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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Decipher OH Text - I do not feel anything for you other than the love and affection that we have shared

111 replies

TornHeart · 09/06/2017 13:44

OK so H and I have had issues a few months ago, we worked things out but now this text has left me anxious, I can't talk to him on the phone today and he's back very late from work. Please help decipher WFT he means!! It all came after a text where he's super proud of an event at our child's school this morning.

''I want to tell you that I love you very much. But now I see you with other eyes I want you to know that I will never never hurt but I do not feel anything for you other than the love and affection that we have shared many years, I do not see you with desire. Better you know these things. At the same time I can not imagine my life without our child and without you, you are the only ones I have.''

WTF it seems lovey dovey and then boom. I know obviously we need to talk about this but I just want someone elses perspective on this. Don't really want to talk to friends being that a few months ago we went through a bad patch.

OP posts:
SerfTerf · 09/06/2017 15:42

Wow Any that's certainly forthright Shock

Iamdobby63 · 09/06/2017 15:42

Sounds like he is saying that as you are all he has he will remain but is clearing his conscious for wanting to pursue someone else.

How dare he do this over text. Coward.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 09/06/2017 15:43

He's trying to 'soften the blow' of announcing he's leaving.

Cowardly .

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 09/06/2017 15:44

Ltb. Don't give him another minute of your time.

QueenofEsgaroth · 09/06/2017 15:53

LTB, what a cuntweasel.

HoldBackTheRain · 09/06/2017 16:01

Sorry OP Flowers

I echo what everyone else has said. And you didn't deserve to have that texted to you.

Hugs

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/06/2017 16:16

Sorry OP but I agree with the others. His head has been turned.

Either he is affair ready and when it happens he can say "Well you knew I wasnt happy" or it has already happened and he is rewriting history to justify it.

Either way he is a bastard and a coward and you deserve better. Dont wait for him to choose, get rid now.

Beelzebop · 09/06/2017 16:32

OP, I hope you are OK? You must be feeling very confused! X

Beelzebop · 09/06/2017 16:32

OP, I hope you are OK? You must be feeling very confused! X

Original poster
TornHeart · 09/06/2017 17:07

Hi all and thank you everyone for your views...unfortunately it's not me overreacting and you all agree with me...i need energy to even give you guys a full history but tbh this is a big slap on the face. I've been the main breadwinner forever...its another full time job when i get home cooking dinner every single night and clearing up and dedicating time to my little one (as per other mums often feel guilty about working) and dad is ridiculous expectations of having full blown attention at 11pm and i cant do it every day... every other say yes but i get up and get little one ready in the morning all he has to do is effing get himself up and take him to school....not to mention that yes the prob a few months ago was OW...that js another post...i wish i could give him the attention he obviously craves but i cant do it every day it almost feels like 3 full time jobs and i dont think i have it in me to do more than what im trying...

OP posts:
Bungleboggs · 09/06/2017 17:09

You need to think about what's right for you and your child! He sounds horrific. You deserve so much better

TreeTop7 · 09/06/2017 17:14

He needs to be kicked into the long grass, OP

I'm so so sorry.

AnyFucker · 09/06/2017 17:20

Christ Almighty, give up trying to enslave yourself to this fuckwit

You are doing the Pick Me Dance (google it) and already been set up to fail

Get shut of this using twat and your life will be infinitely better

SerfTerf · 09/06/2017 17:25

You think giving the attention he "craves" would turn him into a nice human? It wouldn't.

I'm sure you can do better than him.

lilybetsy · 09/06/2017 17:27

Get rid. Honestly. You don't see it yet but you a worth SO MUCH more than this useless arse.

get rid. get some therapy and don't get involved with another man until you wonder not "Am i good enough for him? " but "Is he in any way good enough for ME"

seriously.

lilybetsy · 09/06/2017 17:29

And why would you want to have sex with a lazy disrespectful wanker like him ?

pinkyredrose · 09/06/2017 17:29

Why would you give him attention when he doesn't give you any and looks elsewhere? Why doesn't he cook, is there something wrong with his arms?

NoSquirrels · 09/06/2017 17:32

He hasn't gone up in my opinion, OP.

Stop trying to make him happy - it's not your job to please a man, or to lavish attention on him.

If he's stupid enough and selfish enough not to realise that his wife working a full time job and supporting the family financially & doing the domestic drudgery = shit sex life as unattracted to lazy arse then there's no hope for him.

AdalindSchade · 09/06/2017 17:33

By attention do you mean sex?

Original poster
TornHeart · 09/06/2017 17:34

You are all so right and I'm so tired of trying to keep all balls in the air

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/06/2017 17:35

No big surprises here that he expects op to open her legs whether she feels like it or not

AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 09/06/2017 17:38

Jeez you really do sound better off without xxxx

Adora10 · 09/06/2017 17:38

Stop now OP, he's actually given you permission to stop holding all the balls in the air; you can't possibly do anything more for him now, not after this; he's either already fucking someone or wants to and is cushioning it for you but wants you there doing all the domestic shit. What a cruel, self centred bastard to put that all in a text.

Bye, bye is the only two words I'd be saying to him.

Keepithidden · 09/06/2017 17:39

I revise my previous opinion. So sorry OP.

heymammy · 09/06/2017 17:41

Text him back "good, I'm glad you feel that way as I'm fucking sick of being the one keeping this family afloat. We will talk tonight about where you're going to live from now on and access to dc."

Cunt. Cowardy cunt at that.