How long does it take for men to show their abusive side?

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Sorry if this is a stupid question, just wondering about a ballpark figure.

It's not specific to anyone - I am single. But I don't want to make any more mistakes. I used to ignore major red flags so thought not doing that would be enough, but I'm scared. So many, many men seem to be conditioned to treat women badly.

So - how long until you can be reasonably sure they don't have a hidden dark side?

See, I don't do this. confused I am my "true self" from the beginning

OP sorry but I don't buy this. (It's slightly off point) but everyone does.

Are you saying that for a first date with a man you liked you wouldn't make an effort? Or that you'd go dressed the same way you would if you were having a relaxed night in with an old friend?

Are you saying that when you first meet someone you let everything about you hang out as it were? For example, all humans have some undesirable habits. Whatever they are - ranging from an unhealthy interest in a geeky subject to smoking to drinking to picking your nose to farting to loving pickle and nutella sandwiches. Whatever.

It's normal and human to not show these undesirable traits early on anywhere - dating, interviews, new job.

It's simply not true that people don't do this. EVERYONE does it. I'd accept some people may do it to a greater degree than others (types it takes you ages to get to know) and the time frame will depend partly on personality types (shy will be longer) and partly on exactly what you FEEL you need to hide/work on about yourself.

What is it about pregnancy that sets it off
could be that pregnancy makes a women more vulnerable and in need of protection, people with a predatory streak will often move in for the kill when a person is weakened.

Any change that knocks you off balance provides an opportunity for a manipulative person to make a power grab

It's also because the woman is focused on the baby and other people are paying attention to her, asking her how she's feeling, talking about maternity leave and preparations like buying a cot, pram, etc. Abusive men can't stand the thought that the world doesn't revolve around them.

When they signal disapproval at you for having a different opinion to them and exert subtle forms of control.

Mine was when we moved countries but there were several massive red flags before that which went completely over my head.