Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Married man interested in me?!

67 replies

user1491575946 · 07/04/2017 16:13

I know the title sounds bad.. I am in a relationship and have been for two years and living together.
Over the last 8 months their has been this guy at work and i get the feeling he is interested in me. We speak and say hello every day etc at the start he used to seem very nervous around me he would stammer when we had conversations and if we bumped into each other unexpectadley he would go all red and flushed. He always gives me this stare when he walks past which is quite sexy and makes me think he is attractive when he does this! he doesnt seem to treat any other women at work like this and doesnt seem to notice women as much as he notices me. I was collecting for charity and people at work were giving say £4 each he put £15! It has been going on for some months now and i feel their is A LOT of sexual tension between us. When my partner meets me from work the guy seems to get jelous and moody with me the next day which makes me feel kind of strange as i cant tell what he feels. He makes comments to colleagues in front of me like 'i am so tired i need to get a bed in my office and tell the wife im working late to get some sleep' it all just feels very strange i cant work him out! Am i imagining things or does this guy like me. I am starting to develop feelings for him because of how he makes me feel. I would never go their obviously but all the tension is bugging me and i hate that i dont know what he is thinking! He is married and has been for over 10 years with two children and seems happy with that he always speaks happily about them. I am 24 and he is 32.
I know it is probably just harmless flirting that is making him feel good but its been going on for ages and just wont stop i really do not want to develop strong feelings for him but i cant seem to help it cause of how he is with me.
What should i do?

OP posts:

noego · 07/04/2017 16:18

If he is a position of authority then speak to HR. This is unacceptable in the workplace and is tantamount to harassment. Their are laws that protect you. If he isn't in a position of authority it is still harassment.
Secondly, what right does he have to get moody when your DP picks you up and create an atmosphere. Big red flag my dear. As in the words of the song. Run for the hills, run for your life..........

AnUtterIdiot · 07/04/2017 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stonecircle · 07/04/2017 16:25

I'd guessed you were very young and silly before I got to your age. The exclamation marks scattered throughout your post suggest childish excitement.

He's married with kids for goodness sake. Knock it on the head before you do develop strong feelings for him. And brush up on when to use 'their' and 'there'.

Wellitwouldbenice · 07/04/2017 16:28

You need to grow up.

Ellisandra · 07/04/2017 16:29

Can't seem to help developing feelings for this creep?

The fact you are posting here is A Bad Sign. You have mentionitis and you know you can't talk about it elsewhere.

Go there if you want, but let your boyfriend go first, OK?

Adora10 · 07/04/2017 16:29

OMG, you sound like you're on the tip of falling down the affair hole; please don't do it; so what if he gives you some attention, he's spoken for and has small kids; do you like the thought of being his bit on the side, really?

Put an end to this; the longer it goes on the more chance you will find yourself in an affair, find being a favourite word used by cheaters.

I'd also end my relationship as you don't sound mature enough to stay faithful; you sound like a giddy teenager who's having her first flush of love; it's not anything like that; it's playing with danger.

And, it's your work place so be careful because people are not daft.

Original poster

user1491575946 · 07/04/2017 16:34

Hes married with kids yes but how does that explain him flirting with me

OP posts:

BlessYourCottonSocks · 07/04/2017 16:36

He's a dick. That's how it explains it.

Adora10 · 07/04/2017 16:36

Explain what OP? You are sounding about 12 years old now. Have you actually read any of the replies, I think you should read again.

Racmactac · 07/04/2017 16:36

Because he's a man and he's trying his luck.
He's not worth the hassle

Original poster

user1491575946 · 07/04/2017 16:37

It is hard to ignore him when i have to see him every day and as soon as he knows i am trying to distance myself from him he does something nice for me to make the flirting start again

OP posts:

Adora10 · 07/04/2017 16:38

Because he's a dick and can probably see you jumping up and down every time he enters the room.

No offence OP, but you sound a right dick too.

EllaNB · 07/04/2017 16:43

It sounds like you have already made a decision to pursue him and are enjoying he attention.

Have you thought about breaking up with your boyfriend?

user1485984489 · 07/04/2017 16:43

Just start giving him the cold shoulder - you don't have to be rude but don't encourage him. He'll soon get the message. And if he doesn't, report him for sexual harassment.

You're in a relationship and he's married. Grow up.

AnUtterIdiot · 07/04/2017 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnUtterIdiot · 07/04/2017 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frieda909 · 07/04/2017 16:50

I noticed you barely mentioned your own relationship at all. How is that going?

I've always found that a wandering eye tends to mean something isn't right closer to home.

Huskylover1 · 07/04/2017 16:51

Hes married with kids yes but how does that explain him flirting with me

Because he wants to have sex with his wife at home, and is hoping to get some "on the side" sex with you as well. He wants in to your knickers, that is all.

If you go down this path you will get hurt. Once he's done with you, he will drop you like a hot potato, and you will have to see him every day at work, knowing that he used you for sex and has seen all your wobbly bits

The fact that you like his attention, suggests to me that your BF isn't going to the The One for you.

NoelHeadbands · 07/04/2017 16:51

You need to grow up really

Original poster

user1491575946 · 07/04/2017 16:56

I know he loves his wife and children but what im confused about is why he is trying to make me attracted to him by doing these things? Or is he just being nice and im taking it the wrong way?

OP posts:

HelenaGWells · 07/04/2017 16:56

You need to ignore him. He flirts because he can and he's likely enjoying the attention. Your post reads like you are a giddy schoolgirl flirting back. If you are serious about your boyfriend knock the flirting on the head. Be civil but NOT flirty and he will get bored. If he pushes it and makes you uncomfortable report him for harassment.

He is basically getting off on you fawning over him so stop doing it. It is that simple.

HelenaGWells · 07/04/2017 16:57

Also lots of men say they love their wife and kids and then shag someone else, as do lots of women. Sometimes people are dicks.

Riversleep · 07/04/2017 16:57

Because if he got married at 22, he did it quite young, probably now feels he missed out on playing the field and wants to have a bit of fun. Either that, or he's miserable in his marriage. In both instances, you need to back off. He needs to sort out his issues with his wife, without a 3rd party getting involved. If you are unhappy in your relationship, end it. Same goes for him.

HowamIgoingtocope · 07/04/2017 16:59

One rule of the office. Don't have a relationship. One rule of life stay away from married men.

Gah81 · 07/04/2017 17:03

Why is a married man flirting with you? Because some married men just do, especially with younger women in the workplace. If you're acting infatuated with him (which from the way you've expressed yourself, sounds like you might be) then that could well encourage him.

Don't let the attention turn your head and do something foolish that will cause a lot of hurt to others and quite possibly yourself.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread