Heard rumours about friend's husband,should I tell her?

[conkerpods]

I've heard a rumour from 2 different sources that my friend's husband is having an affair. He had an affair a few years ago which she found out about.
I don't know whether to keep out of it or to tell her that there are rumours?They're having some issues at the moment but I don't want to blow her world apart.
Any advice?

Perhaps you could tell HIM you are going to tell her about the rumours. Give him a couple of days to sort it out by coming clean himself. I did this many years ago in a similar situation although I had actually caught him out in a club with OW so wasn't just rumours.

Put everyone else aside for now...

What could be the implications for YOU? Do you see him ever? Do you see the OW? Are you a friendship group? You mentioned work? Whether your friend believes it or not, you will be in trouble regardless of the outcome.

Of course friend comes before her husband and OW but your life is important too, particularly if you work together, small town etc....

Also what is your friendship like? Is she a best friend? And I saw a mention of work, do you work with her or him?

I think the sort of friendship you have makes a big difference in her reaction. You just never know. She may be really embarrass to know other people know and are discussing it, she may take it out on you.

If my best friend told me, I'd believe her without a doubt, she'd do digging for me and help me through it, if someone less close to me told me, it would be much harder. I'm not suggesting you'd tell her and do a runner of course.

I will never forgive a friend who knew and didn't tell me about it.

Do NOT give him a heads up.
He'll delete and hide any proof there might be.

Ask if you can go out for coffee after work

I'm sorry but these threads make me wanna bang my head on the table.

Just tell her what you've been told and who told you

I really don't see what's so difficult about it

I wouldn't forgive a friend who didn't tell me. I really don't understand the indecisiveness when it is a close friend you are talking about, a random acquaintance I can understand being unsure, but not a good friend.

Only exception I have made is when a friend of ours made it clear she had suspicions about her XH but didn't want to know whether it was true or not at that point, so we did not say anything when we saw him with someone else.

I really don't see what's so difficult about it
I would imagine it's very hard.
You could be turning your friends whole world upside down.
Causing untold upset and pain. No-one wants that for a friend.
They might turn on you and you lose a good friend.
You, as the messenger, could get shot.
There are many reasons why it's not easy.

I would want to know how the friends found out about it first. I've known rumours starts from nothing and be repeated by several different people.

I would tell her what you heard and who from. It's his fuck up and not your guilt to bear.

I would tell her that you'd heard the rumour and couldn't live with not telling her but that you have no idea if it's true or not.

These things are always very difficult, it's hard to know what to do for the best. I think in your situation, given he has form, I would tell her not that you think he's having an affair again, but that you have heard things from two different sources that may lead people to that conclusion. People in your industry are gossiping and you have no idea whether the rumours are true or not, but under the circumstances you felt she'd rather hear it from you and it's up to her then to work the rest out for herself.