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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Told exes new gf that his son is here

88 replies

summerfling · 14/04/2017 17:48

Admittedly I did it out of anger.

Angry because he's trying to hide the fact he has a child from his gf so as not to ruin his relationship with her even though he didn't meet her until well after I fell pregnant.

Of course, if there's a fall out, I won't know. She's hardly going to reply to me!

I also did it because he's changed his fucking number! Shows he's trying to get away from his responsibilities & it's not happening!

I'd like to think she'd be decent enough not to stand for the fact her bf has disowned his son but I won't bank on it.

OP posts:
HerRoyalFattyness · 14/04/2017 18:58

I completely understand your anger.
But he's just confirmed what an arse he is. You don't want that in your sons life Flowers

Concentrate on you and your baby. Contact the CMS. That's all you can do now. Just leave well alone.
At least when your sons older you can say that you informed them he was there, gave him the opportunity to be involved and it was him who refused.

stitchglitched · 14/04/2017 18:59

He's a scumbag but if you are who I think you are you have already had harrassment warnings from the police about contacting him. Don't risk a criminal record. Far better for you to just concentrate on your baby and leave him to his conscience.

PonderLand · 14/04/2017 19:01

I think you've done the right thing by telling her. I'm sorry he's treating you this way, if I got into a new relationship I absolutely would want to know if that involved a child. He may not have contact with the child at the moment but that could all change at the drop of a hat.

Congratulations on your new baby OP, I hope you're getting help from friends and family! The first few weeks are difficult to adjust to, I can't imagine how hard it is as a single parent.

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:02

How do you get over this??

I expected some form of hate towards me for messaging his gf but to call his son "your baby" & to so coldly say he wants nothing to do with him.

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 14/04/2017 19:02

Oh are you that poster?

HerRoyalFattyness · 14/04/2017 19:04

You don't get over it.
You move on, hold your head high knowing that you'll do right by your son. That's all.
Getting over it will take time. But moving on is something you can choose to do now. Just leave well alone.

Dowser · 14/04/2017 19:05

He's a prize isn't it.
I hope his gf runs for the hills.

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:08

Apparently he's told his gf everything & she is happy with the fact her bf wants nothing to do with his child

OP posts:
glitterglitters · 14/04/2017 19:09

@summerfling sounds like they are well suited to each other. Flowers

ScrambledSmegs · 14/04/2017 19:11

CMS and then forget about him. It's for the best.

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:14

I've contacted CMS, he's also said he will pay (presumably because he knows he has to & cant get out of it) but wants it to go through them too.

OP posts:
MommaGee · 14/04/2017 19:14

Then they're perfect for each other and if she gets pregnant she'll understand totally when be walks away.

You can be enough for you're son Op, he doesn't need a winker of a father resenting him

Oswin · 14/04/2017 19:15

Absolute scumbag. It's OK to be angry and upset. Fuck him. It will get less painful.

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:17

I don't want anything to do with you or your baby.

I've told you before to leave me, my family and anyone connected to me alone.

Iam happy to take responsibility and pay yet I want it to go through the CSA as then it's documented and all legal.

I want zero contact and will never change on that.

"Mary" knows everything, and also wishes for you to leave her alone.

I will be blocking your email address now also and yes will be contacting the police.

Now for the last time please leave me alone.

OP posts:
Gazelda · 14/04/2017 19:22

Please don't waste any more energy on him (other than pursuing the CMS claim). He's laid his cards on the table. He's not going to become DAd of the Year. By continuing to contact him and/others around him, you are continuing to cause yourself more angst and risk police involvement.

ShamefulDodger · 14/04/2017 19:23

This is very sad and understandably this is making you angry op, but for the sake of your son, you must now move past this.

You cannot force someone to do the decent thing I'm afraid. It will be his loss. The bedfellows gouvcsn get in this situation is child maintenance.

But you must now leave him, and all to do with him, alone and concentrate on you and ds.

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:25

I'm not replying, I won't be messaging anyone associated with him again.

Should any of them EVER pop up, I will tell them where to go!

I've no interest now, he's made his bed, he can damn well lie in it.

He is a heartless wanker!!

I am just sorry to my son for giving him the father he has!

I will never show my son that message

OP posts:
thenightsky · 14/04/2017 19:26

'I want nothing more to do with you or your baby' Wow what an arse of a man Shock

I'd have replied 'do you mean me and OUR baby?'

OnionKnight · 14/04/2017 19:28

Are you the poster who has been stalking your ex, his family and his boss etc?

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:32

Oh I'd have happily replied however I'd have wound myself up so much that I'd have turned up at his house!

I hope for my sons sake, he never changes his mind

OP posts:
user1471558436 · 14/04/2017 19:32

You are better off without him. Awful man.

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:33

Are you the poster who has been stalking your ex, his family and his boss etc?

No I'm not the poster who has been stalking her ex.

OP posts:
KungFuEric · 14/04/2017 19:52

Why has he said he'll be contacting the police op?

Original poster
summerfling · 14/04/2017 19:56

Because I've contacted his gf.

OP posts:
KungFuEric · 14/04/2017 19:58

That seems like an extreme reaction if it's a first offence and it hasn't been spelled out to you categorically that you are harassing him.

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