and lime, and half a glass of red before I chucked the rest. Have had a headache on and off for 4 days now.

Ugh, perhaps the emotions are not as settled as I thought.

Got up this morning, went to a big effort to make a special breakfast for the family (we're on holiday). Dished up to everyone, was walking to the table, slipped on a wet bit of floor, bowl fell out of hand and smashed all over.

I felt like bursting into tears (not least because I was starving and hadn't even had time to make myself a coffee) but took a deep breath, cleaned it up and scraped together the last bits from the pan to make something of a bowl.

All the while DS (5), who has become an infuriatingly fussy eater in the last year, was picking at his bowl, whining that he didn't like it, and asking repeatedly "But why did you drop the bowl on the floor, Mummy?" Finally I lost my temper and snapped at him that I'd already told him it was an accident, did he think I threw my breakfast on the ground on purpose?!

Now lying in the bedroom feeling like a crap mother, disappointed that I didn't get to enjoy all the effort of cooking, and a little relieved it's the morning so at least I don't feel like turning to wine.

How did you all manage the seesawing emotions?

Aw, feel for you Lilly but don't worry, those things just happen. For some reason it always feels worse when you have made the effort to do something nice. Look after yourself - is there something nice you can do this afternoon (can't work out what time zone you are in but at some point, anyway!)

Day 6 now and not missing it at all, but I am away at a training course so alone. Of course normally this would make me hit the booze because I have no responsibilities as the kids are with my parents, but I am trying to get to the view that I should take responsibility for myself and try and impart some of the love and care I give my kids. So lots of exercise, good diet, and trying to sleep well. Though I haven't been able to get to sleep since being AF :( Sure this will work itself through but I am knackered!

Morning all. A rare day off so taking ds to Edinburgh for the day. When I say taking, I mean surgically separating from xbox, forcing into clean clothes and dragging....
It is so hard to occupy bored teens during the holidays.

Stayed home in the end and read my new book

Hello babes

I just wanted to ask if anyone has problems with blacking out?

I get black outs after say three glasses of wine. Is this normal?

Thanks

QuiteLikely5

I too have wine blackouts. It gives me the fear in the morning wondering what I've said/done.

Morning all,

yes the blackouts, it became frighteningly normal but it's not normal to blackout out if that makes sense, it's hardly a good sign after all. I had become used to big holes in my memory and it was a huge part of the reason I had to stop the wine - as Mint mentions the 'fear' is a horrible thing.

Hello, everyone! It's been a while. I see there's a few newcomers on the Bus - welcome one and all!

I've had a few tricky weeks with hankerings for gin and wine... but when it came down to it I really didn't want it. Some nice stuff too - a birthday meal out where my MIL had prearranged for me to get a special non-alcoholic birthday cocktail. That was cool - loads of fruit and stuff etc so it felt really birthdayish .

The thing is, I still "want" the gin and wine - or rather the mind-obliterating (yes, blackouts) effects - but then I totally don't at the same time. Life is so so so much better sober. More difficult at times, as I'm still learning how to deal with actually feeling stuff, but much better, more solid, more real somehow. But oh for the oblivion at times...

I can see so much why I was sucked into using alcohol to medicate my way through life. Life is hard!!! But it's even harder when you're nursing a mammoth hangover, right? Totally agree about the "fear" as well, minttobe and Lux. Ugh. I'm glad you posted about that as it's so easy to forget. I'll leave you with one memory from last year...

Waking up, the familiar sinking feeling of dread, the dry mouth, the thumping head. Going through the motions - getting dressed, getting everyone's breakfast, making packed lunches, dosing up with co-codamol and ibuprofen, feeling like shit. Trying to remember the day's work schedule, train to catch, run hand through hair - what? A huge chunk missing. No - must be a mistake. Try again. Yes, definitely. A huge chunk - what the hell? Moment of flashback but not quite able to join the dots. Sudden flash of scissors. Did I? Could I have? Could it just be the hairdresser last week? No a huge section missing from the front, must brush it over and no one will see. Pack bags, check phone is charged. Was I on Twitter last night? Don't forget to take your laptop to work. How to find out what happened? I find myself reaching down the side of the sofa where I sit every night to drink my gin and wine and gin... and pull out a handful of hair. Yes, I cut it off myself then blacked out.

Definitely better sober!!!

Why do blackouts become more common with less alcohol? I've noticed that. Sometimes I don't feel that drunk during the session but must have been if i can't recall.

I also have a chunk missing from Saturday night, but it must only be half an hour. I'm terrified I did something awful, especially because my friend hasn't responded to a text. My DH hasn't mentioned anything.

I don't have blackouts... but I have another question for you ladies:
Why is it that a few glasses of wine is SOOO much worse (the next day) than a few gins or beers?

Because it's the devils urine.
Sulphates I think is that answer.

Hey elf good to see you again

Home made Elderflower cordial with lemon and chocolate mint from the garden.
My fake Mojito. Worked a treat today.

That looks lovely mint. I have had a couple of glases of rosé so not doing very well.
Big interview on Thursday. Am really bricking it.

I don't have blackouts but I did used to have "brownouts" (hazy memory... i.e. could recall having a conversation, but not the exact details for what was said) after a bottle or so. That was bad enough.

Weirdly I find spirits much worse for hangovers than wine. More than a single cocktail or G&T and my head would be pounding the next day.

Your drink looks delicious, mint. Question: I've been trying kombucha recently, but just the other day read on the label that it may have "trace" amounts of alcohol in it. Apparently this means less than 1 percent. Do you think it is still legit if you are AF, or is it kind of cheating?

Good luck for the interview this week, ma. Have you been able to prep much?

What is kombucha Lily?
I've done loads of prep and am down to the last 4. Desperately want this job...

Looks lush mint

I reckon less than 1 percent is fine lilly - Some mouthwash probably had that!

Hi all babes - have just achived first AF day in a while. Drinking hot choc before bedtime and looking forward to proper sleep and no muzzy head in morning. Not quite virtuous though as tomorrow going to a cocktail-tasting evening!

Evening all, just checking in. Everyone sounds pretty chirpy tonight

Elf great post and great to hear from you. You continue to inspire

I am finally free Babes, just as I said a couple of months ago I am going to be (mostly) sober, sorted and single - hurrah! !

Congratulations lux on being free!

Mint that looks delicious!!

Day 2 af. Feel good today (but exhausted- looking forward to another night of good sleep.)

Hi 3rd af day this week. Terrible day, dd's birthday and I tried to make it nice for her. She's texting me all sorts and I'm dreading a phone call in the night that she's put herself in hospital. I went to the pub and drank tea. I feel bitter and tearful- sorry.

Well done lux - keep going now.

Hello to IcelandicWarriors, Unicorn, Crunchymum, grumpysquash3, stilllearnin and any new babes I've missed.

How are you doing now luxuary ? I thought of you in the bath last night ( not like that!) I made a lavendar, chocolate and oatmeal brown facepack. Twas lush.

Ma Good luck with the interview tomorrow! You deserve to get a lovely new job.

Yesterday I hurt my back picking blackcurrants in some freak getting up incident. It was bloody agony all day. Luckily for once, the sun was out, so after making jam I just sat around in the garden. It's not to bad today. I think it was also from lifting a 6kg weight over my head following a keep fit video on YouTube. 😕
I had to go to the gym Monday to cancel my membership. I now have no money left. So that's me stuck on the farm miles away from anywhere. This will be interesting. We were supposed to be going away on holiday this coming weekend but obviously is cancelled now. Pretty gutted really. I sunk the 'free' wine Sunday and felt rotten all day Monday. So AF starts now.
I just want a job.