Am I imagining it?

[amiimaginingit]

NC
Hi everyone.
A bit of advice or clarity at my situation would be wonderful if possible?

Bit of background:

Partner of 5 years been going for drives alone since baby was born. I've been watching him because he has left the childcare to me, saying he's too tired to go out with us but then going out when we get home. Also noticed a lot of action on whatsapp but denies talking to anyone, saying he has no one but me. My suspicions drove me to check his old dating profile that he never deleted, he'd updated he has a child but nothing else.

Last night I confronted him about this and he has just completely denied it, saying that someone must have messed about with his account, that he doesn't even know his login, that he can't get on, that I am paranoid and finding issues where there are none. He stated he barely goes out (which is true apart from the drives which might be a couple of hours on a Sat and Sun). He said he wouldn't have had a baby with me, he's happy, he has no reason to look elsewhere.

My question is, am I being paranoid? Why would someone hack into his account and only update that he has a child?! My logic says it's all bull but because I love him and am heartbroken I want to believe it's me that's the "controlling" (cos I ask where he's been for a drive) paranoid, unstable woman?

Any clarity greatly appreciated.

Thank you All the advice is helping with the clarity, just need to gather some strength now.

Have you visited the chump lady website? I think it will speak to you.

Thank you Runrabbit, I hadn't heard of it but am reading it now

Elissandra - I love your account of the conversation with your ex. Who sounds creepily like my ex. He could go on for hours with the crazy lies and I was stupid enough to keep asking him, because I really wanted to believe that there was a rational explanation.

So he would say

I didn't mean Jim Smith, who died two years ago. I meant Jim Brown. Yes I called Jim Brown.

Really how is he ?

Fine.

That's surprising , because he's in ICU in hospital recovering from a heart bypass, I spoke to his wife yesterday.

Yes I didn't want to mention that , in case you got upset, because I know you've always had a thing for him. In fact I'm wondering if you have been cheating on me with him.

Followed by my spending ages defending myself on why I wasn't having an affair with Jim Brown and reassuring EC how much I loved him.

I was so stupid

Sorry I mean reassuring ex how much I loved him.

Sorry this is happening to you too OP. Hope you find the chump lady website helpful.