Single after an awful lot of years - how to learn how to flirt again?

[HTCPCPTEA]

Flirt isn't really the right word, but not quite sure how to express it. Was with now ex-H for 26 years (we got together when I was 21) - split up some months ago after a difficult few years. I've now got to the place where I'd definitely be interested in someone anyone to sleep with another relationship.

But I think I've totally lost the plot on how to do this! There's a rather attractive bloke I know, and a couple of times he's made comments I could have picked up on & I just totally closed down (eg mentioning he hadn't seen a film when I was expressing interest in it, not exactly anything but might be IYKWIM - 30 years ago I'd have said 'I'm going next Tuesday &'ll have space in the car if you wanted to see it & were free' - I just randomly carried on the conversation with someone else there). There's been a couple of other similar situations (different person)
Has anyone else had this problem after being in a relationship for years and years. Or am I just weird ???

...

I can't help I'm afraid, I'm also newly single and utterly rubbish at flirting. But I hope it's ok to be here for solidarity, and to benefit from any tips from the more adept.

Solidarity would be great :) I just feel totally at sea - perhaps someone will come along and give us both some ideas.

Another one signing in for solidarity - fist-bump! Been single most of my adult life due to having all the flirtatious allure of a baked spud. But we can support and learn together right?

Yay for solidarity!

Solidarity fist bump. In exactly the same situation. My single friends are all over Tinder etc, meeting guys, talking to guys, dating them, shagging them and I barely feel like I've passed the starting line despite feeling in a good place and ready to get out there

Soopermum that's exactly like me - my friends may lament being single, but they're out there talking to guys, sleeping with them (being blunt, that's mainly what I'm after right now - not looking for a serious relationship). I think part of the problem is I'm very happy being self sufficient and having space - and maybe I put that out there too much.

I think part of the problem is I'm very happy being self sufficient and having space - and maybe I put that out there too much.

Me too OP. I'm used to being by myself, taking care of my own needs and making my own stuff happen, and my friends tell me this is off-putting as men like to feel needed. I seem to give off a happy-alone-so-don't-even-try-mate vibe.

I definitely don't need a bloke but it would be nice to date one!

Newly single too - I can flirt but always assume I've got no chance!

I used to be very shy but when I was first entering the dating scene, someone told me to pretend you find the other person interesting and utterly absorbing, as if they are the most fascinating person you have met. Some friendly touching e.g a light nudge of the arm when you/they make a joke should be done as well. I started doing both of these and it works beautifully.

Oh and the light hearted teasing that is mentioned above also works well!

Kudos to you for wanting to! If DH left I'd be a nun cos I couldn't face taking my clothes off in front of anyone now!

A simple smile, A joyful Hi with eye contact, a flick of the hair, a sexy look, come to bed eyes.
Come on girls how hard can it be????

Oooooooooooooozzzzzzze confidence!!

Only a simpleton wouldn't pick up on these signals.

There is a thread on her about Valentine's that led to a discussion on flirting. Someone posted an interesting statistic, that men miss 3 out of 5 body language signals given off by women

"Come on girls how hard can it be????"
I could do that at a party with a stranger and no kids in tow. Sadly I'm more likely to be standing by a sports field in kit with a bunch of 10 year olds hanging around . . . (I do know the bloke in that particular scenario is single, just to be clear!)

"If DH left I'd be a nun cos I couldn't face taking my clothes off in front of anyone now!"
I am slightly ignoring the fact that last time I had sex with someone else John Major was PM. But ex H managed it and I am more attractive than him

Where I live doesn't help - there isn't really a 'dating scene' - more of a bring-and-share given the relative number of single women vs single men.

I did contemplate trying Tinder, but I have a very nasty feeling I would know all of the people on there within a 30 mile radius - I'm now trying to make u my mind if that matters

Football fields, Tesco's, Aldi, Starbucks, Costa, Pubs, Garden centres, School gates, B&Q, Nail bars, Car parks...... the list of places to flirt is endless.

Boots is my favourite when a woman is having a make over!!

Nearest Starbucks 70 miles away, & Costa 30, so maybe a little impractical, and I can't think of the last time I went shopping and met someone I didn't already know . . . But yes, I take your wider point.

HTCPCPTEA.

You can always practice on me :) Flirting on line, now there is a challenge :)

Fancy a chat some time? :)

It's really true, I checked their store locator! It's just a bit of a rural area - we do have plenty of independent cafes though, so it's a bit of a cheat.

Damn, name changed for this and I changed back to post on another thread and forgot