The pill turned me into an ogre tonight and now I'm sitting here drinking gin and feeling sorry for myself

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

At least, I hope it's the pill, otherwise I'm just not very nice.

And poor DP has decamped to his mate's to watch the boxing because I was in an awful irrational rage. Triggered by the following things:

1. we are going away tomorrow and I didn't feel DP was showing enough enthusiasm.

2. I had to get up at 7:30 to go into work while he got to sleep in, have a leisurely breakfast and go to the gym

3. I rang him at lunchtime to see what he was up to later and he was in the supermarket and crap on the phone anyway so I thought he was being evasive and I felt like an inconvenience for phoning

4. when we both came back to our flat he thought there was an 'atmosphere' (tbf probably there was as I was in a foul mood about nothing in particular) so we had a strained hour together before he went out

So far pathetic and irrational. I am like this about two days out of every month. I do not want to dripfeed, but, I shouldn't be on the pill at all really- it gave me a pulmonary embolism a couple of years ago (not this brand) I then got the coil. Wheh they measured my cervix and put the bastard in I passed out in agony. I thought it would settle down eventually but it made me look 5 months pregnant, felt like a bit of barbed wire scratching at my uterus every day and they wouldn't take it out so I paid to go private to be rid of it. My normal GP wouldn't prescribe me the pill but the private gynaecologist basically worked out a 'least risk' one and said the chances of another embolism was like lightning striking twice. So now I'm on mycrogynin which is mostly fine except turning me into a monster occasionally.

And usually DP is very understanding, but he cracked tonight and has stormed out leaving me with my gin. (Not enough to get even vaguely wasted and I won't be going to the shop so it won't cause too much damage)

Anyone else being absolutely horrid on their pill?

Disclaimer: I don't want to be off it and use condoms- I took the pill in the first place as my periods are nasty fuckers. I can't discuss with my GP as she won't prescribe me the pill!

I need to text DP and apologise but I'm stubborn.

The answer is to come off it. Other methods have been suggested. Staying on it may well prevent a pregnancy because your DP will get to the point of no return and decide he has had enough. Everyone has their limits.

Other methods do require a lot more effort and forward thinking. Personally I know which I prefer.

Coming off it does sound like a good option.

Hormonal contraceptives were awful for my mood swings. If I'm honest it brings out the bad side to my personality that is underlying rather than changing my personality entirely. It is something I could control but the pill and implant made it much harder. I recognise that it wasn't fair on DH and he shouldn't have had to put up with that behaviour any more than anyone else should have to, regardless of whether they had hormonal issues or not.

I came off the pill a couple of years ago to ttc. It hasn't actually happened though despite lots of interventions so I am looking at being hormone-free as the positive side of infertility. I don't plan to return to hormonal contraceptives ever again.

I also don't think it's a good idea to be on the pill if you're at risk of pulmonary embolism - yes bad periods are annoying and other contraceptives are inconvenient - but not more annoying and inconvenient than dying surely.

I get like this. I use an app which tells me when my period is coming so I know when to expect the red mist.

It doesn't stop it coming - I wish - but I get better at taking myself off & breathing through it. The other day I found myself being quietly furious at DH because of the way he was turning meatballs 😳 Like, I honestly could have throttled him. Poor bloke. Instead I just left the room.

He also has the app now, which helps

And I'm not just like this with him - I am equally murderous on the school run. As I've got older I'm better at keeping a lid on it.

How old are you, OP?

I can't take the combined pill due to medical reasons and I'm a bitch on the POP. The mirena was great the first time but the second one I had fitted made me unhinged. So we use good old fashioned condoms now. I know they aren't exactly sexy but they do at least stop me from being an unpleasant fat cowbag so tbh it's either unsexy condoms or deeply unsexy me.

I'm 31. Seriously am thinking about this app thingy. I am just really worried about a surprise pregnancy!

You treat your dp like shit when you're on the pill and then use the pill as an excuse. If the situation was reversed and he treated you like that for two days of the month you would be told to ltb.

It's simple. The side effects of the pill just don't work for you, so you need to come off it and find another way. What's wrong with condoms?

I can't use pretty much any contraception due to the fact I have a blood clot in my heart, so we have two choices: condoms or abstanance. I won't risk any others even though I'm 43 and the likelihood of me falling pregnant would be tiny, but due to a heart condition and the afore-mentioned blood clot and associated medication a pregnancy would be detrimental to my health.

Have you apologised to him yet?

Is there any reason you can't use condoms? Apart from the fact they're gross?

I'd come off the pill if I were you. Synthetic hormones are not for everyone. It messing with your skin isn't good either!

I'd come off the pill if I were you. Synthetic hormones are not for everyone. It messing with your skin isn't good either!

I would agree - when we were first together DW took the pill and it had a terrible effect on her skin, so we just used condoms, then a vasectomy later.

Alright WannaBe. There's a reason I didn't post in AIBU. I have explained as best I can.

Of course I've apologised to him.

Don't beat yourself up OP! If you think you've overreacted or been horrid, a simple 'sorry' travels a long way. Anyway - whether you should feel the way you do about small things, your feelings still matter, and perhaps there are things he could do or differently if you open up about them? Otherwise they can all become amplified can't they! I think it's really positive that you are putting your hand up to being a bit difficult recently- and I hope you get the understanding you deserve from DP.

I was a monster on Microgynon. I was my normal self on Marvellon. Can you demand request a review with your GP?

I am going to repeat myself and say again that people who don't want to use hormones should find out about the cervical cap. I don't know why no one uses it any more, as it is very good in lots of ways.

Staying on it may well prevent a pregnancy because your DP will get to the point of no return and decide he has had enough. Everyone has their limits.

^^ This ^^

The nearest and dearest tend to be an easy target.

Marvellon god that shit killed my libido.

Come off it all. It's not worth it. Even though I get killer periods I would rather be without the artificial hormones fucking about with my body and mind. (Codeine is your friend )

Have been discussing this with DP this morning (on our way to a hotel for a night away, what a passion killer)
I've said I will try one more pill for three months. If it's no better, or I get some other shitty side effect, I'm coming off, for good.

The other day I found myself being quietly furious at DH because of the way he was turning meatballs

I was awful on hormonal contraception. Moody, depressed, spotty and fat, it was a nightmare. Since I came off the pill 2 years ago I've felt like my real self, and though I do still get PMT it doesn't seem to be as debilitating as it was before.

I've found the opposite. When I was with my ex and ttc I was vile for 3 or 4 days every month. Now I'm with new DP and on POP I don't get any of the mood swings at all, but I don't have periods so that may be why.

I'm also a monster for 1/2 days a month on Microgynon. I've changed the pill twice since and not had the same problem at all. A friend had a similar reaction. I appreciate that doesn't help much if your pill options are limited though... That pill just doesn't seem to suit some people.

I've been "depressed" nearly all my adult life. Except I realised she 49 that it was hormonal contraception.

For some of us they are total fuckers.

Try using the ap Clue to track your "cycle".
At least then you will get advance warning if those tricky days.

The only thing I get now is tearful the day before AF. Just like before I went on depo then the combined pill. I've reverted to my normal self.

I get the turning meatballs thing. I was a monster on the pill, DH brushed past me in the kitchen one day and luckily I wasn't holding a knife at the time......

Nothing is worth feeling that way.

What an odd comment, PushingThru