telling partner they have bad breath

[Kikikaakaa]

I have posted about this before on another subject, this is my boyfriend and we don't live together. I feel like I am going to have to say something to him as it is massively offputting me kissing him or even cuddling at times. Initially it was only occasionally that it was a bit whiffy but it's got worse and smells kind of different? I can't describe the smell but it's not just stale breath (like morning breath which we all get from time to time).

I am not sure if he is aware that he has it but in the past when he has spoken to me about his indigestion problems he was having I urged him to go to the doctor. He did not go. I also do not think he bothers to go to the dentist often either. He is very clean otherwise, always showering and brushes his teeth a lot even at my house so I don't think it's a dental problem.

I feel a bit sorry for him and downright mortified that I feel I have to say something as I don't know what to say or how he will take it. Is this going to just kill his self confidence around me. Its really starting to kill my attraction to him so I need to speak up. Any suggestions of kind ways to do this? Or say nothing and break up?

Being blunt, the fact you are dithering over talking to him over this seems to suggest the relationship is not that sound anyway. In a close relationship where people have sex, mentioning smelly breath should not involve this amount of agonising. If you cannot talk to him over this, what else in the future might you avoid discussing? It doesn't sound healthy to me.

I'm just not sure we are at that point yet. It's still early days, it is a bit wobbly on some levels.

But this is surely making it wobblier, op!

Just tell him FGS. Why wouldn't you?

It sounds like there is a background health issue that needs addressing, so you would be doing him a favour.

I get tonsil stones and they stink so I'm aware that my breath probably stinks sometimes. I do my best to keep it sweet though.

We are a family of ulcer sufferers too - my husband gets them very badly - and I always know when he or my children have them as their breath changes.

Regarding the comment about knowing (or not) that you have bad breath, my husband is always first to have a moan about the kids 'not cleaning their teeth' if their breath is pongy, yet he absolutely has no idea that he often smells bad. I just give him a wide berth when he has ulcers - it's not like he wants snogs then anyway.

Oh no it's not tantric sex guy is it? Honestly with the other issues you have with this man, I would just call it a day without the awkward conversation.

Does it smell like pear drops?

No it doesn't smell like that.

I'm not convinced he is 'the one' but there is something I do so like about him despite these things! It's not even that I am scared to dump him I'm not convinced I want to. Definately not making any commitments until I am more sure and will sort this out and see if it helps!

Interdental brushes, tongue scraper and Retardex mouthwash, morning and night and I bet you it will go away! Tongue scrapers are miracle workers!

I am going to repeat myself. if you are having an intimate relationship with someone but can't speak about bad breath, BO or any other personal hygiene issues, it shows there is a communication / trust issue. If you need to handle him with kid gloves because he 'overthinks' on something like this, it doesn't bode well for the future when many other more important issues will occur. I think you need to ask why you are putting his 'overthinking' (on bad breath??) before your own needs. Sounds as if you need to work on your self esteem and assertiveness.