Do you think you can get a spark back?

[imightneedsocks]

I have another thread going at the moment but this is a slightly different (if very relevant) topic.

I'm due to get married in December however I feel like I don't have any spark left with DP. We did have a spark at the beginning of the relationship but this has now gone for me.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about why and it seems to be a combination of...

• Personal hygiene: he doesn't have awful personal hygiene but equally it could be better, obviously this can be off putting

• Irritating/unsexy habits: he doesn't carry tissues and often has a 'bat in the cave' IYSWIM. I have to point this out to him around once a week and it makes me feel like his mother. He also wees on the toilet seat which is not exactly sexy and again, makes me feel like his mother to tell him off about it

• He had a long period (10 months) of unemployment where I felt like he was becoming a bit of a cocklodger. He is now working but this period hasn't helped, again, made me feel more like his mother than an equal partner

I'm contemplating at the moment whether we can work through this or whether I need to call the wedding off. He will be devastated if I call it off and I'm horrified at the thought of hurting him like that.

Can you get back on track?

My boyfriend is the nicest person I've ever met. He is so kind, he always asks me to go places with him even if its just to the shop. He is good to my children, our money is family money. He cooks dinner almost every day and tidies up afterwards.

The house could be in bits and I could be sat on my are and he'll just start sitting the dishwasher without complaint.

But his feet can stink sometimes! Oh fuck me are they bad.

He's not perfect but he is perfect for me.

Have a chat with your do, if you don't then nothing will change so you have everything to gain.

He sounds like a nice normal man.

If you have children in the future, there will be times when your hygiene won't be top notch.

Whenever I have started a conversation about lack of sex, I always start it on a positive. I want to know why there's no sex without asking them a direct question.

Maybe say something like I'd like to have more sex, see what he says.

@MyheartbelongstoG

If lack of sex was the issue I feel like that would be easier to fix.

The problem is we could fix the lack of sex but I don't actually want to sleep with him. I love him but there's no physical attraction there for me at the moment.