I'm not saying he definitely isn't, I'm saying you are not able to make that assessment. It's a 'thing' now online that people (usually women) are encouraged to attempt to attribute severe MH problems to people that have treated them badly. You only have to see how many pages of Google that come up or how many threads come up on MN. It's the latest online diagnosis du jour.
The thing about PDs are that the symptoms are commonly seen in the majority of the population, it is the extreme to which it occurs in someone with PD and the persistentance and pervasiveness that leads to a diagnosis. So you can look at a set of criteria and think it all applies but that doesn't mean it does or that that person would be diagnosed with a PD because Psychiatry is far more than a list of boxes to be ticked and diagnosing PDs is much more complex than that. And you cannot be objective when it's someone you have a relationship with/have had a relationship with.
If we're talking about someone with a diagnosable anti-social PD then the best way to process it is to think that it's a mental disorder which that person has no more control over than if they had any other mental disorder. That's not to say they don't have any control over their behaviour but that can also be said for pretty much any non-psychotic mental health problem. It's what drives that behaviour that causes the problems and it is that that they have no control over.
It's likely that someone with antisocial PD has experienced some kind of early trauma and that's what shaped their development and their world view. The online 'sociopath movement' gives the impression that these people skip through life damaging other people and walking away unscathed when the majority of time it's not true.
Anti-social PD is pervasive. It will affect every single aspect of their life. Every relationship, every job, every encounter with the world. It's often associated with high levels of stress, often as a result of their behaviour yes, but the constant levels of anxiety and anger (often linked or one misinterpreted for the other) can be debilitating. You're very likely to come into contact with the criminal justice system and spend time in prison (usually for repeated lower level offences) and very likely to have substance misuse issues and all this contributes to poorer employment opportunities, homelessness etc. You're more likely to die early.
You won't sustain relationships (if you do, it's usually one where you're an abuser) and you go through life not able to understand why everything goes wrong for you because you don't see it's you that causes it. You might go through life with a sense of paranoia, victimhood and injustice and that perpetuates your problems because you'll over-react to minor incidents.
That's the reality of life for most people with an antisocial PD. Yes there might be a few who got to the top of big business but it's far more likely they'll be leading a shit life.
So you need to see it as something that is part of them and nothing to do with you. No-one other than a therapist could help or make it better. No matter what you did, it would never be enough. No-one will be. And they'll try again and again and never really experience true happiness or contentment.
You could tie yourself up in knots trying to analyse their behaviour and it's better to from the start to understand that you never will. You'll never understand why they are destructive to themselves and other people. And while you're reading books or articles on the Internet trying to understand, I guarantee they're not. They're just getting on with the rest of their lives while you expend a huge amount of emotional energy.
Don't go around in fear, there are far, far more typical people than people with PDs. You will now be in a position where you'll recognise red flags, know what they are and what you need to do.