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Original poster

He helped me get dressed after sex...

78 replies

KRGP · 13/04/2017 18:48

Has this ever happened to you? Is this a nice thing?
It sort of struck me by surprise; my (ahem) friend got dressed and then helped me get dressed too!
I was a little dumbfounded in the moment to question it and thought it was a little weird once I pondered on it.
Just to clarify, this guy is not a boyfriend, just a (ahem) friend.
Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Bobbins43 · 13/04/2017 20:05

Yeah, the kissing thing is normal for us. We've stolen a few kisses at work too. As long as you are comfortable, OP that's all that matters

Didiusfalco · 13/04/2017 20:09

I had a FWB benefits situation - we've been married for 10 years now. Do you want it to be more?

Whathaveilost · 13/04/2017 20:09

I just feel that when a bloke helps dress a women who is perfectly capable of doing so her self it isn't sexy (to me) it's like they are shifting the power from being an equal to making the woman seem helpless and incapable.
Ever since I had that boyfriend I mentioned in a previous post my skin goes cold when I see it either in a film or in real life ,not in a sex way of course ,but in a more subtle way. By this I don't mean helping someone put a coat on as my dad likes to do)

Original poster
KRGP · 13/04/2017 20:20

Bobbins43 - Thanks, that's helped me clarify that's it's normal!!

Didiusfalco - that's amazing it worked out for you but I think it's safe to say that you are an exception to the rule! At the moment I don't want it to be more because first and foremost, I don't want to lose him as a friend; sex or no sex.

Whathaveilost - I'll admit there are times I watch sex scenes on tv that remind me of him but not in a bad way; more to the point, I don't think I've ever seen on tv how he dressed me back up but I didn't feel negatively. I'm sorry if my post brought up some bad memories for you.

OP posts:
Hellofromme · 13/04/2017 20:22

I would really hate that.

AcrossthePond55 · 13/04/2017 20:22

DH does this on occasion and I admit I find it just as sexy as him helping me disrobe.

Don't try to second-guess. Just accept the gesture as part of sex and enjoy it.

PoorYorick · 13/04/2017 20:30

I've had this, it was very sweet and tender. I liked it.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 13/04/2017 20:35

I agree with PoorYorick.

I think the only time to worry about this sort of thing is when the clothes you are being helped back into are a wimple, habit and jesus sandals ...

hareinthemoon · 13/04/2017 22:37

I think the only time to worry about this sort of thing is when the clothes you are being helped back into are a wimple, habit and jesus sandals ...

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 22:40

Bloody hell, OutCrowd!!! That's a bit... odd

SeaEagleFeather · 13/04/2017 22:44

I think it's gorgeous.

with the kisses? I think he really likes you.

Enjoy it!

NotTheFordType · 13/04/2017 23:00

Sorry, does "ahem" mean "fuck"?

PoorYorick · 13/04/2017 23:23

Yeah, all the "ahems" were a bit annoying. We're all adults here, you can just say it.

NancyWake · 13/04/2017 23:42

Personally I think kissing at work is crossing the line in a FWB situation. But then everyone draws their lines differently.

Partly because it's got you questioning if he wants more - maybe questioning whether you want more, or maybe it's just that you sound like you'd be pleased if he wanted more.

HarmlessChap · 14/04/2017 00:45

Might just be as simple as him having a fetish.

hellopeoplehowareyou · 14/04/2017 01:05

I think it's sweet and I think you've gone past friendship when you had sex with each other anyway.

dailymailarecunts · 14/04/2017 01:20

The amount of jumping about and stretching of denim that goes on when I get dressed means I could probably do with a hand getting my jeans over my muffin top Grin

He sounds lovely op, are you open to him being more than a fuck buddy?!

lorelairoryemily · 14/04/2017 01:24

I can't see past the "ahem"s, use your words!!! It's really annoying

avamiah · 14/04/2017 01:29

In my opinion he was just in a hurry,and was trying to be as nice as possible about it.

Boogiewoogiebuglegirl · 14/04/2017 01:38

I think you've gone past friendship when you had sex with each other anyway.

This.

I've never had a FWB situation that hasn't turned into a proper relationship or totally killed the friendship. Are you keeping it as FWB because you are scared of being hurt because you do want more, or because you really don't want more? If it's the former, then you're better off just trying it properly IMO because you'd be hurt if the FWB didn't go anywhere anyway. In for a penny, in for a pound ...

WankingMonkey · 14/04/2017 01:41

Has he got kids? When mine were young I was so used to man handling them in to coats I did it to my mum once, zipped her in and everythinG.

Heh. I did this to DH not long ago. The reaction was exactly like the smiley thing on here. The Hmm one.

Have had to stop myself doing it to DSD (12) once too when I passed her coat.

DadWasHere · 14/04/2017 01:42

Hmm... we have extending intimacy or hurry up and get out or a fetish. I agree with all of these possibilities.

Italiangreyhound · 14/04/2017 01:55

OP I know didly squat about FWB so do feel free to ignore me but...

" but does it mean he actually likes me in a non-buddy way? I'm confused!" Of course he likes you in a non-buddy way, buddies are friends and friends do not usually... you know... (I actually like this being coy thing!)

"At the moment I don't want it to be more because first and foremost, I don't want to lose him as a friend; sex or no sex"

Call me old fashioned but you will almost certainly lose him as a friend, you will either fall madly in love and hook up as a couple or you will go your separate ways and your friendship will be affected by this. Future boyfriends/girlfriends/partners may find it odd you have a good friend who you used to sleep with and the friendship will drop, or one of you will want to take it further or stop altogether and the other will not.

I'm as old as the hills so feel free to ignore me but why are you happy to take a friends with benefits situation when you could instead have a man who is interested in your romantically and willing to say so openly and be known as your partner. I mean you are 100% free to not want that. but you have not said you don't want that, just that you do not want to lose his friendship.

The buttoning up your blouse thing seems quite caring to me but if you don' like it then say I'd rather do it myself

kiwipie · 14/04/2017 02:08

I had a guy do this once, very gentle and seemed nice. I found it very controlling and belittling. Ended it soon after

PrincessFiorimonde · 14/04/2017 02:33

As long as you are comfortable, OP, that's all that matters

This^^ seems to be the thing.

Good luck, OP - whether you'd like him to carry on being a FWB, or would like him to be "the one", or whatever you want!