An open letter to my bell end of a husband

[throneofgames]

Dear Bell End,
As you gathered from last night's conversation, it's over. There isn't anything I like or can even remotely tolerate about you. Your attempt to gas light me last night was a very poor effort indeed. In fact, you tried it twice, pretending you hadn't said/done the following:

1. Told me you hated me. You clearly said 'Why do we hate one another?' And I asked, 'So you hate me?' Because for once I thought we'd agreed on something and you stared me out. I pretty good indication of the affirmative. Yet you deny you did this.
2. When our son was sick last night, I came to tell you and you rolled you eyes and huffed. I had to ask you to help and yet when I raised this as an issue, you said you were quick to help and how could I think otherwise?

And onto other matters:

1. You love to check my phone. I never check yours. Why? I hope you're having an affair. Then it's proof for others what a prick you are. Not that I need to prove why I dislike you so much. But it would save me explaining all the little nasty things you do or omit to do.
2. You tell me I never enjoy anything and overanalyse things I enjoy. You say you never enjoy anything with me. Great. Then leave.
3. You tell me our disabled son will be fine and to stop being vigilant for his symptoms. I won't, because I need to know how to support him. Idiot.
4. You're going away next week. Don't come back.
5. Stop trying to make out I should be jealous of your friendship with a female. Even I can see she's not interested in you like that. And see point 3.
6. Stop making a martyr out of yourself for doing the washing and putting the bins out. I employ a cleaner and I earn far more than you do. Also, stop telling me how to do my job. You're not trying to take an interest, you're positioning yourself as superior.
7. Every word that comes out of your mouth is boring.

10. I genuinely used to feel scared of being alone. Now I'm excited. Really excited. 11. I genuinely thought I had been suffering from poor mental health. Nope, just 13 stone of bull shit. 12. Too negative am I? Life gets like that when you have a husband who belittles you, minimises your concerns and dislikes you to your core. 13. I'm not attracted to you, you fat fuck. But that's down to the fact you're a nasty bastard. Not due to your fat.

Don't forget that your timeline is your own. This may be the first time you've thought this or the thousandth.
But when the time is right, Argos do a really good set of packing boxes/tape and bubble wrap ...

So it seems thrones you have to live with an EA DH who gaslights you but if you call him on it - you're abusive

I don't agree with sending it, fine to write it as a way if expressing feelings but its best to not fight fire with fire.As you have children you have to maintain a low conflict relationship for your child.
Hate is an emotion that's not positive for you so for your own well being try and let it go.

Oh I'd never send it. I agree about the low conflict bit for our son's sake. But it's cathartic to write it down and I make no apologies for it. Anyone that thinks it's harsh - try 6 years of living with him.

My god, he sounds like my stbxp. He also doesn't pay his way (but thinks he pays too much). He thinks that because I get the child benefit, I should pay for EVERYTHING for the kids. I've paid for every holiday we've ever been on.
And my stbxp has also accused me of cheating. I mean, why else would I want to leave him??

For the record, we've both taken our son (it takes 2 due to his disability) swimming quite amicably. We've had a meal with my parents too. Does it change the fact that it's over? No. I'm too detached now.

Throneofgames

Firstly you sound like a strong lady. I wish you and your dc all the luck and well wishes in the world. There's just something I wanted to pick up on that you wrote on your opening page to this thread:
' If he was run over by a bus today I'd be more worried about acting appropriately'

Love this line!

This is how I feel about my ex partner. It struck a cord with me. (Never did I ever think I would feel this way )

x

quite easy really to hate blokes.