What the heck do I do now?

[Soconfusedandsohurt]

I woke up this morning to my partner having a go at me that the floor hasn't been mopped and I've been napping, he pulled me up by my arm roughly and in my defence I struck him round the face.
He dropped my arm and I legged it to the bathroom and tried to barricade myself in but he broke through, I knew he was going to hit me so I crouched and covered my face/head and he punched me repeatedly in my thighs and stomach.
I screamed for him to stop and that he was hurting me and he finally left, he's taken a bag and all the phone chargers but I don't know where on earth he would go too, so I'm assuming when he's done going into work he'll come back here.
I have been planning to leave him but was waiting for primary school placements to come out so I knew what area I needed to be in - this was obviously before this attack.
The bruises have already appeared in full force and are so hot and I can't really sit down, I have a tiny baby and a 4 year old with him.
I'm just sitting here crying my eyes out I don't know what the hell to do. He's taken the car (it is his car). I live 250 miles away from any family and I know my mum would drive up for us in a heartbeat but she's been booked in for a hysterectomy and today and obviously is going to be in no fit state.
I don't know what to do I am so, so hurt. I think he has also taken my keys and locked us in as I can't find them.
Where the fuck do I start? I knew shit was bad, not this bad. what do I do? I have I think around 3 hours until he is back.
Sorry if none of this is making sense I'm not thinking straight

Wow - this is horrendous.
So glad you were planning to exit anyway.
But you are doing all the right things for now.
Police and then Womens Aid.
I hope they arrest the violent criminal.
Get pictures of your bruises as and when they appear and keep taking them as they progress.
Get any paperwork you can just in case you need to make a fast exit.
Passports, birth certificates, account details etc....
Anything you can think of.
Leave them with your neighbour.
Good luck OP.
Make sure the police on womens aid get a restraining order in place urgently for you.

I hope you are safely out of the house and at your neighbours now. Please call the police and Women's Aid and keep yourself and your children safe from him. He is trying to frighten you into not calling the police as he knows he has committed an offence by telling you you hit him first. You only hit out of him after he grabbed your arm to pull you out of bed. He deserves everything coming to him. Good luck .

Another person who just wants to send a hug xxx

You can do this. You can divorce his abusive arse and you can parent those lovely kids on your own. I did it and I'm not brave. I did it to protect me and my dd.

Being a lone parent is way easier then being in an abusive relationship.

Report it, press charges and if you feel safer and more loved being back with your family then go. Xxx

OP I hope you have called the police now. What you did does not excuse his assault on you. Locking you and the children in the house is also a crime.

You need for this to be recorded by the police. If you separate from him, whether that is today, or whenever you are ready, you will need to be able to prove that he was abusive so you can protect yourself and your children.

If he gets a conviction for domestic violence, you will be able to get legal aid so a solicitor represents you in court if he applies to have the children.

Right now your body will be in shock. It's not a good place to be making decisions. Try to think of yourself in 2 years time, looking back on today. You don't want to regret keeping quiet about this. The police will understand.

What you did to protect yourself if what they call reasonable force.
What he did after that is excessive force.
What he did after that is not your fault.

Please think of yourself and your babies. Get away. Get safe. Get the police involved.

Hope you have called police
It is so important moving forward to have this evidence so he has only supervised if any contact with dc.
What ever he says police will see he assaulted you.

Don't worry about school placements, maybe you're better off looking 250 miles away where your family are. Far, far away from that abusive shit. Don't worry about hitting first, be honest with the police about that in your statement. What he did in response was totally disproportionate.

I agree with Darkly; school allocations can wait

I hope you and your dc are safe and ok💐

Hope you are okay.

How are you doing? Are you safe?

I am safe. I have phoned the police, but no one knows where he is.
He hasn't attempted any contact and I am now concerned he has done something stupid (he has made threats too before)
I'm quite sore, injuries have been documented. We are still at home, I don't want to stress my mum out on today of all days and contacting her DH isn't a very good idea as there youngest together is only 7 years old and there are another two siblings not much older than that.
If he is to come back here, my neighbour and her DP are here so I highly doubt he will do anything and I will contact the police immediately. Thank you everybody for your support. I honestly don't know where I have found this strength from.

Well done on contacting the police.
I know you feel like your on the brink of a shit storm, but you've done the right thing you really have.

Stay safe, keep your phone with you and charged.

Thinking of you tonight OP. So glad you have spoken to the police and have good neighbours.

That's brilliant soconfused,

It's going to be hard for a little while so be ready for that but then you'll be on the other side and it can only ever be better after that!

You found the strength because it was always there inside you he just squashed it and made you feel it wasn't there

Well done
I know that worry but please don't.. He is responsible for himself.
You are not responsible for him.
Focus on you and your dc.
More than likely he will come begging and crawling back....dont fall for it.
Stay safe.

How are you op?x

I am okay. In a bit of shock.
I've been posting on other things under my normal name as if everything's fine and for a few seconds keep forgetting what has actually happened.
I told DstepF today, and he was horrified and of course told us to come stay with them but I really don't want to uproot DS1 - he'll miss nursery, football etc. He's been very teary and quite badly behaved today and told me he's not going to bed until Daddy comes home, he's asleep on my lap right now, along with DS2.
Partner was arrested when he was at work today, I know he's going to be livid and mortified and this is really going to set him off.
Policeman is coming round in the morning.
Thank you for asking x

Oh love.

Is he in custody now?

So you know that this is the end, right? Whatever emotions of loyalty you harbour, this really has to be the end. Yes?

Accept DstepF's offer of at least temporary shelter until this crisis subsides a bit. Your dc are going to have to cope, with your help and age appropriate sharing, in a terrifying (albeit not for them) situation where your life is at risk.

Co-operate fully with the police. If you stay, change the locks (deal with the outcome of that later) or at least - for now - barricade yourself in for the night. Literally. Though it might be that he is kept in overnight.

This must be a nightmare for you and I'm so sorry you're going through this. Stay strong. Just to repeat - you know this is the end of your relationship, right?

Right now your safety comes first and it might well be that flight from the home is the best option. Would it be best to use your hyped up energy to do some packing?

Or talk with Women's Aid on the phone? They might be easier to get through to at this time of night - i don't expect sleep is going to come easy tonight. I think the number is on MN info, or google, or others who will post on here shortly as the night shifters come online here. Courage, dear heart.

soconfused I am so sorry you have been through this, it really is an awful thing to live out but the best news is you have got though the toughest part now.
You and your kids can put all the fear behind you and start afresh. I wish you the best of luck, if you can get to DSF, do it if only to get a bit of distance and calm. DS1 won't remember he missed a bit of footie!

Agree with contacting Women's Aid, they are very good at pinpointing help in your immediate area and hugely reassuring at times like this.

And use all of us here- you can and will do this and one day your kids will thank you for it. Make sure you keep your phone with you at all times.

Well done for getting the police involved. You and your children deserve so much more than this. Stay strong you are doing brilliantly

Just wanted to add another well done. I'm glad you are safe and have support. You are absolutely doing the right thing for you and your children

You've absolutely done the right thing. You need to protect yourself to look after your DC and have a happy life. Would you consider relocating to be nearer family?