DP just told me to fuck off...

[Deirdresbelts]

In front of DS, because DP left a glass in the living room for four days. He finally noticed it this morning, asked if it was his or mine, told him it was his because I'd put mine away the other night to which he replied "So that's been lying there for four days?" I answered "Aye, I don't know why you didn't move it". His answer was "Why didn't you move it?" I replied that I was here to tidy up after myself and DS, not DP. That's when he told me to fuck off.

I came upstairs (was coming up anyway). He shouted at me that he'd remember that when he's cooking dinner tonight (actually I'd planned to have something different to him tonight anyway so makes no difference to me, plus I'm relapsing into anorexia so any excuse not to eat is great) and slammed the door. A second later DS came up crying telling me that his dad had slammed the door and he's frightened. All because a grown man won't tidy up after himself.

I think you should have picked the glass up.

I think you should take reponsibility for your health for your child's sake even if you can't do it for your own and look for support for your ed.

I think you should evaluate whether you want to be in this relationship.

The whole situation sounds really unhealthy for your child and it's up to you to do something about it.

My Dh is also very untidy so I feel your frustration and empathise. He has improved over the years and we have talked about things but I would still pick up a glass if I am tidying, as I would for the children (much older so.perfectly capable of picking up their own stuff too).

If I ask a child to tidy up I would expect everyone to muck in not just pick up their own stuff, a family is a family as long as everyone contributes.

I know how annoying it can be though and shouting/swearing isn't great

Forget GlassGate

Are you getting help with the anorexia ?

Why do posters think this is just about a glass? It's not a complaint about her being expected to clear the glass, it's the language he used, her DS and the other issues obviously going on here. Why does mentioning an eating disorder make her an attention seeker?

I agree, normally anorexics are not so open and pragmatic about their illness, very unusual way to phrase it,

It's not just me then.

Why is the op being given grief on here for not tidying away her dp's glass ?!

Yes, it was only a glass. Yes, it would have taken seconds for her to put it away. But how is she at fault here when her dp has sworn and shouted and slammed doors?

Funny how it's always pointed out that it would take a woman only seconds to clear something away but with the implication that it would take a man much longer and would be much harder for him.

Oh OP this is not good for you.
He is lazy and expects you to clean up after him even though he is capable. He is refusing to cook for you as a result of starting a tit-for-tat battle (except he has bumped up the stakes), and you are so unhappy in your life and with yourself that your ED has kicked in again?
OP you are using the wrong medicine here. Changing your body is not going to change how you feel about yourself and your life, so you will always 'feel fat' even though you can't see how thin you probably are. You need to fix why you feel the need to change yourself / your life, then you will find you stop feeling fat.
Would you feel better away from your DP?

Sorry but it really sounds like you were looking for an argument. It's all a bit weird to be honest, it's only a glass, so I don't know why you made such a thing of 'it's your glass, it's been there for x amount of days etc'
That being said, he shouldn't have shouted and slammed the door, especially with your son around. Not okay.
The overrriding issue here for me is the anorexia. Not sure why you just dropped that on there as tho it's not a big deal. That's what you need to be focused on.

There's obviously more to this than meets the eye...your thread is a bit too drippy.

I.e. there's probably more of a back story that needs mentioning in order for everyone to respond appropriately & in context.

I would have picked up the glass myself, but then I don't know the back story, & am responding in the context of my relationship, as I don't know enough about yours.

Agree with others about the mention of anorexia. I'v struggled with eating disorders in the past, & would have moved mountains to keep that to myself, but then this forum is a safe & anonymous space, so not a reflection of how OP treats her illness in RL.

My DH leaves stuff around but when I point it out he sorts it, in my hearts desire I wish he just wouldn't leave it around in the first place. It is irritating AF but his reaction is okay.

I feel there is something more deep seated going on here between the both of you and it's reaching tit for tat levels.

When it comes to your mentioning anorexia, are you getting treatment?

OP the relaps... have you told anyone, how supportive is your DP of this?

Yes he should have moved the glass himself... no reason to swear in front of your child.

I think people are missing the point a bit. When he noticed a glass lying around, he didn't pick it up and sort it, he challenged her, swore at her, slammed doors and upset the DC. Why do so many people think that is ok?

Please don't let arguments with him feed your anorexia. Please get some help.

I personally think the swearing, shouting and slamming only an issue if it's a frequent occurrence.
Or has every MNer never lost their temper at all? Generally on "shit I shouted at the kids" threads it's supportive.

The anorexia... hmmm... As an ex-manipulative-attention-seeking-anorexic I think it falls in to that category. It's slipped in to the OP in a way that shouts "LOOK, I'm anorexic, I need to be treated with caution!" and the "suits me" about not cooking dinner sounds like putting the responsibility for it on the partner.

Glass-gate is just petty on both sides.

I guess I think it's six of one and half a dozen of the other.

When he noticed a glass lying around, he didn't pick it up and sort it, he challenged her, swore at her, slammed doors and upset the DC. Why do so many people think that is ok?

Maybe because he wondered why she hadn't just moved it or mentioned it like a normal person and was a bit bemused like some of us?

Fair enough the shouting and slamming was OTT but sounds like there is a backstory and maybe OP makes mountains out of molehills on a regular basis?

I could walk around the house right now and take pictures of 6+ things that DP has left lying around expecting the tidying fairy to pick up.

Sure, each would take 30 seconds to do, but that 30 seconds for 6 things is 3 minutes a day, 20 minutes more a week that he's offloading onto me because he can't be bothered to spend that 30 seconds himself.

You can call it petty, I call it do as you would be done by.

Or has every MNer never lost their temper at all? Generally on "shit I shouted at the kids" threads it's supportive.

^ This

If my wife goes to bed before me and she's left stuff like a glass or a plate etc out I put it away, I don't just leave it for her to eventually put away.

His reaction was OTT but come on, it had been four days.

Yet another poster forcing her child to live within a dysfunctional household. This is getting fucking depressing how many of these posts there are every single week. If things are so shit then end it. Stop inflicting this on your child.

Loads of people are matter of fact about eating disorders, what nonsense to say someone's faking it just because they don't make a drama out of it

In my experience people with serious eating disorders like anorexia nervosa tend to be secretive , defensive, in denial, and often not even r cognise it, such is the illness. I'm not saying specially she's faking, I am saying just slipping it in there with that's great is very unusual. If you know loads that are different, good for you, but this is a very serious illness,

Well I'm not a saint by any means - but I've never sworn at dh or slammed a door at him, no

Well you're a better person than me. Well done you again. 27 years together and I've done it plenty,