The pill turned me into an ogre tonight and now I'm sitting here drinking gin and feeling sorry for myself

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

At least, I hope it's the pill, otherwise I'm just not very nice.

And poor DP has decamped to his mate's to watch the boxing because I was in an awful irrational rage. Triggered by the following things:

1. we are going away tomorrow and I didn't feel DP was showing enough enthusiasm.

2. I had to get up at 7:30 to go into work while he got to sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast and go to the gym

3. I rang him at lunchtime to see what he was up to later and he was in the supermarket and crap on the phone anyway so I thought he was being evasive and I felt like an inconvenience for phoning

4. when we both came back to our flat he thought there was an 'atmosphere' (tbf probably there was as I was in a foul mood about nothing in particular) so we had a strained hour together before he went out

So far pathetic and irrational. I am like this about two days out of every month. I do not want to dripfeed, but, I shouldn't be on the pill at all really- it gave me a pulmonary embolism a couple of years ago (not this brand) I then got the coil. Wheh they measured my cervix and put the bastard in I passed out in agony. I thought it would settle down eventually but it made me look 5 months pregnant, felt like a bit of barbed wire scratching at my uterus every day and they wouldn't take it out so I paid to go private to be rid of it. My normal GP wouldn't prescribe me the pill but the private gynaecologist basically worked out a 'least risk' one and said the chances of another embolism was like lightning striking twice. So now I'm on mycrogynin which is mostly fine except turning me into a monster occasionally.

And usually DP is very understanding, but he cracked tonight and has stormed out leaving me with my gin. (Not enough to get even vaguely wasted and I won't be going to the shop so it won't cause too much damage)

Anyone else being absolutely horrid on their pill?

Disclaimer: I don't want to be off it and use condoms- I took the pill in the first place as my periods are nasty fuckers. I can't discuss with my GP as she won't prescribe me the pill!

I need to text DP and apologise but I'm stubborn.

I am a absolute nightmare on the pill . Can't take it at all and tried loads I also get pmt though and am basically as described in your post for a couple of days a month so could be that . Fucking hormones

Oh no

Trouble is im not sure I know what I'm like not on hormones.

Might be lovely. Might still be an ogre.

I'll be blunt. I was a cunt on hormonal contraceptives.

And drinking will lower your mood even more and rage will more likely surface.

Took me a while to figure out why I had changed into a psychotic bitch (on and off through the month). Came off it and back to normal within a few months.

Had other physical problems with it as well. I'll never touch it again.

I don't feel I have many options but to keep taking it though! It's really unfair.

It's probably more than two days a month it turns me into a moody cow tbh. Probably way more. And it's given me horrible spots on my previously lovely clear skin.

Yea to the spots to . I mean you could try a different pill but without wanting to sound negative iv tried a few and all the same for me . I think I read on here some women are very sensitive to progesterone but even the low progesterone pill was the same for me . As you say you can't know if you'd still be the same without it hormone wise

I'm sure it feels worse now though because your in the middle of it been on your bad few days . Certainly for me it seems when I'm in the middle of my pmt days that it feels like this I feel like that way to often and everything is against me and angering me .

For comparison iv sat with dp tonight him been his usual lovely self . Iv laughed at him for his general silliness , talked loads and just looked at him thinking god I bloody love you .

This time last week .... without exaggeration I was ready to strangle / leave him because he breathed loudly and had a strained weekend with me in a foul mood over nothing . As I said above . Fucking hormones !!!!!!

Here's your sister. Hormonal contraceptives turn me into a raging bitch. Nothing is good enough for me. Libido completely disappears also, so all in all I'm a real treasure as a spouse.

Oh god! There's no hope.

Ugh and DP is really nice! Last month I snapped at him as soon as I came in from work as he was drinking a cup of tea and he hadn't thought to make me one. Poor bugger doesn't even know what time I get in as it varies!

I am capable of being a normal nice balanced girlfriend on occasion. I think

Haha I totally get you the thing is it's so hard to control . Dp kind of just backs off a bit iv explained and apologised and said I really really can't help it . Iv learnt to just go quiet and not say a lot because otherwise il just be awful to him but that in itself is shit because then I'm just quiet or snappy if pushed which is hardly an enjoyable time for him ! Iv been to the doctors and there is nothing wrong . Apparently pmt is more common as you get older .

Sorry to derail your thread a bit I know it's the pill not pmt with you op just wanted you to know your not alone !!

No not a derail at all

It is so hard to control! And I can hear myself and think ugh I sound so awful and I still bloody do it!

Going quite when I feel the rage might be the way forward.

I can't tolerate hormones either. I think of the depo days with utter horror. Thankfully husband has had the snip a long time ago so don't have to think about it.

I don't know the answers OP aside from something more permanent if you're finished with babies.

It works for me a bit as I say it's not exactly fun but better than been mean I guess I kind of just vent elsewhere ie rant to myself ! Don't get me wrong I am the type to stick up for myself generally but literally dp can do nothing wrong and I'm just angry 😂 So I just bite my tongue because I know that normally I wouldn't be mad about "insert absolutely irrelevant issue " so I just go with that ! It's kind of new to me this whole pmt thing it's only been in the last few years iv got it . The pill was a more constant ( and instant upon starting it ) depressed angry mood but a less intense anger iyswim

I haven't even started with babies....

I thought about that app thingy where you plot your fertile times and have sex when you're really unlikely to get preggers but I just think I'd mess it up! If we had a baby now itd probably have to sleep in a drawer.

Watching this thread with interest as I'm about to start a new pill after a 2 year break. Worrying now!

Yeh that's the other drawback for me . Proper sex only when I don't think I'm fertile . Which to be safe isn't that many days. No wonder I'm so moody !! This method has worked ok thus far ! Although 1 more dc is in our plans (hopefully if we are lucky ) just not trying as such right now so wouldn't be a problem if this method failed but prob not the most reliable for anyone if not wanting to conceive right now !

As I get the pill online from lloyds maybe I'll try another! Probably be the same. I'm way too scared to try the rhythm method. although though I'd love to have a baby

Do you also treat your friends/family/colleagues like that, on those few days per month?

I use the app. No sign of pregnancy for 9 months now but I am 44 so a lot less fertile anyway. Also it really makes you tune into your body and notice the little changes throughout your cycle. I use Fertility Friend.

No. But I don't have colleagues as such (nanny/pa) I don't have huge amounts of contact with my family, and if I was feeling like I might snap and be horrid to my friends I wouldn't go out. I think DP bears the brunt because he's there, although I know that sounds a but crap.

No. But I don't have colleagues as such (nanny/pa) I don't have huge amounts of contact with my family, and if I was feeling like I might snap and be horrid to my friends I wouldn't go out. I think DP bears the brunt because he's there, although I know that sounds a but crap.

It is so hard to control! And I can hear myself and think ugh I sound so awful and I still bloody do it!

You can't control those nasty, powerful synthetic hormones which directly affect your brain.

Not everyone gets affected though but I think it's a lot more common than we think (even a low grade depression) and GPs are reluctant to link it to the pill.

Try the cervical cap or maybe the diaphragm. The cap worked perfectly for me- no side effects whatsoever, neither you nor your partner can feel it, and if you use it right, it works. Doctors don't recommend barrier methods because they don't trust women to be consistent and aware of their own fertility (you can take extra precautions when you are fertile if your cycle is regular and you don't trust the cap 100%).

I think DP bears the brunt because he's there, although I know that sounds a but crap.

I know it's hard, but yes it does sound a bit crap.

If you know yourself well enough to stay away from other people, you might need to stay away from your partner too until you can control your behaviour.

Everything you say and do cannot be unsaid or undone. It is relationship death by a thousand cuts.

You might not like this. ..but. ....

Can I ask if you snap at anyone else like this? Colleagues? I don’t think you do, even if they irritated you, you still wouldn't snap because you know it's not acceptable and they wouldn't put up with it.

They'd either avoid you or put in a complaint about you.

*you do it to your DP because he tolerates it, but depending on how bad it is, he may not tolerate it forever and decide he doesn't want to live this way.

Stop and think before you speak to him. Go over the conversation in your head before the words come out and sense check it before you talk. That applies to the tone of voice as well.

You don't want him walking on eggshells because of your moods do you.

When I was on the pill and implant it completely changed my personality. I was horrible, I'm really surprised my boyfriend stuck by me.