Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

DP reported colleague and the colleague lost his job

85 replies

sadflower · 11/04/2017 21:44

Hello all. I need some opinions, whether my DP did right or wrong because i cant stop thinking about it. He started this job three months ago. It is security job, night shift, they have to stay at places and guard them all night ( thats all i know ) He found his colleague asleep and alerted him to wake up , but when he returned to check on him later that night he claims that he found him asleep again and that when the colleague realized that he was there he started pretending that he does his job. Now i understand that when you have a job you have to do it right . The part that troubles me is that the colleague is a family man, in his fifties , that he hasnt caused any issues prior to this. My DP did not even care to ask him if there was any special circumstances that made him fall asleep that night (i maybe take it too far but anything can happened as an emergency the day before or something and caused him to be very tired). He reported him straight away but bot because he cares about the job (thats my understanding) but because he found it disrespectful that he ignored him the first time and fell asleep again. The colleague lost his job and i feel terrible about it. I need opinions please

OP posts:

Trollspoopglitter · 11/04/2017 22:05

Well he was disrespectful to him because he should have reported him immediately for being asleep on the job. And instead of being grateful for not reporting him immediately, he went back to sleep!

And if there wee exceptional circumstances, most people paid to guard (who have been caught asleep) would be profusely apologising and voluntarily explaining their unusual behaviour.

Original poster

sadflower · 11/04/2017 22:07

RunRabbitRunRabbit

What I find strange is that you can't stop thinking about your DPs role in it. What's going on there?
My DP lately has revealed a part of himself that i havent seen before. He seems to enjoy feeling that he has power over other people. He treats me in a similar manner, i am afraid to talk or do anything because he becomes a totally different person. He will take the smallest thing that he thinks you said or did wrong and he will act as he has to defeat you and win because you dared to say /do something he finds wrong. Now i see this behavior extended to other people or so i think thats why i feel so bad

OP posts:

Itaintme · 11/04/2017 22:12

I think you shouldn't have to live with a man who you are afraid of. He sounds like a dick. Leave him.

gamerchick · 11/04/2017 22:12

So he's starting to be a cock to you OP?

FelixtheMouse · 11/04/2017 22:14

Your DP is a dick.

Original poster

sadflower · 11/04/2017 22:15

BoneyBackJefferson

Your DH did the right thing but for the wrong reason.
yes i think thats the best description.

OP posts:

HotelEuphoria · 11/04/2017 22:15

My DH's company is containers, they have had SEVERAL big scale thefts and break ins due to security guards falling asleep or not patrolling the yards. That stolen container of TVs adds to the overall cost we all pay. Irrespective of the reasons your DH reported him, the sleeping guy lost his job himself.

ohtheholidays · 11/04/2017 22:15

From your first posts I thought what a nasty dick your partner is but then you've said about the way he treats you as well,he's a bully OP and I'd be ending the relationship!

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 11/04/2017 22:16

Op your husband sounds like an unpleasent man. Can you leave him?

Renaissance2017 · 11/04/2017 22:17

I couldn't sleep at night knowing I has (sic) lost his job

It's ok. The OPs partner doesn't need to worry about sleeping at night!

I have to say, having worked nights a lot I'm not sure I would squeal on a work mate in this way. I'm also not sure how I would trust a workmate who squealed on a colleague. Maybe your partner will find himself not very popular with his remaining colleagues.

croquetas · 11/04/2017 22:18

That is harsh! I wouldn't report that unless it is repeated and I've spoken to that colleague. A colleague began falling asleep at work (very unusual of him) it turned out he had sleep apnea which he didn't know about. He is managing it better now and has to sleep with some mask on. I'm glad he didn't loose his job, he's a good man.

GabsAlot · 11/04/2017 22:19

hes a dick basically

my dh is security does a mixture of shifts-there ha been occasion when somone has fallen asleep-he wakes them up tell them to get some coffee or something

is your dp their superv isor he shojuld have just told them to deal with it

and u dont usually get sacked for one offence

SandyY2K · 11/04/2017 22:23

The colleague should be awake and do his job. The reason he was reported is immaterial... The fact is that the colleague was sleeping on the job.

He's not paid to sleep.

Nanna50 · 11/04/2017 22:24

I agree with you, I would have first established whether there was a reason, not condoning falling asleep on the job, but not everything is black and white. Many years ago a colleague fell asleep in court during a particularly boring trial. The Judge quickly established that the man had been up all night with his wife in hospital. He was commended for turning up in court rather than holding him in contempt.

I understand your concern because this is indicative of his behaviour at home and you know that your husband is being unreasonable in his treatment of others. You should not be in a position where you are afraid of your own husband, do you have children, are they affected?

CycleHire · 11/04/2017 22:26

"Your DH did the right thing but for the wrong reason."

Yes, this.

And if he's treating you like this too no wonder you sound unhappy. Is this a change in his behaviour or have you only realised recently?

From what you've written here he doesn't sound like a nice man. I'm sorry.

Oakmaiden · 11/04/2017 22:27

I would have first established whether there was a reason

Isn't that the job of the management?

PickAChew · 11/04/2017 22:29

Of course he was right to report him. The guy was being paid to be awake and alert or else there's bugger all point in him being there.

ShoesHaveSouls · 11/04/2017 22:30

I think your DP is a dick.

Goodasgoldilox · 11/04/2017 22:31

If it didn't matter that the guard was asleep... then no-one would pay him to stay awake. If there was some kind of break in - your husband would share the blame if the place wasn't properly covered.

If there were mitigating circumstances these were not your husband's business. This is above his pay grade. It is for the man's employer to listen to and to decide on.

If he lost his job this was because his employer didn't think there was a good enough reason to give him an other chance. I imagine that this wasn't a first offence - or the company must be unfair and will soon be short of employees.

PickAChew · 11/04/2017 22:34

His need to control and be respected is a bigger problem, though - is this side of him beginning to make you feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time?

MrsWhirly · 11/04/2017 22:34

I think it's harsh, but if you're paid to do a job you should be doing it in my opinion.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 11/04/2017 22:36

He's only recently become a dickhead? That's unusual. Have you been together long? Is it possible that he is a long term committed dickhead but you are only just discovering it now?

Original poster

sadflower · 11/04/2017 22:39

For those who ask if he was always like this, i think he was but i think i was choosing not to see it. Recently thought his behavior towards me , makes me depressed, i never know what is going to make him rage at me. And when he starts its so draining that i just wanted to stop. I know thats not the reason for the post but i guess is relevant to his character

Another thing that i havent mentioned, he is new to this job, a little more than three months. Prior to this he never mentioned anything about being a manager to other guards . The day after he reported the colleague he came almost boasting how he lost his job due to been asleep and this wouldn't happened if he hadnt disrespect him. When i asked him how it all happened so fast and how they didnt investigate first he said its because he is their manager and he makes decisions. I honestly think that this is a lie as i know that there is only one manager there but i can not understand why he would lie about it.

OP posts:

ferando81 · 11/04/2017 22:39

Your partner didn't give much thought to the family of his work colleague.Sounds like a nasty narcissist

Renaissance2017 · 11/04/2017 22:48

So possibly no colleague and no sacking? Maybe somebody wanting to impress?

Flip

1 2 3 4