Anyone think the expression narc is overused here

[yetmorecrap]

I do appreciate that some people clearly are but i personally think it gets used a lot as well to describe partners or parents who are just not nice, abusive , a total twat or just plain rude which I think can undermine the cases where they clearly 'are' narcisstic.

It's the pop psychology word of the week and it's thrown about mn like confetti. I've said this before but the worst I've read was an op who branded her mil (there's a shock!) a narcissist because she dared to not like her sofa cushions. Straight up. It's ludicrous and damned insulting to those of us who've been through the mill at the hands of people with genuine personality issues. It'd no doubt blindside some posters to know that other personality conditions exist! Narcs and psychopaths just make better sensationalist tabloid fodder that's why they're the people's favourite go to armchair diagnoses.

Yes, I agree with you. My quora feed is full of people describing their exes as Narc. I also sometimes wonder if these people are really Narc or just plain selfish people. Having said that I am also influenced by reading such stories. I think anybody with too much of high esteem has some amount of narcissism in them. I already know few such people and wonder if they are narcissist or just have strong ego.

Yes I agree and I've started hearing it in real life too.

Yep.

Yes- reading today made me consider if my boyfriend is one- in reality I think he's just immature and can't admit when he's wrong/take responsibility

Agree completely.

Hi yet,
There are a lot of threads going on about this, and one of them is mine, so I am interested in your thoughts and answers too.
I don't know how many of the people accused of being narcs would be diagnosed as such, obviously, but in my situation, my ex is so text book on the behaviour side that finding out the diagnosis was like scales falling off my eyes. (Unfortunately my mother has narc behaviour tendencies too, but the difference in her case is quite clearly that she is very capable of love, but just has bad manners and is quite selfish, rather than pathologically off, iyswim). And since I'm quite a scientific and rational person by nature, I looked at what the literature suggested the ex would do after certain events, given his narc tendencies, and LO and behold he did every one of them.

I suppose there are people called narcs here who are like my mum, and a psychologist wouldn't probably find anything majorly wrong.

But I think it is important to respect people who call their relatives and partners narcissistic. Most normal people do not go around accusing people close to them of being narcs, it is usually after years of emotional abuse, gas lighting, justifying etc, that eventually the thread snaps, and the the victim goes on looking for answers, when of course the narc label fits the abuser to a tee. Given the usual history leading up to this point is all about painting a fake picture to confuse the victim, it isn't good for others to then question them about their realisation that the abuser is a narc. Sure, it's not a medical diagnosis, but it is a framework and as such it works very well to understand how to deal with the abuser.

Hope that made sense.

I was just thinking this the past few days! Considering the percentage of people in Britain who are narcs, it's extremely unlikely that there are this many. I would go towards lazy, arrogant, abusive etc before going straight to narcissist.

I agree. People seem to be labelling any twattish behaviour as narcisstic.

There's a difference between having narcissistic traits (even if they are many) and having narcissistic personality disorder.

Anyone can exhibit narcissistic traits. It doesn't necessarily mean they would be diagnosed with npd.

That's my understanding of it anyway.

Yes loads of armchair psychiatrists on here who can diagnose narcissistic personality disorder based on a couple of paragraphs by an OP .

Plenty of overused phrases on MN!

Maisie says: Anyone can exhibit narcissistic traits. It doesn't necessarily mean they would be diagnosed with npd.

I don't get it. Isn't that how people get diagnosed? Drs. look at the traits and make the diagnosis? So where is the cut-off point?

The other one that annoys me is limerance. Someone posts about how they have a crush on someone, or are trying to get over a relationship breakdown and a poster pops up and says 'google 'limerance'.

It's as though people are unable to deal with or understand difficult real-life situations without appending a psychological label to it.

I can't help thinking using the word narcissistic to describe someone. Is almost like excusing someone's behaviour.
A lot of mental illness and behavioural problems are being highlighted in recent years. And quite right too. But it does seem for every genuine case there is a least 10 cases of people jumping on the bandwagon using a genuine illness or disorder to excuse there own or someone eles poor behaviour. And that's the reason why so many of these illnesses get a bad rep.

The gratuitous use of the word "entitled" on MN is worse. At least narc is mostly confined to relationships threads or AIBU.

I remember back in the day when I first started posting the word of the week was "Toxic" every MIL with a pulse was deemed toxic.

Sit tight OP it will run its course (only to be replaced by another word)

Narc instead of selfish or indifference to others people's needs or anything else that bothers the PP in a relationship is the word of the day.

It's like the use of the word racist for everything but race instead of use the word prejudice.

Mumndad37 - narcissism is on a spectrum like many things. Most people have a degree of narcissistic traits but only a small minority would get an actual dx of NPD. I work in mental health and hardly ever come across bona fide diagnosed 'narcs', it's quite a rare label to be given really.

but narcissist is a word which can also be used to describe people who dont have NPD ... its a word in its own right.

I definitely know someone who is and its really extraordinarily weird in its purest form which is why I mentioned it this persons issues are aggravated by cocaine use too. I too noticed someones MIL post labelling as such when to me it seemed the woman was just annoying and they rubbed each other up the wrong way. Sadly I am guilty of using the word "limerence" in my own situation--I hadnt heard it before but it does have quite a nice ring to it! although in my case not nice behaviour!

mumndad well yes, exactly. That's what I mean.

A psychologist would know where the cut-off point is. I and most other MNers would not.

narcissist
noun
a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.

Narc is just another word for selfish. There happens to be an extreme psychological condition that uses the word too.

I can't get worked up about it because sometimes people need another word to get their head round what's happening.

Like being able to accept that you are justified in walking away if your partner is abusive to you but not if they are a bully.

"Toxic" is the same as "mean bitch/bastard" in my mind but people seem to find it easier to say "my grandmother is toxic" than "my grandmother is a right nasty cow"

My ex has been diagnosed whilst in prison as being Narcisstic ... I wouldn't wish living with one on anyone ! I now see similar symptoms in my Son who's nearly 13. Not a word that should be used easily because some of us have had our lives changed by a narc and I guess it's one of those situations where until you do experience it in all its glory , you can only imagine this is what it is.
They actually associate living with a Narc as having PTSD so until you've had to recover from a relationship or being involved with someone , you probably ain't dealing with narcissism.

Always makes me think of narcotics before narcissism.

This term is used by my teenage daughter for those who take a lot of selfies! I think it's a trendy word right now.