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Original poster

Said he would not go out with s bigger person.

55 replies

user1484573123 · 03/06/2017 20:34

We were sat watching tv, and on tv was take me out. Been with my partner 17 months. Live together. And he said I wouldn't go out with a big woman. He has said this many time in different scenarios. Now just him saying that indicates to me he is still looking?
Don't really know how to take that to be honest.

OP posts:
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 03/06/2017 20:37

No, he's warning you not to get fat.

KungFuEric · 03/06/2017 20:39

He's saying he'd leave you if you put weight on.

HelenaDove · 03/06/2017 20:39

Hes warning you not to change in any way. Hes warning you not to take medication like steroids if you get ill.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 03/06/2017 20:39

Shitty thing to say either way! But as Joffrey says, I'd take it as a warning to you rather than an indication that he's still looking.

Were you eating at the time?!

Original poster
user1484573123 · 03/06/2017 20:44

I am a size six 5.5 and becoming a personal trainer. I thought that was what he meant but also took it that he is still on the look out. He said he is happy, but then he says things I am not too sure about

OP posts:
Original poster
user1484573123 · 03/06/2017 20:45

@Feedme, yes we were eating

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 03/06/2017 20:46

I wouldn't go out with an obese woman but I'm not looking, I'm married, I don't think that it means he is still looking, he's just stating his type.

HelenaDove · 03/06/2017 20:49

He is telling you who he is Please listen.

Who the fuck says that to a 5 foot 5 woman who is a size 6 . A controlling one thats who.

Im a size 14. Ive lost ten stone to get down from a size 28. My DH has never uttered a word about my weight in 25 years. Apart from one time in the late 90s when he said he was concerned for my health which was a fair point. Im also 5 foot 5.

HelenaDove · 03/06/2017 20:50

but why did he wait till she was eating.

HelenaDove · 03/06/2017 20:51

Is he going to put his money where his mouth is OP and be responsible for contraception so you dont have to take the hormonal kind and risk weight gain?!

Trills · 03/06/2017 20:52

Did you ask him?

Or is he just being twattish?

Ellisandra · 03/06/2017 20:52

I have no idea why you think that means he is still looking.

It may be how he feels.

It may be he's a mean shit who likes putting people down so likes sneering about fat people - even though they don't know it.

I personally don't like the idea of dating someone who is very overweight. And yeah - for better or for worse, my fiancé may gain weight. He doesn't fancy really skinny women, but he still adored his wife when she was wasted from illness.

As you're quite small if you're a size 6, and as you're interested in personal training he thinks body condition is important to you, it may simply be he's going on about it because he thinks it's a way of complimenting you.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 03/06/2017 20:54

Petty part of me would start picking up on male attributes on TV that he has and saying what I would or wouldn't tolerate in a partner, just to see his reaction.

"I'd never date a man who didn't shave every day". "I'd dump someone if he started losing his hair" etc

PlymouthMaid1 · 03/06/2017 20:54

I don't see that as controlling at all. Unnecessary to comment but he was just saying he isn't keen on big girls as girlfriends. I wouldn't choose a big bald bloke but if my oh lost his hair I wouldn't ditch him for it.

Tinseleverywhere · 03/06/2017 20:55

I'd ask him what he would think if you put on weight? Maybe if you had a health problem or something. As a PT staying slim is probably important to you but there's a difference between having quality shared preference for staying slim and healthy and it being a deal breaker if you gain a couple stone for some reason.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 03/06/2017 20:56

I don't think I'd like to go out with an obese man... I just don't find fat all that attractive. I might be shallow but I'm not sure personality could persuade me otherwise. I bet I'm not the only person to think that and I don't think it's a particularly awful throw away comment to make to your partner.
I really don't think it means he's looking for someone else.

Original poster
user1484573123 · 03/06/2017 21:00

Thank you all. I just found the comment odd. He got angry when I confronted him. But then, he is suffering badly with hay fever and I am tired. Not s great combo to then have a conversation like this.

OP posts:
Trills · 03/06/2017 21:02

It's not great of him to bring up "qualities I don't like in a woman" out of nowhere, whether you possess those qualities or not.

If it is a way of complimenting you I think it's an insensitive and gross way to try to make a compliment.

Shoxfordian · 03/06/2017 21:04

It's not a kind comment to make

I don't know if you've had children but if you did become pregnant then your body would change or your health could change and you could put weight on. His love shouldn't be dependent on your figure

Deux · 03/06/2017 21:14

Given that you were watching Take me Out, his comment may have been in context.

However, there is something that's rankled you here so take heed.

Call it your Instinct or sixth sense. There may have been some barely perceptible cues and clues in his body language, expression, tone etc that you've picked up on.

Have a good think about if you feel secure in your relationship or not.

Mummmy2017 · 03/06/2017 21:15

I just sat and said to my DP I wouldn't go out with someone with an earring through his nose...

Happy , not looking and no intentions of cheating,
just a figure of speech .

underneaththeash · 03/06/2017 21:19

I don't find that odd either, certain physical characteristics put me off too...tattoos, small men (height). DH doesn't like fat women either

SnickersWasAHorse · 03/06/2017 21:21

He's showing himself up to be a shallow bellend if you ask me.

Just like comments like this:
I wouldn't go out with an obese woman
I just find it bizarre and so very rude. To rule out a whole load of people for just one reason like that.
Granted being large is different to judging someone on race, disability, hair colour or whatever, as being obese is a choice , not the way you are born. It is something you can control.
And I say that as someone who is a fat fucker who is eating biscuits.

If he loves you then he should love you no matter what.
If he wouldn't love you if you became fat then would he love you if you became ill? Would he love you if you were pregnant and feeling very ill and fat?

BeepBeepMOVE · 03/06/2017 21:22

He's just stating his type. Doesn't mean he's still looking at all. What an odd thing to make such a big deal out of.

I wouldn't date a fat man, doesn't make me a knob just not what I find attractive.

EeekWhat · 03/06/2017 21:24

Unless there is form for him being unpleasant then I can't see any reason that the comment means anything other than he wouldn't want to date someone who was very overweight. 🤷🏻‍♀️ He is saying it in private and he isn't using derogatory terms. I can't see what's wrong with it.