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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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To get rid of my fwb of 4 years.

97 replies

HowamIgoingtocope · 03/04/2017 05:58

You can judge if you like frankly I don't care. I've had a fwb for 4 years. He disappears for months then comes back. I know he's probly in a relationship somewhere but I'm single and frankly I don't give a stuff.

Any hoo. He blocked me on fb. First time ever. Kind of stumped me. So I go looking and it seems I'm also blocked on wattsapp. Cue psycho woman . I've blocked him on everything. Okay I feel crap now. We connected sexually but emotionally not so much. Maybe I just have to high a sex drive to care. But I would rather not be broken for a second time

OP posts:
HowamIgoingtocope · 03/04/2017 17:17

Thanks. I'm buying shoes later. I've been at work all day. Currently trying to get advise regarding him refusing to bring the children home after Thursdays contact.
He is an emotional abuser. If you read his emails he would seem perfectly normal. He's passive aggressive narcisstic sociopath. He's never ever wrong. I'm always to blame. That sort of thing.

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MusicIsMedicine · 03/04/2017 18:56

Sorry to say but the sex was crap for him if he didn't progress it into a relationship.

He has a relationship with someone else who he deems wife or mother material and you have let yourself just be someone he empties his load into when it's convenient.

Now he has go serious with his sweetheart, he's Fucked you off without a backwards glance.

If that doesn't make it clear he has no feelings whatsoever for you, nothing will.

If a guy doesn't take you out to dinner and romance you, they're not interested and you're just a quick easy lay to them who will always be available no matter how badly they treat you.

Poor you.

Maybe you should examine why you have such terrible self esteem.

And such little regard for another woman who may just have been suitable wife material for him and you weren't.

Arealhumanbeing · 03/04/2017 19:08

*MusicIsMedicine

It was really great of you to post just to be intentionally cruel.

You sound very happy in your life.

ForalltheSaints · 03/04/2017 19:11

He could have had the courage to break off things, whatever the reason.

HowamIgoingtocope · 03/04/2017 20:21

Hahaha sex wasn't great. Oh dear wind your neck in.
I'm fecking good in bed and have been told.
So no it wasn't because the sex wasn't good. It's because he's a worm. Simple as.
Now honey go back to your hole and cover it with the crap you talk.
You may have noticed I take no crap particularly off women who know me not.

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noego · 03/04/2017 20:23

Shit happens in FWB type situations. You had your eyes wide open when you went into this. Move on and quickly.

HowamIgoingtocope · 03/04/2017 20:23

I certainly have no intention of being anyone's wife ever again. Been there done that . Bought the time shirt.
Thanks your your input. Proves to me some women are just hateful and really have nothing better to do with their lives.
No girl power for you then.

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HowamIgoingtocope · 03/04/2017 20:24

Nego I'm done. Morning over with. Contacts and history deleted.
New shoes bought .
On to the gym crush.... wish me luck.

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PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 03/04/2017 21:21

That was pretty nasty of music. Ignore her.

Gym good. Endorphins rock!

HowamIgoingtocope · 03/04/2017 21:31

I could go with a gym rat. Hmmm time for a change. Brush down. Back up tits out and off I go.

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PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 03/04/2017 21:32

Step sway from the men! Nothing to see here. Move along citizen. Grin

MusicIsMedicine · 04/04/2017 09:43

Girl power is giving it straight, as brutal as that may seem, as you seem to be someone who needs a man on the go all the time to get your self esteem from.

You also want to regard yourself as this amazing lay, but it simply wasn't enough for this guy to take things further.

Why do you think this is? If you don't love and respect yourself and have healthy self esteem, these men certainly won't.

I feel sorry for you, because you are setting yourself up to be treated like crap again and again.

The gym is the worst place possible to meet anyone decent. That sleeping around culture is rife in those populations and all you'll get is a reputation as a slapper. Like it or not, that, unfortunately, is still the mindset of these men you seem to attract.

The minute you give yourself away so easily, straight away, you are taking yourself off the table as partner material.

Please value yourself more highly than this as it is pitiful that you need to keep being used and ditched like this, before you break this pattern.

HowamIgoingtocope · 04/04/2017 10:09

Wow. You really regard yourself highly in the councilling don't you.
It's quite simple. It wasn't about love or a relationship with him it was about sex. Good sex. The fact he decided enough was enough is his problem. Nothing to do with.me not being a good lay. He was my fwb for 4 years. I'm sure the sex was good enough for him to keep coming back.

Sweety. You havnt a clue about my situation or who I am. So please don't try and lecture me about my life. Or how I perceive myself .
I value and respect myself. So much sof I've been single for 6 years. That's by choice. I have sexual needs . Hense why I had about fwb.

So take your little judgement and shove it where the sun don't shine. Supporting other females is the power that they need. Not being Purley condescending and horrid.

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category12 · 04/04/2017 11:14

Oh bullshit, ons turn into relationships and fwb sometimes do too. And sex is fun as of itself. Bloody awful nasty puritanical shaming bullshit.

Take no notice, op. Flowers

MinisterForSmallFountains · 04/04/2017 11:18

Music are you Dr Nora from Frasier? Say it isn't so.

HowamIgoingtocope · 04/04/2017 12:30

Let her have her moment of self worth. I'm here getting on with my life Hehe.

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HellonHeels · 04/04/2017 12:51

music WTF is all this slut shaming about? "Slapper"?! "Giving yourself away too easily" You make me wonder what century we're in.

HowamIgoingtocope · 04/04/2017 14:14

She seems to be enjoying shaming another woman. Crack on love. Considering I was married for 21 years makes me nothing of the sort. I'll give myself to whomever I so wish. However they will have to earn the right .
Crack on my dear. Your life must be such fun.

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AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 04/04/2017 14:21

Giving yourself away? Are we supposed to be charging money instead because I think that's a whole other situation.

NurseButtercup · 04/04/2017 14:37

HowamIgoingtocope

People/friends used to call me an old slapper when I decided I didn't want to be emotionally invested (disappointed) in being in a relationship and opted for a series of FWB.

I used to ignore them because I was having a good time and getting my needs met.

It's your body, do what you want just be safe (which I imagine you are).

He's probably blocked you because his partner has caught him.

You've now blocked him.

Now as you said earlier, dust yourself off and .....

NEXT...

I would suggest not finding your next FWB in the gym that you use. If you hook up and it's no good, do you really want to bump into him again afterwards????

Plenty of willing candidates online via Tinder and POF.

Good luck and why bother arguing with people on here that have a different outlook on your lifestyle choice???

SleepFreeZone · 04/04/2017 14:48

Weird thread Confused

noego · 04/04/2017 16:33

I'm loving this thread. I love a bit of RA.

MusicIsMedicine · 04/04/2017 16:44

But putting your "needs" before another woman's potential happiness isn't decent behaviour is it?

You admit that you don't care that he has a partner.

I simply would never knowingly go near a man with a partner, because I have a moral compass and I'm not a cunt.

You keep trying to defend the Indefensible and it is woeful.

You admit that this man suddenly blocking you has caused you to be hurt and upset.

I wonder then why you simply choose to move on to the next guy, for this same pattern to repeat itself.

All those having a go at me. If this was your daughter, one wonders how you would feel. Or if you found out this is who your husband or partner was cheating with, and she was well aware of your existence but didn't give a shit.

This is not good conduct and it is going to blow up in your face at some point as inevitably happens in these scenarios.

Look at your username... Howamigoingtocope. This doesn't bode well for you, treating yourself and others with such little regard.

Does it not bother you even in the slightest that these men might have a wife and kids and you could be the third party involved in potentially splitting up a family?

Answer honestly, does this really not bother you at all?

You talk a girl power, yet you are casually shagging another woman's partner with no care how her world would be shattered. Girl power? More like latent hypocrisy.

Please tell me this is a wind up and you're a better human being than this.

I think you are very lonely and troubled, but that doesn't give you the right to destroy someone else because your own life is shit.

Disgusting behaviour. You need to take a good long hard look at yourself and examine why you do this.

HowamIgoingtocope · 04/04/2017 17:16

Sorry fell asleep after the first line. Haha

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HowamIgoingtocope · 04/04/2017 17:19

Wooooop wooh sweety. I'm single. It's not me that has chosen to shag someone else whilst in a relationship. I had no inclination he was in a relationship until now. So bore off.
FYI my username came from the breakup of my marriage. Nothing more or less.

Right she's bored me again. Jez has she no life.

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