Am I being unreasonable to expect them to mention it

[Alfiemoon1]

To cut a long story short from my previous posts. Went through a bad patch with dh last year over his friendship with ow v. Mn called it an emotional affair he even moved to his mums over it claiming to be sick of the rows and not having me tell him who he can be friends with.
He moved back in v has cut contact and after threatening divorce he removed her off social media
Because of all the deleting text secret phone calls etc he has lost some of my trust we have been moving on and things have been much better between us.
A few months ago he was showing me something on his phone an she was there on his WhatsApp so I asked to see the message of course it had been deleted he said it was just thanking him for bringing her horse in. I explained yet again that I would rather have seen that message rather than that they had been in contact and he felt the need to delete it
So we carry on plodding on. Last night I saw photos of them together with dd out with the dogs on v facebook neither dh or dd mentioned they had met her aibu to think they should have told me ? Am I right to be annoyed given the past situation?
They usually mention things the dogs have got up to

When I mentioned it to dh he said they bumped into her and he never gave it a second thought to mention it to me yet there are loads of pictures he usually tell me me who he's seen or funny stuff the dogs have done yet never mentioned it
Obviously it is innocent they were out in broad day light in the park but I feel by not telling me he's not being open with me

YANBU

Tagging your daughter was It makes me wonder what your H has said to her. Is she trying to ''move things along'' or check that what he's told her matches reality.

I agree with anyfucker. Who takes pictures when they're dog walking and then puts them up on fb//? agenda

Having read that your daughter thinks you need to ''chill'' makes my heart go out to you. She hasn't a clue. Don't confide in her, don't ask her for information. Just be glad she doesn't understand that the rows last time were borne out of your husband defending his perceived right to grow very close to another woman because he labelled it friendship.

It makes the OW 'v' tagging your dd even more vindictive because it really is twisting the knife in, like putting you in a position (she thinks) where you can't complain or even your own daughter will say ''chill''.

Well screw that. You have a standard and this falls well beneath it.

May i ask how old is this woman? Is she around your/DH's age?

She's in her thirties similar age to me dh is in his forties

Things haven't been great between me and dd since all this went on not sure if it's just the teenage years I seem to bear the brunt of her bad moods

After 22 years together he should know how to handle me not speaking to me makes things worse as I fester of it. A simple I am sorry I didn't tell u we bumped into v while out walking the dogs after I confronted him about it would have avoided this being dragged up again

I wish I had something helpful to say. I do feel for you. I know you are trying hard to be cool about it but honestly you are being mugged off here and your husband's response is a long long way from "loving and cherishing above all others" an old fashioned view yes but most marriages start with this promise. He is absolutely not going to give up his friendship with V and your daughter is uncomfortably very much on board with it. I expect V is close to her what with the horse connection and is making a lot of being a motherly presence in her life. I'm sad for you.

Still not speaking we walked the dogs this morning in silence

Do you think he's trying to make you think it's 'your issue'?

It really isn't. He has physically had connections with someone with whom he'd had inappropriate dealings with and he 'accidently forgot'. I don't buy it. Why not 'accidentally' suggest he leaves for a while? Or accidentally forget to tell him your off with friends for an evening out tonight?

He's pleading ignorance to hide lies!!

He's hoping I will calm down and forget about it. He should of apologised when i text him Sunday night to say I wasn't happy he hadn't told he had bumped into her.

It's always been my issue apparently. He did nothing wrong according to him

He's leaving it in your hands. Typical coward wanting to eat his cake and keep it.

If you carry on with him and find out more later he'll do the "well you knew really" (i.e. your fault). You end it - your fault. He's rigged it lose-lose to you.

Take some time to decide what you want. Have that end-goal in mind. If you want him and on your terms then it maybe full on ultimatum time and argue back strongly against the deflective comments?

Just because he refuses to admit he has done anything wrong, does not make it so

How awful for you. Your DD is obviously in on it too.
You can't really ask your daughter to unfriend V on FB but she is old enough to understand that this may break up her family.

No way did they just bump into each other. And if they had, if either of them had any respect for you, they would've just said hello and moved on.

I am taking it on board I just think they did just meet her at the park I don't think it was prearranged. Dd doesn't usually go dog walking on a Saturday and dh usually goes somewhere else on his own so v wouldn't of expected him to be there and it's her local park right near the yard she walks through there to go home

You are your own worst enemy, love

Can you explain why they felt the need to record the "occasion" for all to see on FB. Or should I say, for you to see.

I don't know she took the pics not him and she put them on Facebook. Which she does a lot of

Suggestions as to why she put them on FB and why your partner seems to give not one shit about it are littered all over your thread here. As they were on your previous one.

And yet you seem wilfully intent on deceiving yourself. Your cheat of a bloke doesn't even have to try too hard to explain himself. You do all his dirty work for him.

It's not your fault this happened. I think most people would feel as pissed off as you do. Clearly lots of advice has been given and you're choosing to deal with it in your own way, which is fair enough.

However, it's not going to stop. By going for a walk with the man who has broken your trust multiple times and then quite happily jumped in on the selfies with this woman who he knows has 1. Already been the reason for the EA/ and breakdown of trust between you both and 2. Doesn't like you or even speak to you, is only going to cause you further hurt!

Does he give a shit? No! Does he take on board how you're still upset? No! But by happily carrying on walking the dogs and going about your daily routines (in silence almost as if it's another mundane tiff) you're only showing him you have no desire or strength to do anything other than accept his disrespectful behaviour and he knows thinks you'll get over it soon enough..

We have to walk the dogs together we are walking the owner of the yards 3 dogs for her. She is paying us but dh can't manage them all on his own

So, in short, he had an EA and is still in regular contact with the OW?

I would be fucking livid.

No they aren't in contact as such she has a horse as the same stables as us so occasionally we see her she isn't there very often