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Relationships

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Original poster

Decipher OH Text - I do not feel anything for you other than the love and affection that we have shared

111 replies

TornHeart · 09/06/2017 13:44

OK so H and I have had issues a few months ago, we worked things out but now this text has left me anxious, I can't talk to him on the phone today and he's back very late from work. Please help decipher WFT he means!! It all came after a text where he's super proud of an event at our child's school this morning.

''I want to tell you that I love you very much. But now I see you with other eyes I want you to know that I will never never hurt but I do not feel anything for you other than the love and affection that we have shared many years, I do not see you with desire. Better you know these things. At the same time I can not imagine my life without our child and without you, you are the only ones I have.''

WTF it seems lovey dovey and then boom. I know obviously we need to talk about this but I just want someone elses perspective on this. Don't really want to talk to friends being that a few months ago we went through a bad patch.

OP posts:

LazySusan11 · 09/06/2017 14:28

What an absolute bastard to send that sort of thing by text. So much disrespect.

alltouchedout · 09/06/2017 14:34

What? What is that? I would be insulted to be thought stupid enough to swallow that. Tell him to stick it.

AndBandPlayedScotlandTheBrave · 09/06/2017 14:36

''I want to tell you that I love you very much. Not that much or this wouldn't be happening.

But now I see you with other eyes what? Is he writing a novel or something?
I want you to know that I will never never hurt never hurt you perhaps couldn't quite say you because he is about to do just that: lying lip service

but it seems so shallow to give the little compliments before dumping the bag of shit on your head

I do not feel anything for you seven words that he has tried to camouflage with ten times more words to let you down easy. As if.

other than the love and affection that we have shared many years a smokescreen to catch your emotions before they go authentically and incandescently angry

I do not see you with desire. Because he obviously sees someone else with "real" desire. Be causing seeing you-woman- with desire is the fundamental foundation that he is expecting 24/7/365...shallow bastard.

Better you know these things. How decent, there are a few things he better know

At the same time oh the angst of real life-there is more than just his template of his desire.

I can not imagine my life all about him
without our child At least he said "our" and not "my"
and without you, a bit of an after thought at this point?

you are the only ones I have.'' Not anymore, well, part time for the child perhaps.

Blokes are so stupid.

TwitterQueen1 · 09/06/2017 14:45

I agree with everyone else I'm afraid.

He has another woman and is ending it with you.

IrianOfW · 09/06/2017 14:45

Reply?

Dear Twat, thanks for your doublespeak text. I have however managed to translate it into human English. I don't want that sort of love ta very much. And no, you may not stay with me while shagging another woman. You had better start imagining hard.

SerfTerf · 09/06/2017 14:49

Are you okay OP? It must be a colossal shock

Are you working today or at home? Can you sit quietly somewhere and have a hot sweet drink (sounds fey but it really does help when you've had a shock).

monkeywithacowface · 09/06/2017 14:55

The message is barbed wire wrapped in cotton wool.

Sorry OP he's taking the cowards way out presenting himself as a tortured soul and hoping you will take the decision to end things.

SirVixofVixHall · 09/06/2017 15:03

This was a TEXT? Your husband TEXTED you this? Good God. Pack his bags now.

Gazelda · 09/06/2017 15:06

Have you replied to him OP?
I'd send him a text that says "I seriously hope you're not telling me our marriage is over by text?! That's beyond cowardly and you should have more respect for me. I'll organise a babysitter for tomorrow eve so we can talk like adults."

KoalaDownUnder · 09/06/2017 15:10

It's the whole 'I'm telling you now that I'm either shagging someone else or soon will be. This text is my 'fair warning' excuse for the future'.

Tosser.

ScarlettFreestone · 09/06/2017 15:13

He sent you this by text?

What a coward.

I'm so sorry.

MichaelINeedYou · 09/06/2017 15:15

Where has it been mentioned he has another woman? Have I missed it or are we all just assuming?

cjt110 · 09/06/2017 15:19

for OP I am sure she doesnt need people being so... brutual and graphic in some of the replies above.

JaneEyre70 · 09/06/2017 15:20

I'd have his bags waiting outside on the drive for him to come home to. What a vile message to send your wife. He's making his way out OP, and in the most cowardly way possible.

JaneEyre70 · 09/06/2017 15:21

And I hope you're OK. Try and get some RL support too

ScarletForYa · 09/06/2017 15:22

I do not see you with desire

He sees someone else with desire but he wants to keep you sweet because of the kids.

It's over basically.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 09/06/2017 15:24

He sent this from work?

WomblingThree · 09/06/2017 15:25

I agree with everyone else....except, are you absolutely sure it was meant for you? I hate to ask but it seems a weird text to send someone you live with. Why didn't he just engineer a row and yell it at you and storm out? (Like most adulterous twats do).

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 09/06/2017 15:29

He's giving you the old "I love you but I'm not in love with you" line. But instead of being straight about it, he's dressing it up.

I do not feel anything for you other than the love and affection that we have shared many years
Basically you're comforting and familiar and I'm fond of you, but I'm not in love with you.

I do not see you with desire
I don't fancy you.

Better you know these things
I'm such a great bloke that I'm being honest with you - despite saying that I don't want to hurt you, I have decided that I need to tell you that I don't love or fancy you. Conveniently this will make life SO much easier for me when I want to tell you all about my new girlfriend...

At the same time I can not imagine my life without our child and without you, you are the only ones I have.
I want to have my cake and eat it. I don't want to get divorced and I want to carry on having you being the good little wife, making my child available when I want to see them and obviously you'll keep doing all the household stuff that makes my life super-easy. But don't forget that I don't fancy you, so it's fine if I go off and shag about. OK?

The fact that he has done this by text is supremely pathetic. In your shoes I'd be packing Mr Honest & Sensitive's bags and telling him to fuck off somewhere else.

TheNaze73 · 09/06/2017 15:31

Disgusting that he did that by text

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 09/06/2017 15:32

It's a bit contradictory - on the one hand he says he loves you very much and on the other he does not feel anything for you except the love that you have shared many years. Makes no sense.

But like others have said I think he's either cheating or about to cheat - I was immediately suspicious of 'you are the only ones I have' . Very odd thing to say in view of what had come before. Does he often work late?

donajimena · 09/06/2017 15:37

What everyone else said. I hope you are ok
I'd put money on there bring another woman in the wings. Tell him you are sorry he feels this way but best he go and make a clean break of it.

Keepithidden · 09/06/2017 15:38

Its the kind of message I'd send my DW, we can't communicate very well verbally so it would be the only way of telling her my feelings. Could well be a "cheaters script", or could be a " look, things are this bad" type message.

Being generous if course.

PS there is no OW or anything else in my case.

AnyFucker · 09/06/2017 15:39

He's fucking someone else and sees you as the domestic appliance

Goingtobeawesome · 09/06/2017 15:41

Everŷine has said it all. At the very least pack him an overnight bag for the weekend, have it delivered to his work and buy yourself some thinking time.

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