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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

telling partner they have bad breath

60 replies

Kikikaakaa · 02/04/2017 11:05

I have posted about this before on another subject, this is my boyfriend and we don't live together. I feel like I am going to have to say something to him as it is massively offputting me kissing him or even cuddling at times. Initially it was only occasionally that it was a bit whiffy but it's got worse and smells kind of different? I can't describe the smell but it's not just stale breath (like morning breath which we all get from time to time).

I am not sure if he is aware that he has it but in the past when he has spoken to me about his indigestion problems he was having I urged him to go to the doctor. He did not go. I also do not think he bothers to go to the dentist often either. He is very clean otherwise, always showering and brushes his teeth a lot even at my house so I don't think it's a dental problem.

I feel a bit sorry for him and downright mortified that I feel I have to say something as I don't know what to say or how he will take it. Is this going to just kill his self confidence around me. Its really starting to kill my attraction to him so I need to speak up. Any suggestions of kind ways to do this? Or say nothing and break up?

OP posts:
peaceout · 02/04/2017 11:08

If you were him wouldn't you rather know?

endofthelinefinally · 02/04/2017 11:22

He should see his gp.
Bad breath can be a sign of kidney disease.

Toobloodytired · 02/04/2017 11:26

You don't need to offend him or feel bad.

Just say "have you been having issues with any of your teeth recently??"

When he asks why just say "because the smell of your breath has changed"

peaceout · 02/04/2017 11:46

These are very good
www.waterpik.co.uk/oral-health/products/dental-water-flosser/WP-120UK/

peaceout · 02/04/2017 11:47

Could be oral hygiene, just brushing is often not enough however frequently you do it

DearMrDilkington · 02/04/2017 11:48

How about suggesting mouthwash if he doesn't already use it? Mention you've started using it and that you feel much fresher than before.

Original poster
Kikikaakaa · 02/04/2017 12:16

I feel like this is not dental I have a feeling it's from the stomach? When he was taking reflux tablets (cheap ones) it was much better, he has stopped those for now and won't go back to the GP to get proper PPI acid reflux medication so I think all the dental stuff in the world won't help. He's ignorant of this stuff which is annoying.
He realised his tongue was fuzzy so he has stepped up his dental routine and I think mouthwash (not sure) but I could buy some Corsedil and leave it at his?

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 02/04/2017 12:25

He should get tested for H Pylori.

picklemepopcorn · 02/04/2017 12:34

Corsodyl is not great for all sorts of reasons. I'd go with the 'smell of your breath has changed' tactic. See the doctor because you could have X, y or z.

PossibiliTea · 02/04/2017 12:57

I've just said it outright to my other half lol in the nicest possible way and not too seriously. Or maybe ask him how his reflux is and do you need to go back on the tablets?

Original poster
Kikikaakaa · 02/04/2017 13:13

I have had h pylori before and told him this too!
Because the actual pains have gone he thinks it's all fine but he burps a lot/can't drink fizzy drinks.

I think saying the smell of your breath has changed might be the best way to say it?

OP posts:
user1484603141 · 02/04/2017 13:41

I have really bad acid sometimes and I'm very mindful of my breath, as I can feel the acid coming up into my mouth. My hubby has started with it too and his breath has got worse, I keep gently mentioning it but it's not getting better. One of the thing you could mention to him is that the acid can burn the throat, so that might be a way to get him to the doctors.

DoItTooJulia · 02/04/2017 13:48

H. Pylori was my first thought. But honestly, we all get whiffy breath and I just tell my DH-sometimes it's because he's been at work for 12 hours plus and had no lunch and 12 cups of tea. No funniness, just straight up, DH, darling. You need to brush your teeth right now. And he does.

I'd worry about my relationship if one or the other of us couldn't just say this stuff. But maybe that's just us. I hope you find a way to navigate this Flowers

memyselfandaye · 02/04/2017 13:52

You could get him to try CB12 mouthwash, I've just seen an advert for it.

LemonSqueezy0 · 02/04/2017 14:12

My partner had issues like this - I used to just keep loads of mints around the house as a subtle gesture but as it got worse that barely masked the horrible smell and I was just honest with him. We joined a new dentist together, and he had a deep clean and it was sorted straight away.

itsbetterthanabox · 02/04/2017 14:16

Get him to check for tonsil stones. A lot of people aren't even aware these exist but lots of people have them and they reek.

mistermagpie · 02/04/2017 14:27

My exH told me my breath had been smelling 'chemically' once, it was when I was suffering from bad reflux so assume it was associated with that (I've got very good dental hygiene - no fillings or anything at age 36). I was glad to be told to be honest, as embarrassing as it was, I got new medication for the reflux and the problem went away.

HotelEuphoria · 02/04/2017 15:13

It could be gum disease, DD had a milk case of it and her breath was really off during this time. a course of antibiotics and a scale and polish at the dentist sorted it. Don't buy Corsodyl, you only need to use it a week or so before it stains your teeth a really horrible brown which needs a dental visit to resolve.

PragmaticWench · 02/04/2017 15:17

He needs to beware of ignoring an acid reflux issue just because it doesn't hurt; my mother did that and ended up with her oesophagus collapsing after the acid damaged it. She had to have a stent inserted and now has Barratt Oesophagus which is a pre-cancerous disorder of the oesophogeal lining. It's serious and he needs to go to the GP.

PollyPerky · 02/04/2017 15:40

This topic always baffles me.
How can people sleep with their partner and all the intimacy that involves, and yet feel they can't mention pongy breath?

Ok, I'm married, but if DH has whiffy breath- like today- I just say outright 'Cor blimey, your breath is pongy today.'

I know it's different in a long term relationship but if you say it in a light hearted way I can't see how it can offend.

PollyPerky · 02/04/2017 15:42

and linking it to his acid reflux and the health risks of that is an easy way to start the chat.

InTheMoodForLove · 02/04/2017 15:50

you must have that chat OP, it can actually be sign of serious health conditions do not delay please

Original poster
Kikikaakaa · 02/04/2017 16:20

I don't know why I haven't been able to mention pongy breath, I really am baffled myself. I think it's like BO, it's such an awkward topic and I psych myself up to do it/say it then just seem to not find the right opportunity and how to get on to the topic! Because if I say it in the evening to his face before we go to sleep it's not like he can do anything about it that evening and he will feel self conscious. I would half die inside! But he needs to know for work as well doesn't he?

OP posts:
palebluesky · 02/04/2017 16:23

Cringe for you, OP!

Firstly though please do NOT use Cordysyl. It stains teeth horribly. I used it religiously last year and I had terrible stains on my teeth. It was horribly embarrassing as I've always had lovely teeth (Blush) but my dentist explained (and removed the stains, wonderful woman!) I now use Listerine!

Is he low carbing, by any chance?

PollyPerky · 02/04/2017 16:35

But how can you be intimate with him and find it hard to mention pongy breath? Sex is wet, noisy, squelchy, sweaty stuff- and you do all of that, so how come saying 'By the way I'm worried your stomach is playing up again because- hate to say this- your breath is pongy.'