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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm devestated

79 replies

Itsnotmyday · 16/03/2017 07:50

Dp of 2 years walked out on me and my (not his) dd yesterday. I'm heartbroken. Absolutely. Been bad for a good few months now. He got a new job which took priory over everything. He even said to me his job was his priority but I thought things would get better but they got worse. He told me he doesn't want a family and he doesn't want anymore children (he had 2 from previous relationship). He knew I wanted another child eventually but never told me how he felt, he always said he would when the time Was right. He said u couldn't handle his new position. I could and I supported him the best I could, would listen to him hours on end talking about work. He would work 12 hours 5 days a week but even when he was home he would be either talking about work, doing work, sending emails or on the phone ect. He just doesn't want a family life he wants to be a single man and his life now revolves around his career. He told me he's sorry that his career got in the way of our relationship but it's something he has to pursue. He drinks from the moment he leaves work to the minute he goes to bed early everyday and turns into a arrogant arsehole when he's been drinking. I don't know if I was selfish or I pushed him sent but all I wanted was his time, not all of it. I tried my best to support him but we both want different things. Everything feels so raw and I just want him back even though I know it wouldn't be right

OP posts:
Itsnotmyday · 22/03/2017 08:19

Thanks for that. Looking back now, i wish i never relied on him but at the time we was so in love i never thought he would do this. He would always throw it back in my face, i should of done something about it then. Thankfully my work has rearranged all my shifts and my family are helping me out bo end with childcare. I had a message from him yesterday saying he would have no problem being friends and if our kids still wanted to see each other.. obviously i didnt reply

OP posts:
Itsnotmyday · 22/03/2017 08:37

He used to say to me id never find someone as good as him, and i dont know what id be loosing (these was during arguements whilst still together) and id loose everything if i lost him, he also used to say that no one would do half the stuff he did for me and my dd. Maybe i wont ever find anyone else, what if im alone forever

OP posts:
honeyroar · 22/03/2017 21:36

Read what you wrote again, a lot of the things he said weren't nice... It's not a special gift in a relationship to find someone that fits into your life, helps with your kids, is a partner, it's normal. You will get over him. You will find someone else as good, if not better. You might not think so now, but you will. You're young, you've got years ahead of you.

hellsbellsmelons · 23/03/2017 09:14

Wow - a few controlling abusive red flags waving there in your updates.
I really do believe you are far better out of this.
I hope you are feeling a little better this morning.

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