How do I leave the love of my life?

[iknowwhythecagedbirdsings]

Just that really, I have been with my current partner for 9 months. He came into my life straight after a messy divorce and we have both fallen head over heels for each other. However over the last 4 weeks he has pulled away and cut me out. He maintains he loves me and wants to make this work. But he has bipolar 2 and has a history of self sabotage. He fluctuates between wanting to be with me to the point it's all encompassing to not wanting to be with me at all. I love him with all I have within me but I have to find a way to let him go I know this. My children and I deserve stability and not seeing their mother broken on a weekly basis because I think if we have a good few days the relationship is back on track. Only for him to pull away and go cold again. How do you cut out someone when you both love each other deeply. We live a short distance from each other and will probably still bump into each other on a weekly at least basis.

I think the consensus is certainly that I have done the right thing by ending this. I know it will just be a matter of time until he is back out and about feeling better and he will try and charm his way back. Very hard when you love someone however I'm going to refer to this thread if any such time occurs.

I thought that... he's already moved on to someone else. Who no doubt will get Mr Perfect for 3 months before he can't keep up the pretence any longer.

Maybe he has already moved on I really don't think it's that as he is pushing away EVERYONE not just me stopped washing eating etc. He really is poorly at the moment but I regardless need to look after myself and the kids.

Thing is, his behaviour souds pretty much indistinguishable from someone playing (abusive) games - hot/cold, very full on to start with, love-bombing and then retreat/pull away.

There's a reason people get sucked in to this sort of thing.

I understand in this case he has MH issues and that's likely behind his behaviour, but there's always the possibility this is who he is.It's only 9 months in, after all, you don't usually see the cracks until later on. it's not worth the risk.

I agree category 12 it's not worth the risk especially considering my children. If it were just me I would possibly give it longer

It sounds as though you've made up your mind. I'd have done the same. With kids to look after, it would be impossible to deal with a draining and unstable situation. I'm sorry for him and you - prob best all round this has happened relatively early x

iknowwhy - sorry I meant my one has already met someone else, not yours.

I think you've made the right decision for you and your kids. You'd always be on edge.

Ah movingon sorry for the crossed wires I know I need to remain strong and not waiver when he comes back. I certainly agree that putting time and distance between us is the only way!

You'll be okay. Its hard, so hard. Feelings don't just turn off and when you've been love bombed it's really hard to forget that person, rather than the new one. Time and distance is the only thing that will help. You'll get there. x

I had a relationship with someone who was bipolar. To say that I was skewered emotionally, is an understatement.

Have been thinking about you OP.
it's so sad and heartbreaking when a relationship that felt like it could be the one ends. It's even harder when it's under these circumstances and you must have such a struggle between head and heart.

Be good to yourself

Going by your user name I would say you are intelligent.
I was married to a bi polar man for 15 years.
I threw him out after he decided to stop taking his medication without consulting anyone. (That was a non negotiable after physical abuse during episodes and it wasn't once)
2 years later the children and me are still hurting
He is emigrating and remarrying
I very much doubt he thinks of us at all
I would have laid down and died if it meant he would be cured
He loved the highs far more than he loved us
They don't think rationally if they are not medicated
Run away and don't feel sorry for him. They soon move on to the next victim.
Before I get flamed would just like to point out that my ex's dr and therapist told me when I gave up that I had put up with more than 99% of the population would have done. Whilst I was beating myself up about breaking my marriage vows he was busy looking for a new partner.