The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Swinging Into Sobriety!

[Mouseface]

Hello there,

I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes travelling far and wide, stopping off here and there to collect lovely folk, just like you, for a natter all about booze and the blues that come with being a drinker of whatever quantity.

We don't wear or sell judgey pants here, although a G-string or two (Oooh Matron!) has been known to sort the fan belt out on the Bus as we've been driving for such a long time now!!

In short, we've regular posters here, lurkers, those who have managed to keep their drinking to 'social' occasions, some who are really struggling on an hourly basis and some who are completely dry!

Whatever your drinking 'status', you're welcome here in the new bigger Battle Bus, (as requested) whilst we head far and wide, listening to one another, as we face each day that comes our way, whether it be good, bad or downright ugly, we really have seen it all and don't mind one bit. Lurk or chat, it's up to you but one thing you will always find, is a warm welcome, Opal Fruit wrappers (Looks at Ma bosom push up! ) and of course, in complete confidentiality.

So, if you'd like to look what happened on the last thread (a bit like catch up TV) you can look at this link which will take you there - JUST HERE

And, if you would like to see where we started driving this wonderful Bus, over seven years ago, you can have a look at this very honest thread - RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon,

Mouse xx

Margie hang in there babe.
Such a lot of self hatred and despair on the bus tonight.We hate who we are so we drink and then we hate ourselves more...it's a vicious cycle and I don't know how to break it either. Was AF last night and so nearly bought a bottle of wine tonight but am desperately trying to lose some weight. Am having one can of beer.Still calories but not as much as a bottle of wine...I hope!

Waving at everybody struggling out there. I did six AF days in a row last week, the most for years and years, and felt so much better. Come the bank holiday... and two very wet nights... for absolutely no particular reason other than I think I felt I deserved it after having a break. And so feel rubbish again today. I wish I could just bloody learn. Aiming for AF until the weekend again now. Small steps.

Thanks Ma. I feel like I've been writing the same series of posts since I boarded Gerald, I don't learn, I don't change, I don't help myself. So tired of the whole vicious cycle. Well done for not caving in and buying the wine.

Well done on your 6 days Broken. I am all about "deserving" it too - I'm stressed so I deserve it, it's sunny so I deserve it, it's Friday so I deserve it. But small steps, as you say. Tonight I'm AF.

margie I'm scared too. Scared my drinky dp won't want me...that is appalling! I am not sure why but I think it's probably important to accept that I'm scared and then let that go.

AF last night and at last a good day at work...possible to wrestle my job back from the bri

Back from the brink!

Anyway about to go to the pub for a tea with dp. Standing firm.

Cant scroll back. Was it Margie with the wedding and the cousin visiting. With the visitor, she really might like a soberer visit. Lots of people do. Could you plan to do something other than drink stuff...i don't know a spa or something where alcohol wouldn't normally play a part? Drag racing?

Margie I've been on here for ever and am still doing the same shit. Must cut down. Must lose weight. Etc etc. I am so envious ( and proud) of the babes who have nailed it, like wise woman Venus. It would be nice to hear from some of the old babes, to meet all our lovely new ones so a big shout out to rural and ladame and baby and spanna and thurso and the fabulous isinde....any other blasts from the pasts out there?

Roar?

He there, a tentative hello, I've not posted in I don't know how long, I see a few familiar names. I'm in a bad place, very depressed, thoughts of ending it (only fleeting and normally when DH walked out on me) , DH and I bearly together and I'm drinking so much my liver hurts and I'm actually worried I'm going to die. My thought are full of my next drink (although I haven't drunk today). I'm not sure if I can be a social drinker.....it's all or nothing and I'll even order a take out just to get a bottle as I can't leave the house with DS (4) on his own. Feeling so lost right now

Margie32, all those awful drunken weddings. It makes me cringe! I think on reflection I get monstrously drunk to make the whole thing go away, to kind of disappear. I have since learned that I can go to parties without drinking, and feel fine. I never used to be able to do that, and I have spent my entire adult life being the pisshead people can measure themselves against. I have known for a very long time that me and alcohol are not friends. The penny is really only dropping how shit it makes me feel. Please try and be kind to yourselves! And you Pedro! Well done for taking a day off the grog.

Margie, I felt the same. I thought that alcohol HAD to be part of my life and was somehow fun. Alcohol as social lubricant, alcohol as essential to a party, and if people got really drunk, so be it, it was still fun. Steadily my elderly relations are giving up the grog. A great many of them drank till they fell over, including me. I only realised very recently that my childhood was mostly being brought up by either raddled or hungover parents. I have aquired the alcohol but without any form of social life.

Actuall, sitting here looking at my arse of a H I don't think there is anyway I can't stop drinking yet. He's been arrested and convicted of assault and battery against me, he's amotionally abusive, he's moody and cold towards me and whenever we argue all I want to do is get wine. He's away tomorrow and I know I'll get a bottle of wine. I want to leave him and be happy, but the thought of being single scares the fuck out of me! Sorry, I know this isn't a relationship thread but I do believe a lot of my drinking is to do with this.

will if you'd haven't had a drink today can you go to bed now and you have nailed day 1? Is there anyone you can talk to?

I'm just drinking a large glass of water at the moment....I don't want to talk to family.....they've heard it enough and I do t want to have them give me all their advice and time only for me to go back and do what I always did. I'm thinking of going to my GP,

Sounds like a plan will and well done on the water. GP might be able to advise on other places to get relationship help too.

This IS a relationship thread Will! I went to Womens' Aid a while ago. Have you been in touch with them? They have specialist alcohol councelling and may be able to help you through this part of your life. I should have asked them more, but at the time I didn't really think there was anything wrong with me. Do you have a police support worker? Abusive relationships are well known to lead to self-destructive behaviour. Hang on in there. If you are in need of someone to speak to, call the Samaritans www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us. You are not alone

Hey babes, sounds like there's a few of us having a tough night, im back in the sidecar, really want 3 af says this week. I'm nervous about Friday but I'm driving a friend and her family to the airport at 4am on sat and I can't drink, I can't.

Hope everyone's ok

Will you need to do what's best for you. I walked away from dh. I did it cause I was sick of not feeling wanted and I was so low. Ok after 6 months and me and the kids moving out we rekindled, he's lovely and just misguided, but I needed to bite that bullet. Just focus on you and it'll all fall into place, the wine is a false friend and I use it to help my lonliness but don't let it rule you.

I think that's the first time I've written down that I'm so lonely. I don't need a lot of friends and I have one good one but I feel so lonely. Dh is great and I'm glad we're together again but I'm scared to leave the house and see people again. This place isn't what I'm used to and I love my house etc but the people here aren't me. I have to drink to feel comfortable.

God just read that, sorry for being the crazy from the sidecar

Thanks you two, I was put in touch with a police support worker but never took up the offer....now probation has finished. I called woman's aid the other week but they had no one available and arranged a call back.....by the time they allied backni had checkered out. I need to sort this as my mum drank herself to death and it's not a pretty end.....you're think seeing that would stop me but it doesn't. I will get help, can't promise I won't drink tomorrow but will try

Will don't think about it as focusing on the drinking. That's just making you think about the demon. Call women's aid tomorrow and speak to someone, you need this and just don't tell them that.
I saw people drink themselves to death growing up, good honest people and I promised myself when I had the kids I would make it about them. Sadly my depression and OCD had other plans but I don't want to be like this for them.

You have a future and it's your own, don't waste your days cause life is far too short darling. Make a list for tomorrow. Women's aid, find out how to get him out the house, find something you want to do like read or watch a film and do that. If you drink tomorrow I'll join you in the sidecar but it's your future. Big hugs x

It is difficult calling WA when you want to speak to someone at the moment and you get an answering machine. It's horrible to be in the grip of this. It is vice-like and strangling. Please keep breathing and posting as much as you need to. But most of all, keep breathing. I know it sounds silly, but it's amazing how often we forget. I play a wind instrument, and I get so tense in a group sometimes, that I don't breathe.

Antother thing that happens when we are stuck in this cycle is that we forget how to be kind to ourselves. It can be a really tall order to spend a bit of time thinking, what would I like to do today? If I were with a friend, where would I take her for lunch? What would we do? Then do those things with yourself. I am sorry you lost your mum to the bottle.

Thanks flowery, I'm off to bed and will start my list. Sweet dreams babes

deep breaths and big gulp

Morning babes!
Long time lurker here and I hope you don't mind picking me up from the bus stop?

I have put off writing on here for so long now but now I'm scared and I know I need to do this... ok here I go....

I'm 26, mum to 21 month old son who is my absolute world :) single parent and live with my mum who is my best friend :)

Had a very rough couple of years to say the least and I'm the main support to my mum who suffers anxiety ( health anxiety) we're eachother's rock

I have been drinking atleast a bottle of wine a night now for maybe just under a year ( not every night) I find its the only way I can feel calm or on top of everything. I now know that this Is effecting my health, and I need to do something about it for me and my son. I'm also on anti depressants that also help with my anxiety.

I suffer chronic pain and also have endometriosis. I'm sick of feeling crap, not from hang overs just in general, I plan all the time to give up or have AF days but then something sets me off and I cave.

Right now I am stressing and panicking as after having a consultation a couple of weeks ago due to endo pain, I have been fast tracked for another laparoscopy and was sent a pre OP date and op date 3 days later.
This is brilliant news but one thing is scaring me to death....my pre OP tomorrow, I want to be honest about my alcohol consumption but I am petrified of what they will say, what if they won't do the operation? What if they refer me and my son gets taken away? I am so scared. This is what has pushed me to start writing on here, I'm doing my first AF day today an I'm already worried I'll cave in.

My mum was sent to A&E last night due to high blood pressure and was told by her GP beforehand it should have been flagged up at the surgery months ago an she could be at risk of heart attack, so queue my mum coming home in floods of tears an having a panic attack, my friend took her an stayed at a&e for 6 hours last night an I had to get my shift covered at work as I had nobody to watch my son. Obviously I had to have a few jack and cokes, luckily everything was fine but now her anxiety is sky high still and I'm due to have my operation on Monday which I know is playing on her mind, which has a knock on effect for me

It's been such a struggle and I've been managing but now my head is just blank and I worry about my operation

I'll leave it there for now as this is all abit jumbled and I'm just rambling

So I guess I just wanted to say hi and has anybody any experience of what will happen at my pre OP once I get asked about alcohol? I know either way they'd find out but I'm scared they'll put the cameras in my tummy and tell me my liver is on the verge of shutting down or something or telling me I only have 'X' amount of time to live if I don't stop

The support I've seen on this thread and previous is unbelievable an I really feel I can get the help and support I need from you absolutely fabulous, brave bunch

Many thanks xxx

I feel like shit today. Not hungover shit but just shit. That's really good that your op has been booked, Sparkly. You won't be the first patient who struggles with alcohol. Is your life with your mum inter-dependent? I wonder a bit if you are trying to do some of her thinking for her and vice-versa? Are you able to stop drinking without medical intervention? If not, please speak to your gp or an alcohol charity. I know Turning Point is good if it is in your area. Must go out with the dogs.

Morning all,
Welcome SparklyMagpie well done for posting, that first post is the hardest but you've done it and are now officially a Brave Babe

I'm afraid I have no knowledge of the medical procedures you need, but perhaps someone else will come along who does.

As you realise a bottle most nights is a lot of wine, I drank sometimes 2 most nights for probably 18 years so it may help a little to know that I haven't had any wine this year at all - nobody is more amazed than me about that and that is the truth. For me, it was about being ready to stop, it took an awful long time to get to that point and I've sometimes likened it to leaving an abusive relationship, you know how women will often stay with a wrong un for years? They know he is bad news, they know they should leave but it's not quite the right time - then one day it is the right time and they escape.

It's not easy to leave this fake friend of ours- wine, we believe it relaxes us, helps us sleep and cope with day to day stresses but it really doesn't, we kind of know it deep down though don't we?

I wish you well and am glad you've joined us, I hope you find it as helpful as I have.

Babes, so many struggling right now, I hate to hear the self hatred and hope so much that today feels better.

I'm still frazzled here, but coping. I think there are one or two new posters I haven't said hello to yet and I'm sorry for that. I will try to catch up but the thread moved so fast last night I'm behind.

Onwards x

Thank you ladies I feel welcomed already

I will write proper replies later :)

But must add, I don't feel I need medication to help me stop, I know I could, I just end up getting fed up or after a long day chasing my son around and handling the meltdowns haha so I find it nice to unwind later on.

I had already decided after I have my operation, it's a new fresh healthy kick start for me. Lose some weight, get the fit bit back on, lots of lovely healthy meals; the works. I want to feel my best again. Already feeling confident now and so glad to be on the bus

You're all incredible and I can't wait to get stuck in and carry on the support !
Xx

Also long shot, but I heard Jason Vale Kick the drinking book is fantastic. I keep looking online, does anyone know if I could get a free copy of it to read online? Can't afford to buy the book at the minute and don't think my library have it in.

Already been looking for support online an have signed up to a few websites. So determined this time