Can't shake off pathetic crush

[Fattiefattie]

Urghhh that's it really. Previously posted about this and got some good advice to sort my sh*t out a few months ago. I thought it was supposed to have passed by now...

I'm married and trying hard with it. Been together 15 years and yet have a ridiculous inner dialogue going on about this school girl crush.

What can I do to shake it off? It's a colleague. Can't change jobs - have worked my whole career for this role and relocated to do it. Arggh.

It makes absolutely no sense. I have come in today to find out he (object of my pathetic-ness) will be traveling for rest of the month and my heart sank into the floor. I need a slap.

I feel for you OP and can relate. I'm glad it's not just me!

I have (I believe) a reciprocal crush which I think he feels more strongly than I do. But I am flattered. Sounds childish, I know.

We once saw each other unexpectedly with our partners and my DP noticed the other man's reaction to me and saw it for what it was - that he likes me a lot. Nothing would ever happen and we don't see each other in real life, but we do keep in touch on social media (which our partners can see). It will only ever be a bit of harmless excitement and banter. What is interesting is what it signifies that is missing in my relationship at times...hmm. I should try to learn from it, I suppose.

He gave me a lift today. Which made me really bizarrely aloof or stand offish... I am a complete weirdo. Heart pounding though....

How is everyone doing today? I'm so fed up of feeling like this - need to sort my life out!

I haven't seen my crush for a week and a half due to the holidays - feelings have definitely eased off thankfully. I will see him next week though and go straight back to being a giddy school girl

I'm glad I stumbled across this post!

I'm single (and so is he), but I have suddenly developed a huge crush on my work BFF of 4 years

I can't believe how many others have these colleague infatuations. Makes me feel a bit less ridiculous!

Sourflower - glad there is someone just like me. We are also both single but have only been talking for about 9 months - that gradually developed into going for coffee and then lunch at work, then we went out together for a Xmas party and started hugging, holding hands etc. This has since developed further but I haven't got a clue where I stand and seeing him every day is driving me mad

Aw PW22 sounds promising if you've held hands etc! I'm glad there's someone else in my boat too Do you speak much outside of work? It's a bit odd crossing that work/outside of work barrier isn't it!

My "crush" and I work directly together and are constantly together at work - lifts to and from work (live in the same area), work in the same department, go for lunch together daily etc. We've been absolute best friends for 4 years and all of a sudden it's like something's switched in my head and I feel all awkward

It would be much simpler to go back to just the friend feelings, I'm hoping this silly crush will pass!

We used to text a lot outside of work and still do every few days. I've just made my situation really complicated - it is driving me mad thinking about it. We do have a fair bit of contact but are in different departments. That must be really hard - spending all that time together - how do you deal with it?

Do you want it to progress PW or would it make things too complicated? Do your other colleagues know?

It's not so bad while we're working because we share a big open plan office with another 5 people, so there's lots of group chatter rather than 1 on 1 conversations all the time. I still feel like we're the best friends like we always have been, it's just a bit awkward looking at him in a rather different light all of a sudden and I don't really know why or what I'm supposed to do about it

Surely humans should have evolved enough to have better control over feelings by now

One colleague knows who is friends with both of us but apart from that no one else knows. It's just a really messed up situation - we slept together a few months ago and agreed we wouldn't do it again. We then went out two weeks ago and guess what happened! And it's things like the way he hugs me etc. But we both have messed up ex partners and apart from work events etc we don't go out so I don't know what is going on.

It is so hard seeing that person every day - if I didn't have to see him at work it would be so much easier to just say what is this?

Does your friend have only idea of how you feel?

Oh that must be really difficult for you do you see much of each other at work?

I'm trying to ensure that he remains entirely oblivious in the hope that I get over this stupid crush and back to normal! Haha

We see quite a lot of each other at work and it's like we seek each other out so we normally go for coffee together at the same time each morning - I'm not sure what it is or what we are!!

If you find the solution to this, please let me know

I don't think I'd be able to handle the tension in your position given that the feelings are reciprocated, I think I'd have to blurt out the old "what is this?!" conversation - but I totally understand what you mean that it's more difficult to do that when you see each other at work every day!

In the meantime I'll continue with my quest to find a cure for crushes and will be sure to inform the thread if I'm successful

You could sell it and make a fortune judging by the number of people with the same feelings 😀.

I really don't know what to do - I'm just hoping that if I don't put any pressure on him then if it is meant to be, then it will happen but it drives me mad some days. Then other days I think it's best to take it slow - we've both come out of difficult relationships.