Yesterday I was visiting my boyfriend's/partner's parent's house. His mum has a history of being emotionally abusive, screaming at him, etc. Both of his parents are volatile and were physically abusive to him growing up. We have an 8 year age different. I am early 30s. I've finished my degree and he still needs to study, but I see potential in him. I have had my doubts about the relationship, but we are working on things... I don't know if we will last or not, but I do love and care a lot about him and it pains me to overhear his parents talk down to him and degrade him. I literally heard his father call him a piece of sht multiple times yesterday and tell him to "fck off."
But earlier in the day his mum screamed at him that "She's too old for you... I think she's too old for you. She just wants a younger guy she can manipulate." (He brings me drinks and doesn't have me go get it myself and things like that when I'm visiting their house). So due to this, she finds me to be manipulating him. These things are incredibly hurtful to me! I spent most of yesterday crying. She then shouted "I don't give a SH*T if she can overhear me."
I have not made much effort to talk to his parents because I don't want to get to know these people. I find them rude and abrasive and LOW CLASS. I have treated them with kindness and done things for them, baked them things, even got his mum a sympathy card when their dog passed away (their 12 year old dog passed away and less than a week later they got a new puppy in the midst of moving into a new home - not a safe place for a puppy as the house is a freaking disaster).
There is so much more I could write here, but you get the idea of it. I'm just so hurt. I'm also feeling OLD AS HELL right now after her words. I didn't go out in search of a guy younger than me. I met him online of a forum that we were both on. He chased and pursued me. He was kind to me. We have had issues, but I care about him very much. I came into it with a clear and open mind about getting to know his parents, but they have been beyond horrid. I feel his mum and dad have crossed lines and boundaries and there is no going back.
Her words are terrorizing me and keep going on instant repeat. He told her I had been bawling my eyes out and she rolled her eyes. They had a "family discussion" after she said all those things about me which is when his dad called him all those things. He said I am rude because I don't always greet him. I tried the other day, but he walked past me while looking down at his feet the whole time. I am shy and have anxiety aroudn these people (because they are so volatile). He never looked up at me... usually I tend to smile and then say hello after making eye contact. Why would you walk past someone and look down at your feet the whole time if you want to greet them?
To make matters worse, they had this discussion in front of his two younger brothers with his mum constantly repeating "She is 8 years older than you!!!!" She suddenly has this issue with me. We have been together 2 years now and in the past she said it didn't matter. I've asked him repeatedly if he would rather be with someone younger than me. He says no and that he only wants me. She then said "Well girls in their 30s start to want babies and you're not ready for a baby." Said all this in front of his brothers. He said "I can change that and I'm working towards it." He wants to marry me. I don't want to be related to these people. They are beyond awful. It hurts so much. I've never had issues with a boyfriend's family in the past at all, always had great relationships with the parents and siblings, some that I am still friends with to this day.
I feel so judged and hurt by the comments that they have made...and attacked, embarrassed, etc. Questioning if my life is just one big joke.He told her I had been crying and knew what she said and she rolled her eyes. Her dad kept screaming at him to "bring her here and make her tell me to f*ck off to my face." He refused and told them I would never do that. I'm scared of these people. Wtf, I'm not going to go up to them and say that and although I'm hurt (and probably will eventually start to go through anger), I don't want to give them the satisfaction of stooping to their level and engaging in an argument with them. Please help, what should I do from here? Feeling sick over this.