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Original poster

Anyone else craving a proposal?!

89 replies

Tippitoesandbuttonnose · 12/06/2017 19:03

(Somewhat) lighthearted

One of my cousins has just sent round the text 'OH popped the question tonight, I said yes!'

All I want is to settle down but I know my OH would never think that the 2 years we've been together is long enough to proposeHmm

Anyone else on MN dying for their OH to propose? I swear I'm not jealous Wink

OP posts:
RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 14/06/2017 15:08

If you've been together for a while, have a house, dog etc and your partner hasn't proposed I just don't think they want to, (regardless of gender).

PrincessToadinTheHole · 14/06/2017 15:12

And everyone suggesting proposing to men on here is COMPLETELY missing the point. Women craving a proposal don't literally just want a proposal to happen. They want their partner to propose to them, so they feel/know that their partner wants a future with them, that the

You mean like someone actually standing next to you and swearing to be with you forever and then legally signing a contract to do so? That's what marriage is. A proposal isn't worth the ring he gives you. It means nothing. Literally nothing. It entitles you to nothing. He can take you to Paris and get a helicopter to drop a mime with a ring down to you and you still won't be married.

Boring old couple who discuss it like adults together and actually do it have made the real commitment to a future to each other.

All a proposal gets you is Facebook famous for a week

BertrandRussell · 14/06/2017 15:20

"They want their partner to propose to them, so they feel/know that their partner wants a future with them, that they're loved, that they've been chosen, that they're cherished."

In a way that choosing to be there, buying a house, having a baby, getting a dog won't?

NotWeavingButDarning · 14/06/2017 15:28

If you've been together for a while, have a house, dog etc and your partner hasn't proposed I just don't think they want to, (regardless of gender)

Boring old couple who discuss it like adults together and actually do it have made the real commitment to a future to each other.

Totally agree with both of those. I've never even remotely wanted to be married but I just do NOT get these people who sit around like cabbages wishing and longing for someone else to ask them. Just discuss it ffs.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 14/06/2017 16:08

BertrandRussell - Can you explain the difference?

Well, in one case you're legally married, with all the (many) rights that being legally married gives you, and in the other, you're not. Confused

I'm not saying that marriage is better than singledom or cohabitation. But they're massively different in law.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 14/06/2017 16:14

In a way that choosing to be there, buying a house, having a baby, getting a dog won't?

I don't really follow this argument. I'd have thought that all those things are a huge commitment, yes. But we see a LOT of men who will happily take those steps, and yet hesitate before the step of getting married. So, marriage clearly has SOME meaning. Some meaning that's big enough to make it daunting, or in some way bigger/scarier/less appealing than cohabition/babies/dogs.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 14/06/2017 16:19

Ehm...WHAT?? That's totally illogical! Why on earth wouldn't a man want those exact same things? Gender has absolutely fuck all to do with it confused

Gender comes into this issue because traditionally men do the proposing. That might be outdated, but it's still regarded as the norm that the man asks the woman to marry him.

Everybody knows that. So if the man desperately wants all those lovely things, why doesn't he ask? All those lovely things are just 4 words away, surely?

Yes a woman can ask. But let's be honest, these proposal threads are always women waiting for a man to propose. So I'd guess these were traditionally-minded women.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 14/06/2017 16:21

Please let's not get into the gender argument. Or let's agree to postpone it until we get a MN thread where a man is waiting impatiently for his girlfriend to propose to him. Then, I'll agree that it's a gender-neutral issue.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 14/06/2017 16:25

A proposal isn't worth the ring he gives you. It means nothing. Literally nothing. It entitles you to nothing. He can take you to Paris and get a helicopter to drop a mime with a ring down to you and you still won't be married.

Yes, agree 100%. And yet still the OP's bloke won't do it. How insulting must that feel.

BertrandRussell · 14/06/2017 16:29

"Well, in one case you're legally married, with all the (many) rights that being legally married gives you, and in the other, you're not. confused "

Ah. I was assuming that the women sitting waiting for a proposal were not also sitting and waiting to put legal protections for themselves and their children into place.

NoLoveofMine · 14/06/2017 18:37

Yes a woman can ask. But let's be honest, these proposal threads are always women waiting for a man to propose.

Which doesn't make any difference. The best approach to marriage is to discuss it and mutually agree but if one party is so keen and the other hasn't proposed, there's no reason the one who's keen could propose. It doesn't matter if "traditionally" men do the proposing - tradition is no reason to keep doing something and it's a ridiculous tradition grounded in the notion women are all desperate to get married and must wait until they're lucky enough a man deems them worthy of marrying him, dictating when that will be. Completely outdated (as with many "traditions" - it's "tradition" for a woman to vow to "obey" her husband when marrying but that's utterly ridiculous).

ElGatodelCanto · 14/06/2017 19:16

Getting married is NOT like buying a house or deciding where to go on holiday. Women have every right, as far as I'm concerned, to at least expect a meaningful proposal from the man they're (hopefully) agreeing to spend their life with. There is no way, I would have proposed you DH. Nor would I have wanted some bog- standard discussion about it either. Some things in life are special and why reduce everything to some boring, humdrum, insignificant nothing?

Men rarely propose totally out if the blue, do they? More often they have a pretty good idea that it's what the woman wants too - not that hard to gauge, especially if you're already living with her. So in that sense, it is a mutual decision anyway. I appreciate that DH had the consideration and initiative to ask me in a meaningful way. The fact he chose a ring, a time and a location and had thought about what he was going to say, showed me that he'd thought about it properly. It wasn't just some off-the-cuff remark or "yeah, might as well then". Life is made up of memories and if you can't celebrate the good bits, what is the point?

littlemissM92 · 25/06/2017 07:13

Well, I got one last week! So shocked and happy Grin I hope it follows for you op

Janeinthemiddle · 25/06/2017 08:15

For those arguing that OP should propose and not wait around like a woman in 1957, yes that's true but OP wants to be proposed to as mentioned, not wants to be married.

I repeat, OP wants to be proposed to.

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be proposed to. It's nice.

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