Horrible decision - please help!

[islassor93]

So in July this year, my best friend of six years is going to cambodia for a month and a half to work and teach children English. To fund this, she is having a charity night to pay for the flights and raise money for this etc.

The problem with this is, I've already agreed to go to a hen weekend for my other friend, leaving on the day of this charity night. I'm in a dilemma because I'm closer to the friend going to cambodia, but this hen was booked and planned months before the charity night, so I feel like that's what I should stick to?

I feel like I'm letting my friend down for the charity night. I'm thinking of offering to help my friend set up the charity night and go for lunch with her, then leave and meet the other hens slightly later on, so I'm still present at that as well? It just means I won't be there for the actual evening when it's happening.

Please give me your advice and help! Sorry for the ramble just had to get it all out, haha.

[5moreminutes]

Reputable volunteer organisations who recruit English teachers tend to want a teaching qualification and at least four year's directly relevant teaching experience, and to want volunteers to commit to stay a year or more in placement. In return the volunteers have their airfares and local standard accommodation provided, and a small allowance to cover basic essentials in local currency. A lot of volunteers are early retired professionals with 20, 30 or 40 years experience able to train local teachers and advise on setting up new programmes etc.

[Iamastonished]

I agree 5more. I think sponsored events should be useful and constructive like a litter pick or donating your time to a good cause like taking a housebound person out for instance, not something you actively enjoy. Sponsored pub crawls come to mind here.

I know - I think I will get people to sponsor me eating at a different restaurant every night

[FrenchLavender]

999 times out of 1000 though it's the ones who post map my run on Facebook and have been obsessive hobby runners for ages who suddenly want donations to pay their airfare to run somewhere exotic or the entry fee for doing a prestigious marathon, or hobby hill walkers who have always done walking holidays who want crowd funding so they can walk the great wall of China...

Exactly. It's ridiculous. In those circumstances you may as well just club together to make a donation to the charity and cut the runner out of it all together. By the time their costs are covered there isn't much left going to charity anyway. The whole point of doing something challenging for charity is that it has to be something you don't ordinarily do or enjoy!

[islassor93]

So told her today, don't think she's that happy about it. Explained my reasoning and she's a bit off, I expected her to be disappointed but I said to her at the end of the day if it was switched around would she miss a hen weekend? The answer was no. So I'm fully justified.

[Floggingmolly]

What use does she imagine she'll be, teaching kids a whole new language for six weeks? . Is there actually a school who want to indulge her in this?

[islassor93]

You guys are making me doubt her venture hahaha.

[ohidoliketobebesidethecoast]

If she was dead set on you being there, she could have checked you were free before picking the date for her thing, no? If she didn't check, she'd be unreasonable if she assumed you'd def be available.

[Iamastonished]

It's not you she wants, but your money.

[ohidoliketobebesidethecoast]

I the no people are maybe being over negative about the trip tho. We don't know that there isn't an element of teaching local teachers to continue the work, or that there's been no teaching before and won't be after (this may be to give a boost to existing local education which is ongoing).
Even if it was just 6 weeks tuition, it could be enough for kids to pick up quite a bit. In wales, non-welsh speaking kids who are going to a welsh speaking secondary school, get a 6 week welsh course at the start; it sounds too little, but I'm told they pick it up well enough to be taught from then on in welsh.
I don't know the answers, but unless people have experience of this specific programme it seems harsh to write it off as pointless for the schools involved?

[Graphista]

Please don't give money to this 'charity' it's a scam.

No reputable organisation recruiting people to teach English as a foreign language would do this.

The reputable ones require:

A suitable degree
Plus a a suitable tefl qualification (usually celta) which takes a minimum of 4 weeks to complete (full time)
Plus AT LEAST 2 years mentored experience
That the person recruited commit to a minimum of 6 MONTHS to the teaching.

Bugger all can be taught in 6 weeks, if it's a new teacher every 6 weeks the disruption is very disadvantageous to students.

It's a common scam in certain parts of the world inc South Asia.

Cambodia is the new 'Thailand' as a desirable place to visit for a holiday.

How do I know? I know several people who are tefl teachers for reputable organisations including a cousin who is a recruiter (she's been involved in tefl for many years).

Seriously please don't give a penny.

Please instead give her a name of a reputable organisation instead. Although those who run reputable tefl courses also have good connections with recruiters.

Cautionary tale: one friend I have who was sucked in by an ad (which I'm guessing is what's happened here) ended up stranded by the company in Korea without her passport!

[rookiemere]

She has no business being unhappy about the fact you have a prior commitment.

I have a friend who decided to do one of these things and needed to raise a lot for her charity. I paid my money to go to the quiz night, then I paid more money to buy raffle tickets, then I think there was a tombola as well. Pretty rubbish evening ended up costing me about £40.

I wouldn't worry OP there will be plenty more occasions to donate your money's.