Why does dating have to be so hard?

[Popcorn08]

Just feeling a bit pathetic, fed up, and sorry for myself at the moment!!
Haven't dated anybody for a year, haven't been in an actual relationship for 20 months...

Most the time I am not unhappy being single. I have lots of friends, good social life, go to the gym, have a job I enjoy... but I do want to date, I do want male company, physical affection, someone to go on dates with ect... I'm not even saying I want a serious LTR, but just to date would be nice!!

But people seem to make it so complicated! I'm fed up of all the 'rules', all the games people play because you can't text back too quick because you will seem to keen, you have to play it cool blah blah blah. Why can't everyone just be honest and straightforward about what they want?!
If I want to message someone why can't I do it without feeling like I'm breaking the rule of the man needs to chase? I'm not even sure what I am trying to say to be honest. I'm just fed up of all the dating mind games, and feeling like you have to play things perfectly..it is just tiring!

I wish everyone was blunt and straightforward.

[DevelopingDetritus]

Wonder what a rough percentage of decent guys there is on OLD.

[user1490465531]

maybe 1% lol. sorry for the negativity!

[DevelopingDetritus]

Worse than I thought Needle in a haystack.

[LesisMiserable]

99% decent men who aren't going to settle for a woman just because she's prepared to fuck early doors. Same as woman I would think.

[user1490465531]

men are wired to get a shag as quickly as possible then move on to the next.

[TDHManchester]

I think the two important things are,
Be yourself
Be honest

If people dont like it,swipe left..or whatever you do these days..

[noego]

judgemental, stereotyping, generalising, patronising. You fuckers need to get out more :)

[LesisMiserable]

Dont count me in on that, I said most men were decent!

[Changedname3456]

It's just as bad for men on old believe me! The sweet shop mentality (although sadly without the ons) is just as prevalent IME.

Ghosting, chatting for weeks either with no intention of meeting, women that just want to sext, pics that are about 15 years ood, double (or more) dating... glad I'm out of it.

I met DP via old so it's not all bad though.

[noego]

Perhaps all the decent blokes have gone to the British Legion to play crib, Cos there is no point going OLD because they are judged before they even enter there username.

[AnnaNimmity]

don't play games, try not to overthink (and I agree, What's app doesn't help at all), and just approach dates as fun.

I really enjoy dating. But agree, it does take some dedication.

[Mari50]

God, these threads depress the shit out of me. I'm not ready to start dating but was hoping to in a few months, because of work and other commitments OLD is probably best option- or not reading this.
I did put a profile online at the weekend (I was a bit squiffy) and was alarmed by the amount of messages I was receiving from men who were really young, are they just looking for a milf?
I quickly killed my profile.
And while we're here, what is the best site. Can't do tinder as won't do fb- plus I'm old (but not 50!!)

[noego]

Don't do OLD??? enjoy your knitting, jigsaw or whatever else you are doing tonight.

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

OLD is fine! So many stereotypes abound but it can work.

[LightYears]

judgemental, stereotyping, generalising, patronising. You fuckers need to get out more smile Where's that come from, you sound angry.

[noego]

Well FFS. They get a few messages from young guys want to fuck a MILF and everyone on OLD is tarnished as a weirdo.
I met 2 DP's on OLD and I love them to bits. Perhaps cynicism breeds cynicism.

[LightYears]

Yes but all people can go on is their own experiences. I know a couple of people that have found partners through it but myself it's just been really odd and upsetting. Sure I need to grow a thicker skin, which I think I have done luckily over these past few weeks but still. So many awful experiences it seems, more than good by far as these threads prove. You always seem very calm and collected. Very sweary tonight.

[User627938362]

How can you be fed up with something you haven't done for a year? Shouldn't this post have been made a year ago?

[LightYears]

Not sure what a year has got to do with anything.

[IcanMooCanYou]

I moved to a new city and used meetup to make new friends. I had (still have!) a long term partner, but at least 3 of my female friends I met from it have dated and found long term relationships through it. They absolutely didn't set out to do that- just met casually in larger groups (walks, dance classes, pub quizzes) and have all said it was so much less pressure than OLDing. Might be worth a look?

[Biddylee]

mari50 what site did you go on?

[Mari50]

Match, was only for about 12 hours. I have no experience of OLD, just found it odd that so many younger guys would contact me. Ranging from 21- 31, I could've given birth to them

[noego]

How hard is it to press the delete button?

[LightYears]

Of course you can delete but it doesn't stop you get hurt before you do that. Have you not come across any weirdos and players, because that's all I've encountered. I'm not exaggerating either.

[noego]

if you take a message on OLD personally then it will hurt you. If you do not take anything personally then it doesn't, does it?
I tend to view these messages with compassion. How sad is it that people have a need to send weird messages? What is going on in their lives that makes them feel the need? MH issues or loneliness or have been previously hurt.