Decipher OH Text - I do not feel anything for you other than the love and affection that we have shared

[TornHeart]

OK so H and I have had issues a few months ago, we worked things out but now this text has left me anxious, I can't talk to him on the phone today and he's back very late from work. Please help decipher WFT he means!! It all came after a text where he's super proud of an event at our child's school this morning.

''I want to tell you that I love you very much. But now I see you with other eyes I want you to know that I will never never hurt but I do not feel anything for you other than the love and affection that we have shared many years, I do not see you with desire. Better you know these things. At the same time I can not imagine my life without our child and without you, you are the only ones I have.''

WTF it seems lovey dovey and then boom. I know obviously we need to talk about this but I just want someone elses perspective on this. Don't really want to talk to friends being that a few months ago we went through a bad patch.

He sounds a delight You would be better off without him! Have his bags packed on the door step and enjoy life with our the extra manchild around

He's got you very well trained. Resign.

See if you can muster the energy for a display of magnificent indifference.

Did you reply to the text yet? Is it too late for "No problem. I've packed your bags. They're in the porch. Lawyers can handle the detail."

Your relationship should not feel like a full time job. Yes it takes compromise and a bit of effort but that goes for both people involved. It should not be you tending to his every need and being left with nothing for yourself. Take care of yourself first from now on (and dc too). Pack him a bag and tell him to find somewhere else, he can stop in a hotel or b&b in the mean time. Do not let him back in your bed or to stay in your home.

Be kind to yourself as much as you can, it must be an awful shock

So you do all the housework and childwork, pay for everything and are still expected to give him sex every night?

Right.

And what does he do for you in return? Make you feel good, appreciated, wanted, valued?

Thought not.

I would go with Serf's text. Pack his bags, what happens to him now is NOT. YOUR. PROBLEM.
If you dont feel you can do that right now, and I wouldnt blame you as you are still in shock, then do nothing for him. No washing, cooking, cleaning up his shit, nothing. He doesnt get to share your bed. Any clothes/dishes etc he leaves lying around, put them in a bag and hand them to him to sort out.

You are not his slave. The worm turns today. You can do this.

Oh and if you have a joint account, take out every penny that is yours. Dont take any of his earnings if he has any, but take out all that is yours and arrange to have your wages paid into an account in your name only. He doesnt get to spend your money.

Oh OP, definitely LTB. He's vile and cowardly

Is he your child's primary carer? Worst case scenario is that you could end up paying spousal support and child support to this tosser. My advice, if he is primary carer is to put a stop to this asap - get your child in nursery/to a child minder.
Next step is to separate finances. This lazy arse needs to get a job - you don't want to be working full time while he blows your money on some ow!
He isn't making your life easier or better in any way. I cannot believe he dumped this on you by text, I mean wtf are you supposed to do with that info when delivered like that? He has no care for you.

Seek legal advice and get rid. Sorry OP but he is a shit

What a nasty, entitled, useless shit he is.

Jesus christ, your husband text you this?! Heymammy has it spot on, use her text reply. What a fucking arsehole!

How shit, to end it by text like this.

It doesn't sound like you're getting anything from this relationship... other than an additional person to take care of.

I think you'll find life so much easier without him.

He's telling you he doesn't want to be with you any more.

Well he wants to have deep conversations when its bedtime like 11pm...like when you're shattered and too tired to think...he wants me to be more active in the bedroom and seek him.we dont go wks without secual activity or anything but obs not enough for him..he was the primary carer as he earns mostly minimum wage and wasn't worthwhile paying nursery for him to work. He also looks after the dogs and does occasional jobs...hes now started working as our son is now at school he does drop off. I have no idea if there is currently OW because his phone is on super secrecy lockdown and he wont share details wirh me and I've not bewn bothered to turn into that level of mistrust to glue myself to his unlocking cause his pswds are darn long and its been like that for a year yet occasionally he sneaks into my phone cause i have nothing to hide. Did i say also he has always had female friends and i cant cause you know...im a woman... The whole time it's about what I'm not doing to keep the relationship alive but yet he critisizes me if for example food is not to his standards. Ive been locked into trying and trying but to be honest you're all right if he wanted so much to make things work hed have dinner ready when i got home so i could just concentrate on getting son to bed you know occasionally but he does that maybe every 6 months...you know the more i write the angrier i get.

Im sorry for the spelling mistakes...rage is making me type too fast

He's an utter bastard. Get everything lined up and ask him to leave. Make sure you've sought legal advice. What a crappy thing to do essentially dumping you by text.

You need to find more anger

You have been suppressing it for too long

I'm so sorry. Yes, you do know he has another woman or women. Your marriage is over. Don't reveal your hand. But gather all the information you can and prepare to tell him to leave. I'm so sorry. My last post felt a little blunt. Now that I have RTFT, I wish you all the best for the future.

Anger is your friend, use it.

He won't get better and his behavioural only get worse, no matter what you do, nothing will ever be good enough.

Take some time to get yourself in a good position, hide important documents, sort your finances out then, tell him to do one.

Just text back 'yeah, I dont fancy you either. When are you leaving?'

That rage is good. You need that. Hold onto it. Harness it.

You SHOULD be angry. You SHOULD be incandescent with rage. How dare he treat you like this?

Pyongyang raises a good point about not letting him have access to your money.

No man with a shred of decency or respect sends a text like this.
I could write a long response about why you need to find your self respect and leave this weak entitled man, but it's so obvious.

There's another woman. She may be pressuring him into committing to her, hence he's paving the way, who knows?

We can pick over the fine details and ignore the screaming obvious. Which is that any husband who is so cowardly as to send a text like that to his wife, is not worth fighting for. Sorry, but he does not deserve you.

Jesus fucking Christ
Get the fuckity fuck out

Definitely tell him you don't fancy him either, and you're happy he's mentioned it because it's time to part ways. How could you fancy him when he lazes around doing barely anything and can't support himself or the family either at home or at work. Hardly attractive is he?

Get rid. You're well off, your kid relies on you, and a childminder would do great wrap around school care without then coming at you at 11pm hoping for a shag. Imagine the freedom, the peace, of him gone.

Get, and hide, all important documents.
Get his bags packed and get him out.
Get yourself to a solicitor.
Don't do the 'pick me' dance.

It is truly awful. I'm so sorry.