Heard rumours about friend's husband,should I tell her?

[conkerpods]

I've heard a rumour from 2 different sources that my friend's husband is having an affair. He had an affair a few years ago which she found out about.
I don't know whether to keep out of it or to tell her that there are rumours?They're having some issues at the moment but I don't want to blow her world apart.
Any advice?

I wouldn't forgive a friend of mine who didn't tell me.

Do you have proof these rumours are even true?

I wish half the crap that went round this town about me was true. Things would he alot more interesting if it was.

Where is it coming from

You have people all around town talking about you? What are they saying?

Depends where it's coming from

What an awful position to be in. Like a PP said, if I found out a friend of mine knew, or heard a rumour, and didn't tell me, I'd be mighty pissed off.
All the best.

Not so much any more although we all know people in work places can be gossips.

But years ago I was friends with a few people who turned out not to be the friends I thought they were.

Can't be too mad though the people believing it all and ditching me were equally bad

I have no proof,no. And that's why I'm reluctant to say anything.

So you have no proof?

Who told you these rumours?

If two different sources have given you this information then it's clearly not being very hidden.

The wife is going to feel like a mug if she finds out the whole world and her friend knew before her.

I would let her know what you've found out and from whom and let her decide.

I've been in a similar situation - i heard a rumour about a friends partner, in circumstances which meant I doubted it to be true so I didnt mention it. A couple of years later it all came out that it was true and my friend was obviously devastated. In hindsight I wish I had engineered a situation to pop over for a drink one evening and said to both of them 'I thought you should know x is saying you are having and affair with y'. Would that be an option?

If two different sources have given you this information then it's clearly not being very hidden

Or they have the same mutual shit stirring friend with a grudge...

Only if you are prepared for her to be angry at you, not him

Also worth baring in mind taht either way you stand to lose a friend.

Either for being the bitch that tried to break them up when healed her believe it's all lies and says your jealous or talking crap.

Or by not saying anything and she finds out you knew (if it's true that is)

I'd do my best to check facts first and go from there

When he makes her believe

She wouldn't be angry with me I don't think. In our industry there is quite a lot of travel so there are opportunities for infidelity. Not that this means it has happened in this case.

Is your friendship balanced? Do you have mutual respect etc? Would you want her to tell you and would you believe her instantly?
If yes to all then please tell her. .

Yes,yes and yes!

Are you friends with the 2 people that told you, are they friends with each other? How do they know?

No the two people are not friends,we all work in the same industry.

You need to tell her

Is it a competative industry

Do these people have anything to gain from the fall out?

If they're so sure it's true why have they not told her themselves?

How did they tell you?

Was it a "look I know you are friends with X this is what we saw"

Or was it more like a gossip between gossips who need to keep out of other people's business?

The two people have nothing to gain,be it work or anything else. They didn't tell me themselves,one told their wife who told me and the other was via a friend.
Worst case scenario is he's having an affair again.
Best case scenario is he's behaving in a a way that makes people believe he's having an affair even if he isn't and people talk.

I think I will tell her and say there are rumours and support her if she wants it.

They are also not people I'd consider gossips or shit stirrers.

You should tell her you have heard rumours. You don't know if they are true, but you thought she should know.