I know I'm being unreasonable

[ihaveacampervan]

A good friend of mine is getting married next year. She's chosen her bridesmaids as I've seen it all over facebook and Instagram. Over the weekend I saw my friend and she told me shes chosen 6 bridesmaids: her 2 sisters, 2 girls who are couple friends and 2 other close friends. The only issue and I know iabu is that me and this girl are really good friends with another girl it's like the 3 of us. She's asked the other girl in our 3 and not me fair enough it's her wedding and I would never dream of saying anything but it just makes me feel like the periphery friend and I realise I've always been that person.

Omfg! You'll have a brand new baby AND a campervan?!?

Girl, you're made. It doesn't get better than that in my book.

hahaha the campervan is on hold money lol

Well the CBT therapy I had involved looking at negative thoughts and assessing how helpful/unhelpful they are, whether you can view things differently more positively, whether you are brooding over them unnecessarily, whether they are accurate etc. Not about not having negative thoughts/feelings/reaction but not letting this take over/go on longer than necc. I look back at certain periods of my life or ways I reacted to things and think I could have managed them better/dealt with them quicker/taken things less personally and have borne that in mind since and will continue to do so.

Congratulations OP!

I'm going to keep the friendship as they're nice enough people but I think not being overly invested is good. I don't really think I'll have a lot of time once the baby is born anyway it may be a blessing in disguise really. I think I'm just going to start spending time with other people and cultivating other friendships rather than give up

Sounds like a good plan @ihaveacampervan good luck x

I'm so glad when the couple of times I've been bridesmaid, there was none of this arranging hen nights, bride didn't expect to be surprised with cocktail making, afternoon tea, flying off to foreign countries.....we just had a few drinks in the local pubs and everyone was as happy as Larry!

Amazing - congratulations OP! You definitely won't want the bother of being bridesmaid with a new baby! I wonder whether your friend sensed that babies might be on the cards for you in the near future (you'd be surprised how people give away clues when they're thinking in that direction) and that's why they didn't ask you. But overall, being less invested is good - especially with a baby on the way! Good luck. From what I hear having a baby will certainly show you who your real friends are and I hope you are surprised by the people that do truly love and support you (whether these girls or others) and focus your energies on them in the future!

My best friend wasn't my bridesmaid. She was really upset. I didn't ask her because she hates being looked at, has her own unique sense of style and likes a drink and a dance, hates pomp and ceremony.

She was upset at the time but thanked me afterwards because she was able to wear a feathered cape, duck out of all the "staged" photos and still got to dance like a loon to Joy Division with me. Think of how much hassle she is saving you ☺️

Yeah those saying "oh I've been a bridesmaid 27 times, it such a bore" aren't really helping

I refer you to my second message explaining the reasoning why. Hope it helps :)