Kids meeting OW

[Stuck16]

So exdh started seeing a new woman at start of march- only ended our marriage 3 weeks ago but that's by the by.
He has told me today he wants our DC to meet his new girlfriend next weekend. They are only 9 and 3 are still getting used to him not being here- it's only been 3 weeks.
He thinks me saying it's too soon is me trying to be difficult but it's not. Yes I am far from thrilled about the idea but to me this is a brand new relationship and kids should only be introduced when a relationship is established and serious.
He said if I don't agree then he'll just take them behind my back.
He doesn't see what the issue is at all. I said that given he doesn't have the kids overnight ever so there's no chance of her being around when they are there's no rush for her to meet them.
Also, his time with them is minuscule as it is, he should want to give them his undivided attention but he's talking about getting her kids involved so they can all play together- it's supposed to be his time with them!!!!
What do I do?

You are an awesome mum stuck and he is a dick and will continue to be a dick.

Please sort out maintenance and formal contact arrangements as soon as you can. It will be better for everyone in the long run.

(And if it wasn't for the impact on your kids, I'd mention that you had a fantastic spa day or similar booked for Saturday that you are so looking forward to and I'd bet he would suddenly be unable to take them to the theme park because screwing you over seems to be his main motivation here). . Do plan something nice for yourself on Saturday, just don't let on! Will be thinking of you

Thanks- don't feel awesome though.

I will be doing something on Saturday, I can't just sit around the house waiting for them to come home. Trouble is he's yet to divulge when he'll be picking them up or returning them!

CMS rang him yesterday, he was furious- told them he doesn't see why I don't have to prove what his money's being spent on and he won't be giving me a penny until I do. They told him they'll be taking it straight from his wages which means he'll be paying more now.
I think he thought they'd agree with him. So at least maintenance is sorted.

As for contact, we'd initially agreed he'd have them Sundays as Saturdays quite busy with activities already. He's had them for one hour, one Sunday, and now he's asked for a Saturday.
I spoke to him last night about it and he said I'll have to be flexible because it depends on when his girlfriends has her kids as to when he has ours!! I said no, he never has them overnight like her kids dad does so he needs to commit to one whole day every week and Sunday is the best choice so- apart from this weekend- Sunday is his day.
He said we'll see- I said no that's what it is. He thinks I'm being unfair and unreasonable.

Take him to court.

I would make plans. Tell him that if he's not there at X time to collect the kids, you'll take them out to do something else. That he's being unreliable and unfair to the kids just being willy nilly about it. He's not giving them the benefit of being excited and anticipating seeing him, instead he's interrupting the plans they (and you) already have.

Kids thrive on schedule so he better get on board with something!

Today was the day, he was late picking them up and refused to say when they'd be back- even just a rough idea was all I'd asked for.
When they did get back my DD whos 3 was really crying, hard sobs. He said it was because she'd just woken up. Turns out he hadn't put a nappy on her, she was soaked as was her car seat. When I got her changed her knickers were covered in poo and it was all in her bottom and vagina too- the skin was so red.
He didn't apologise, he didn't help with the car seat he just stood there and huffed at me saying he should've put her in a nappy.

DS says he doesn't like OW that when he was alone with her she didn't talk to him she just sat there and he doesn't want to see her again- he said he might like her later in his life.

I dyed my hair and met some friends for lunch which distracted me but then the house seemed very quiet and empty while I waited for them to come back. Knowing when they were due would've helped.
He's now gone back to hers to stay the night for the first time, nice of him to tell me that tidbit.

Hardest thing was the fact he didn't check his phone once all day- whatsapp showed his last check. When we were at the zoo for DDs birthday the other week he couldn't put his phone down for more than 30 seconds.
He said its easier to give OW his undivided attention because she gives it back to him- yeh because they don't normally have any kids with them!!!

Write down the state of your dd when she came back.
You may need it for the future.
Keep a diary.

And well done about cms!!

I am horrified at the ineptitude and twattishness of this man. Your poor, poor, kids. I would be distraught, you are a stronger woman than me OP.

Get contact sorted out ASAP. Do what you need to do, mediation etc. Document the state dd was brought home in.

for you. I hope you have wonderful RL friends.